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to hate noisy eaters?

(41 Posts)
StepfauxWife Sat 20-Dec-14 20:05:21

Just that really. DH is happily munching through a bag of Doritos and it's making me stabby.

It's not even the initial crunch. I accept that crisps are crunchy. It's the subsequent mushy chews that drive me insane.

What's the Mumsnettiquete in relation to noisy eaters?

snowspot Sat 20-Dec-14 20:08:42

"Mushy chews" <gigantic shudder>

My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight OP.

Pregnantagain7 Sat 20-Dec-14 20:10:20

I despise noisy eaters they should be hung drawn and quartered no excuse for it.

sooperdooper Sat 20-Dec-14 20:10:30

Kill them all

tiggydiggydee Sat 20-Dec-14 20:16:19

One of my pet hates too! My BIL, SIL and their two boys are terrible eaters! I have to look away when they eat....Eww they eat with their mouths open too..yuk!

LumpenproletariatAndProud Sat 20-Dec-14 20:18:57


Firedemon Sat 20-Dec-14 20:21:42

Should be punishable by death. See also: sniffers, spitters, heavy breathers

Bigbadgeorge Sat 20-Dec-14 20:24:24

Also hate hate hate!

StepfauxWife Sat 20-Dec-14 20:24:55

Ah I knew I would find solace with you lovely people.

It's not even open mouthed chewing. It's closed mouth noisy chewing. confused I swear it has got worse.

I love this man more than anything - except this! What's the solution, I wonder. Meals in separate rooms?

twoopsie Sat 20-Dec-14 20:25:59

There was a woman in a shop today who was muching quaver and talking with her mouth open. I wanted to floor the bitch.

Once sat next to someone on a long flight with a bumper bag of crisps eating them one by one slowly. Luckily I could move to a spare seat after we took off. Else I would of beheaded the cunt.

ItIsSmallerOnTheOutside Sat 20-Dec-14 20:27:35

I'm still working on getting dp to eat with his mouth shut. He has improved but sometimes slips into old ways. There's nothing worse than seeing chewed up bits of food on someone's tongue. His family have no table manners at all. Makes me feel sick.

thenightsky Sat 20-Dec-14 20:27:41

Oh god... my BiL makes mmmnomnommmmm noises as he eats. Makes me really stabby. My sister thinks it's cute and lovely angry

ClumsyFool Sat 20-Dec-14 20:27:43

Ahhh I thought I was the only one!! I know IABU and I wish there was something I could do to stop wanting to murder people over it!

SweetPeaPods Sat 20-Dec-14 20:29:19

I deteste the sound of people eating. DH drives me mad. FiL sat next to me in the car eating some McCoys crisps it was hell

Bailey101 Sat 20-Dec-14 20:31:12

I can't cope with noisy eaters and bad table etiquette. I broke up with the last man I was seeing because he had horrible table manners blush

Notso Sat 20-Dec-14 20:32:38

Urgh YANBU, DH eating a yoghurt makes me want to smush it in his face.

iklboo Sat 20-Dec-14 20:37:54

DH is an occasional 'clack the spoon off the teeth'.

BIL3 sounds like a sump draining. And he eats head right down over his plate, shovelling food in, smacking & slurping, while in his phone. Even in a restaurant.

Saracarbonera Sat 20-Dec-14 20:38:14

I have a friend that has to give a running commentary on how gorgeous everything she eats is "mmmm, this is so good" "oh my god this is fantastic" etc she goes on and on. It drives me insane.

By the way YANBU

AlfAlf Sat 20-Dec-14 20:42:03

Grrr, YANBU.

Nothavingfunrightnow Sat 20-Dec-14 20:42:20

DH is a noisy eater, too. He can make mashed potato sound crunchy. I despair of him, really I do.

Then there's a woman at work who eats mayonnaisey rolls with an open mouth and then talks while eating. You can see the food in her mouth and at the corners of her mouth. I have this peculiar loathsome fascination about her eating - particularly when she starts crunching her crisps. God's sake's. I am convinced the aliens in the 26th Galaxy to the right of the Milky Way can hear her.

Drives me fucking crazy (can I say crazy??)

snowspot Sat 20-Dec-14 20:54:04

You all know that this is called 'Misophonia'.

It has a medical word so it must be a medical condition to be taken seriously. I prescribe one thump into the face for anyone who vigourously scrapes the pattern off their plate with their knife (in order to get the last bit of food) or anyone who slurps their tea and gives an 'ahhh' of satisfaction having drunk said tea.

StepfauxWife Sat 20-Dec-14 23:17:05

Snowspot my dd now does the "Ahhh" thing. At 17 months, it's funny but will be nipping it in the bud before it sticks!

championnibbler Sat 20-Dec-14 23:20:36

twoopsie - "Else I would of beheaded the cunt."
that's hilarious and i totally empathise.

DB is a noisy eater and sounds like a washing machine when he gets going. drives me nuts.

HenriettaTurkey Sat 20-Dec-14 23:22:02

Sometimes DH eats an apple when he's on the phone to me. Makes me feel so ill. And when he eats yoghurt of he doesn't close his mouth properly it's like he has rabies. Ugh!

I'm off to google misaphonia.

Discopanda Sat 20-Dec-14 23:23:03

It's the actual worst. Oh, and people who scrape their cutlery on their teeth, why can't they just eat properly?!

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