To be honest, I think it WBU, if only because it would put DH in a difficult position and cause a lot of drama so wouldn't actually do it but would dearly love to tell them to do one! This may be long as don't want to drip feed.
So, in the 12 years that DH and I have been together we have never had Xmas day in our own home. In fact, we typically end up spending half the day on the Motorway going from one set of parents to the other (mine live ages away, his are local) in an effort to keep everyone happy. We tried doing one year with my lot, the next year with his for a while but scrapped that because PIL's would sulk when it wasn't their year and try to guilt trip DH into changing plans. When we go to theirs they expect DH and I to cook dinner (they don't help or even prepare veg or anything before our arrival), fetch drinks for everyone and then clear up after dinner etc while they sit on their arses. They claim that this is because MIL finds it "too stressful" and PIL "doesn't know how to cook" yet they've somehow still managed to have a Christmas dinner whenever we've eaten my parents house. PIL's have form for always expecting people to come to them. They rarely bother with DC's (although they make a big fuss over thier othet GC's) and wouldn't see them for months on end if we didn't make the effort to go there.
Anyway, this year we decided enough is enough and we weren't going to spend the day dragging tired, cold DC's in and out of the car. So we told both sets of parents that we would be having Christmas day at home and that they will be more than welcome to come round for drinks and nibbles in the evening. My parents were fine with it and accepted our invitation but PIL's were very obviously put out. FIL declared that it would be "impossible" as they have other relatives coming for lunch so they will be too busy (these relatives go to PIL's every year and always leave about 4/5ish) and he will have had a drink so won't be able to drive. MIL can drive and has a car but doesn't like driving . I pointed out that DH hasn't had a drink on Christmas day for years as he has always had to drive ( I have only just passed my test this year) but they've never given that a thought. We were then accused of being strange and antisocial for wanting to spend the day at home as a family.
DH was very hurt, not so much for himself but that they couldn't be bothered to drive for 15mins or get a taxi (which they could very easily afford) to see their DC's on Christmas day. But we had a good moan and then a bit of a laugh about it all and resolved to not let it spoil anything. This was a couple of weeks ago and FIL has just rung to say they've changed their mind and will come to us in the evening. No apology, just very matter of fact. I think DH is pleased, although he acknowledged that it was all a bit rude but I'm fuming! I've already done the big Christmas shop online and it's too late to amend it so will now have to go out and get food/drinks for the evening and I am loathe to set foot in a supermarket this close to christmas. If it was up to me I would say "sorry, you're too late we've made other plans" but is that just nasty of me?
I suppose I should be happy that they've backed down and that it's nice for DH and DC's etc but it boils my piss that they think they can turn us down and then we're supposed to be grateful that they've deigned to come round after all at short notice.
I think it would serve them right if they turned up and we weren't in
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AIBU?
AIBU to want to univite PIL's for Christmas?
43 replies
monkeytroubles · 20/12/2014 18:24
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