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Receiving a second hand/already opened Secret Santa gift?

(84 Posts)
ladymeredith Fri 19-Dec-14 18:35:10

This is probably going to be a bit of a controversial topic so I'm aware that there will be mixed opinions.

But basically my job did Secret Santa and I think I pulled the short straw for gifts. The gift I received was one that the sender had clearly previously received as an unwanted gift and looking at the box, I could tell by the way it was taped that it had already been opened and taped back up, along with being covered in dust and being slightly torn!

I get not everyone is in the same financial situation (it was a £5 limit) and I'm not trying to be selfish, nor do I expect designer stuff. However I was rather hurt and insulted to receive that and it made me very cross as I had put effort into mine despite not being in the best financial situation (there was not obligation to take part). I probably won't do it again.

AIBU?

Aeroflotgirl Fri 19-Dec-14 18:36:57

Seems very cheapskate to me.

Zame Fri 19-Dec-14 18:39:05

Nope not being unreasonable at all.
In my first secret Santa at work I got one part of a 3 for 2 deal on some kind of body wash crap from the bodyshop.
I was soooo pissed off

Zame Fri 19-Dec-14 18:39:41

The limit was a tenner by the way, so the gift would've cost a couple of quid

arethereanyleftatall Fri 19-Dec-14 18:48:11

Oooh I pretty much always re gift secret Santas. I do re wrap them properly though. Thought everyone did tbh. Whoops

amicissimma Fri 19-Dec-14 18:53:41

Keep it to put in next year's Secret Santa.

Then you can get some entertainment value out of it by seeing how many years it appears. And who keeps it!

pineapplecrush Fri 19-Dec-14 18:54:24

This happened at our office Christmas lunch last week. My lovely colleague received a fabric trinket box (which had a small tear on the side) with a bangle inside, she whispered to me it was second hand. It was, my colleague was a bit hurt. A bottle of Cava would have gone down much better.

Cabrinha Fri 19-Dec-14 18:54:37

Secret Santa is a bit crap I think, it's all very well saying it's voluntary, but I'm sure people feel pressured to take part. I'm sure it works on some teams but not all. I wouldn't expect anything good from it, I do think you're a bit U to be bothered.

Cabrinha Fri 19-Dec-14 18:59:14

I thought that the one nice thing about economic difficulties was that people had stopped looking down on secondhand?
What does it matter?
OK, torn isn't good - but to be "hurt" you got a bangle?
Flipping heck! I struggle sometimes trying to decide what to get people I know well and love, with no budget to stick to. A fiver and someone I only know through work? Tough.

And I don't like cava, and even if I did would find it dull. It's very much a no-thought gift, pleased most people because they either like it or it's an easy re-gift. It's not bad, but it's dull. I don't say that to argue with the PP - just to say, this is why you just have to roll with Secret Santa, everyone has different views what is good!

QuinnTwinny Fri 19-Dec-14 19:02:55

A girl I know received a bottle of wine that was already open and partially drank!

Cabrinha Fri 19-Dec-14 19:06:24

Oooooooh, that's a fab story!

munchkinmaster Fri 19-Dec-14 19:06:37

My old boss years ago gave two employees a distinctive bottle of champagne for their wedding. Lovely, except it was the same bottle they had given him for Christmas the year before. Oops

Cabrinha Fri 19-Dec-14 19:07:44

I've just got a bottle of wine from a niece who gives everyone wine. She does know (but isn't thinking, as Xmas = wine) that I'm teetotal.
I'm not hurt. But I'm a little bit hmm when close relatives forget this.

emmeline7725 Fri 19-Dec-14 19:09:04

Someone at work today received a bag containing £5 worth of coppers with a note saying 'thought you could do with a change'! I think she was offended, I would have been.

tigermoll Fri 19-Dec-14 19:10:08

One year for SS my boss gave a co-worker a gift with a price tag of four quid on it, for a ten quid limit. FGS, take the label off - still can't believe she was management material smile

littlejohnnydory Fri 19-Dec-14 19:18:10

Can understand not wanting to receive something broken or dirty, that's hardly unreasonable but it's unreasonable to be offended by a second hand gift if it's in good condition. I buy second hand for my own children more often than not!

HiImBarryScott Fri 19-Dec-14 19:23:54

That's crap.

The rules in our office are that it must be under a tenner, novelty and preferably something to wear that will make the receiver look ridiculous. Breaks the ice and makes for some great photo opportunities! Although I'm not sure the bloke who got the belly dancing costume would agree.

maggiethemagpie Fri 19-Dec-14 19:25:45

My boss once gave me a bottle of champagne for Christmas. Nothing wrong with that you may think. Except I was seven months pregnant at the time!

DaisyFlowerChain Fri 19-Dec-14 19:26:24

Unless the office do a joke or funny secret Santa then second hand gifts really aren't appropriate. If you have a set budget and sign up then people should spend that as best as possible.

We have a limit but everyone gets something lovely and to their tastes, it makes for a much nicer secret santa and means we don't have to do individual gifts for everyone.

x2boys Fri 19-Dec-14 19:28:40

And this is why I don't do it any more I always made an effort but got crap back in return a colleague was once pissed off with an an out of date bottle of bucks fizz with a 1.99 price tag the limit was only £5 ffs .

Cabrinha Fri 19-Dec-14 19:28:48

Daisy, WHY isn't second hand appropriate?

evertonmint Fri 19-Dec-14 19:29:48

My DH received homemade brownies this year. Cheaper than the limit but so thoughtful, and delicious! Best SS he's ever had. There are definitely ways of doing it cheaply without appearing cheap...

brokenhearted55a Fri 19-Dec-14 19:29:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lunastarfish Fri 19-Dec-14 19:30:53

There was an infamous incident with my employer when someone have a half used fancy talc in secret Santa

DaisyFlowerChain Fri 19-Dec-14 19:32:35

Cabrinha, I just don't think something second hand is suitable for a christmas present. It looks cheap and shows no effort. Fine if that's the criteria for the secret santa but tacky if not.

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