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to send this email to MIL?

(48 Posts)
QueenofKelsingra Sat 20-Dec-14 13:19:07

Dear Fucking Crazy Loon,

After spending half an hour calming down my DH I felt I should make the following points to you:

1. DH is not my keeper or owner. He does not have control over who I do or do not phone and when I am or am not in the house.

2. I will not answer the phone to you as I will end up shouting at you and telling you what an idiot you really are. Also I will never just phone you to chat to pass the time of day. I would rather stick pins in my eyes.

3. My parents will continue to see the DGC as often as they wish as they live close and do not make me want to commit murder just from being in their presence. No I will not restrict their access to make it 'fair'.

4. My grandmother is my grandmother, her actual bloodline relation to me is irrelevant. Stop saying she is not my real grandmother.

5. No I will not make the children sit still. they are children and require plenty of running around time.

6. No I will not stop them picking up stones/sticks/conkers or jumping in mud/puddles when out for a walk. they are dressed appropriately and it is fun.

7. No I will not send my children to a childminder and go back to work because you think too much time with their mother is 'damaging' and 'unhealthy'.

8. No I will not separate DD from her twin and elder brother until she is ready. It will not turn them 'weird' if I allow them to share a bedroom.

9. Playing with a friend's DS who prefers skirts to trousers and princesses to trains will not turn my DS 'queer'.

10. For the record: DH is not fat, he does not drink too much (except when you are visiting) and no he does not require a new suit from Saville Row.

11. Yes it is true I am avoiding your calls but ever since I was hospitalised with a potentially fatal illness and you called my mother to demand who was making sure DH had clean and ironed shirts for work and not once asked how I was I find it hard to summon up any interest in you.

12. Most importantly however, no matter what you do or how evil and crazy you are - DH is on to you. he knows what you are like. He supports my decision not to have contact with you outside the 4 or so visits we have to suffer. He suffers them because you are his mother and he is a nicer and more generous person than I am. I suffer them because he is my husband and as long as this is what he wants I will support him, because I love him. You will never get between us.

Best wishes for the Christmas Season, do try not to choke on your own superiority complex.


Sorry that was long but I so had to get that out before I actually sent it to her. feel free to add your own 'I wish I could send' messages! it's very cathartic!

TracyBarlow Sat 20-Dec-14 13:23:40

I'd send it to be honest.

Sorry you're having a hard time.

Xmasmarket Sat 20-Dec-14 13:24:24

YABU. I wish I had a MIL. You should be grateful to have one who shows enough interest to call and visit you.

Thought I'd get in there first. wink fgrin

meltedmonterayjack Sat 20-Dec-14 13:24:49

She sounds very special! Hope you feel a lot better for getting that off your chest. I'm glad your DH has the measure of her and that you are both standing together against such vile behaviour.

GothMummy Sat 20-Dec-14 13:25:01

I dont know if you should send it or not but I would like to email my MIL who drove 20 miles to let herself into our house this morning whilst we were all sleeping to do the washing up!!! I couldnt actually believe it had happened......

ILoveLenor Sat 20-Dec-14 13:27:43

Queen are you really going to send it?

Bakeoffcakes Sat 20-Dec-14 13:28:09

She sounds a complete cow.

I wouldn't blame you if you did send it.

I hope you don't have ot suffer too much of her over Christmas.

QueenofKelsingra Sat 20-Dec-14 13:28:53

Xmas fgrin thanks for that!

Melted I can completely see how MILs destroy marriages, ours wouldn't last if DH for a second thought she was a reasonable person! I do feel better for venting!

Goth confused really? how odd! just....why??

QueenofKelsingra Sat 20-Dec-14 13:29:59

ilove I wish I could. but I couldn't do that to DH. to misquote: best to remain silent and have her think I hate her than open my mouth and remove all doubt!

Hoppinggreen Sat 20-Dec-14 13:31:52

Most mil problems turn out to be DH problems, doesn't sound like yours is - she sounds unhinged!
Don't necessarily send it but hopefully sticking it n here made you feel better.

QueenofKelsingra Sat 20-Dec-14 13:33:21

DH's only problem is that he is too nice and cant bring himself to cut her off (he's an only child and she is divorced). He is fully aware that she is deranged.

OttiliaVonBCup Sat 20-Dec-14 13:33:35

You forgot the Fuck off bit.

Apart from that it's fine.

GothMummy Sat 20-Dec-14 13:34:58

I really have no idea why she did it, Queen, but it was not in a "random act of kindness" kind of way, and it ended in her having a row with DH who was saying it was not reasonable or sane behaviour. I think the subtext is she thinks we are not coping (we are).

QueenofKelsingra Sat 20-Dec-14 13:37:33

I would get your key back goth ! SOunds like something mine would do if she lived close enough! we live in 'squalor' apparently!

BeanAndAHalf Sat 20-Dec-14 13:40:47

I don't remember writing that original post!

You could easily be talking to my mil!

Feel your pain.

Have a merry mil free Christmas.

madsadbad Sat 20-Dec-14 13:42:16

Im sorry about the rest but this no he does not require a new suit from Saville Row made me chuckle!

GothMummy Sat 20-Dec-14 13:46:58

Ah yes. I think lots of MILs forget what a normal house looks like at the end of the week when both parents are at work and there are small children. Im trying to be calm about this morning but am really cross as I know the criticism is of me.
I remember once she brought over a pot of paint and told DH to paint our garden gate!

Queen, your MIL sounds like a nightmare.......

QueenofKelsingra Sat 20-Dec-14 13:47:12

Bean I am sorry you're suffering similar craziness!

Mad I wouldn't mind so much if she was offering to buy the suit herself - but she's poor you see, so poor she can only afford 5 or 6 holidays a year. and DH is a 'white collar worker' so clearly a millionaire right? hmm

mrspottasbubble Sat 20-Dec-14 13:53:05

She rang your mother about clean/ironed shirts whilst you were in hospital? shock I was taken in this year,he did his own bleedin' washing and the kids and mine as I was incapable for weeks.

She sounds barking.I say send it and then report back grin

StrangeGlue Sat 20-Dec-14 13:54:02

Yabu as the correct sign off is 'fuckety bye'

With that amendment you're good to go.

GothMummy Sat 20-Dec-14 13:58:05

I dont think you should send it as your DH does not want you to and he sounds quite nice.

Andrewofgg Sat 20-Dec-14 14:01:50

Poor DH he's known her all his life . . . she sounds appalling.

Think it but don't send it.

I recommend wine in large quantities and have a good Christmas.

ilovesooty Sat 20-Dec-14 14:16:08

I wouldn't send it but I imagine you feel better for writing it!

tiredvommachine Sat 20-Dec-14 14:21:36

I think is an awesome email but I agree that probably best not to send it unless serious provocation is displayed again (not saying you haven't already had enough to justify sending the email a million times over but hopefully you know what I mean!). fgrin

Gruntfuttock Sat 20-Dec-14 14:30:33

StrangeGlue what a fantastic post! grin

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