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to start an in laws and dh whinge??!!

(22 Posts)
bumpiesonamission Fri 19-Dec-14 21:35:33

Sorry, on a whinge.

Back story:

At in-laws, horrid night with baby first night as they insisted(along with dh envy ) on getting him to look at the Christmas tree and stupid dancing Christmas tree character between him waking as we arrive and him going to bed. We arrived at 10pm, I had said I'd be taking him straight to bed. He's 10mnths old ffs.

So now I've had to whinge at dh to go out for a walk twice as baby is bored, in laws live on hill in secluded area and I can't drive any of the cars here.

MIL keeps telling me to "relax" and sit down but no one will entertain DS so he whines for me. I prefer to be active and help out and chat.

I do generally get on with in-laws, MIL more than disturbed FIL but I'm just so frustrated!!!

And to top it off FIL and DH have been farting allll night. They stink and make no apologies. Yes I fart but I say excuse me and don't push it out

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this is only day one of 4!!!!

I totally appreciate these are first world whines and many have it so much worse but I just needed to get it out before I EXPLODE. Oh and if BIL slams one more door ............envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy

Jodie1982 Fri 19-Dec-14 21:39:19

I must say your brave! I would never attempt it with my kiddies, I tried it yrs ago with my 1st child and she never settled, it's so much hard wrk visiting over night or for a few days with a young child. Good luck!

bumpiesonamission Fri 19-Dec-14 21:54:26

Thanks, this is part 1 of 3!! next year we are NOT doing this!

minesapintofwine Fri 19-Dec-14 23:34:54

Ok...deep breaths. You can do this. The things that are getting to you now won't seem so bad in the future. I do know where you are coming from though. Inlaws and actually my own parents too have the ability to really phish me off. Throw a non sleeping baby into it (not literally) and its emotions x 100. Just breathe, keep calm, try to make the best of your first Christmas with baby. I hate confrontation, Im more of a quiet seether with a 'face' on, but would definately talk to dh about his farting! Thats not on. Ywnbu to tell him off about that

sooperdooper Fri 19-Dec-14 23:37:53

Purposefully farting is disgusting - have you told DH he's vile??

I'd take yourself off out for a walk with DS, clear your head, you don't need him to go with you!

Cooki3Monst3r Fri 19-Dec-14 23:44:59

Dear God OP. I feel your pain.

I can only recommend 2 options though.

The first is extremely illegal, but will leave you in complete peace. (until the neighbours complain of the smell and forensics show up.)

The second is to check in to a hotel. Just go. Save yourself while you can!! (and baby, obviously).

minesapintofwine Sat 20-Dec-14 00:00:36

grin at Cooki3

vitabrits Sat 20-Dec-14 04:23:37

I see where you're coming from. We are visiting my parents atm and I put my 12 month old to bed last night when I noticed she was almost asleep, without passing her to her grandparents to say goodnight, as I knew that if I did it would rouse her awake again. I just quietly stood up from the table and took her into the bedroom. (Didn't work though, she heard granny clattering in the kitchen and got up for another hour)!

Romeorodriguez Sat 20-Dec-14 05:25:20

The farting is hideous, but your baby being out of routine isn't such a massive deal. Why can't you drive there? Why is your 10 month old bored? What does it usually do?

bumpiesonamission Sat 20-Dec-14 07:15:34

Oh I love you miners, after another less bad but not normal(Ds had been finally sleeping through for the last two weeks) I've been given a giggle.

I'm sitting on the 'farting' business and will use it at an appropriate time for "well, as you inflicted nasal assault on me you can....."

Can't drive here as not insured on any cars, long boring story about dh and in-laws being tight arses.

Baby bored/annoyed as keeps being taken away from exciting areas such as log pile and large, adorned with glass decorations, Christmas tree but also used to getting out and about at least once a day.

So am breathing(not deeply as gas-gate still aliveenvy envy ) and dh has taken Ds downstairs so I can have a kip!

Any tips on what to do now it's lashing with rain and windy?!!

CornChips Sat 20-Dec-14 07:22:45

Monopoly? Jigsaws?

No, think Cooki's option one has to be it.

It sounds hell


Slutbucket Sat 20-Dec-14 07:38:51

Cooki might be onto something did you say it was secluded?

HeraldAngelSinging Sat 20-Dec-14 07:46:29

Oh dear! I feel for you, OP. Just tell the others that your DS likes to play. Are thee any toys there? Presumably you took one or two with you? He's in a new environment so will take an hour or to to settle in. Then he'll be 'exploring' grin. Let him. Let him. Let him. grin

I am going away for Christmas to a place where I hope I will not be the wicked stepmother and mother-in-law from Hell. No toddles there though sad

Rebecca2014 Sat 20-Dec-14 08:54:24

It doesn't sound that bad...the farting is vile but other than that? Why don't you go out by yourself with your son? are they forcing you to stay in the house??? um no you just don't want go out alone.

Also you have a son...remember you and your husband will be that mil and fil to your son partner.

Cat2014 Sat 20-Dec-14 08:58:57

Rebecca - why should op go out herself with her son? Either dh should go too, or op should be able to go on her own and dh stay with ds. Not much fun for you, op - stay strong!

hiccupgirl Sat 20-Dec-14 09:01:30

Go out anyway with the baby....are there any footpaths you can go and explore?

I know exactly what you mean though. We had this with DS at 12 months staying at in-laws for 2 nights just before Christmas. They wouldn't move anything out of his way because 'he just needs telling not to touch it' and they just wanted to sit around all the time which just does not work with an active crawling toddler who's used to going out places. The only plus was that they annoy DH more than they annoy me so he was desperate to escape too.

Just remember not to sign up to the same thing next year. We just do an afternoon visit and stay in a travel lodge nearby now. DS at nearly 5 is far too active for the in-laws (in their 80s) to cope with now and it becomes disastrous after 2 hours max.

ooerrmissus Sat 20-Dec-14 09:03:56

Very simple. You just tell them DS is bored without his toys and not being able to go out, so you will have to improvise. Collect all the pans and a couple of wooden spoons to create some drums. Once DS has finished assaulting everyone's eardrums get some plastic cups or bits if Tupperware and fill the bath with water. Put child in and apologise to anyone who needs to use the bathroom for the next hour or so but you know, you need to keep DS entertained. If all goes well you will be on the car insurance by the end if the day. If badly at least you've had some fun and you won't be invited back next year.

VeryThelma Sat 20-Dec-14 09:14:48

That is excellent advice ^^ grin Is no help but one of THE worst days if my life was a boxing day with 4 month old DS2 breastfeeding in front of FIL with 2 year old DS1 a gale outside and DH went b to the match.

So count your blessings in a couple of years it could be b twice as bad angry

Do what you have to and nap when the baby does

VeryThelma Sat 20-Dec-14 09:15:33

and apologies for the extra bs

LittleDonkeyLeftie Sat 20-Dec-14 09:20:49

When you say this is part one of three, can you expand? Maybe we can think of ways to release you from your hellish obligations?

OP, once you have a baby, you are allowed to stay home all over the holidays.

Stop The Madness People!!!!

Rant over, as you were. fgrin

SanityClause Sat 20-Dec-14 09:36:26

Tell DH you want to go out. Tell him you want to go on the car insurance. He is being financially controlling.

I know everyone is laughing at the farting and being all "lighthearted" about it. But seriously!

Obviously, when you are a guest in someone else's house, you have to do things their way, much more. But these are your family! You should be able to say you want to pop out and see the Christmas decorations in the closest town, or go for a walk for an hour without causing offence, particularly if the other option is to just sit and relax (ie, there's no specific activity planned).

Also, see what FIL is like. Give it a few years, and your DH is likely to be just the same. He appears to look up to him, with all the bonding over pushing out farts (oh, hilair!).

bumpiesonamission Sat 20-Dec-14 16:15:48

OK, 2am stern words have really helped with the cabin fever issue!! I have been going out and the in-laws seem to have remembered how to care for children!!!

The farting however ............

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