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Keeping DS off nursery. WIBU and soft or did I do the right thing?

(25 Posts)
needaholidaynow Thu 18-Dec-14 11:51:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quitelikely Thu 18-Dec-14 11:54:53

It's your choice but if it was me I would have taken him unless there is a strong reason why you shouldn't.

Nursery is perceived as a beneficial place and should be encouraged.

The important thing here is to try to establish why he doesn't want to go.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Thu 18-Dec-14 11:58:52

I think a quiet day at home sounds like just the right thing for him. Yes, nursery is beneficial, but he isn't going to get the benefits if he is miserable and under the weather.

When my dses were little I used to notice that they got very tired and run down at the end of term, and the Christmas term is often quite a long one, and quite tiring, with all the extra Christmas stuff - plus it is cold and flu season.

Obviously you wouldn't have kept a well-but-grumpy child off school if he was in his GCSE or A level years, but at nursery age, he isn't going to miss out on anything so vital that missing it will blight his whole education.

needaholidaynow Thu 18-Dec-14 12:02:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wanttosqueezeyou Thu 18-Dec-14 12:04:16

I think you were absolutely right.

He's probably just tired and needs a break after a long term during which he's had a few bugs which have left him run down and grumpy.

'Three year old wants day at home with Mum' hardly unreasonable is it.
I'm sure he normally benefits from nursery but it doesn't sound like he would have done today.

RojaGato Thu 18-Dec-14 12:05:17

Poor mite. don;t think you are unreasonable. He's not really old enough yet to properly articulate everything that is going on with him, but that doesn't mean there isn't something

couple of things to consider re a possible underlying cause (sure this has occurred to you already but just in case):
1. Has he had a falling out with any other nursery children (esp if they were previously friends or are older)
2. Any chance there is some underlying physical ailment getting him down?

hope he feels better after a day at home.

wanttosqueezeyou Thu 18-Dec-14 12:05:27

"because I don't" sounds like a reasonable response from a 3 year old!

What were you expecting?!

Goingintohibernation Thu 18-Dec-14 12:05:29

YANBU. Nursery isn't compulsory, and he is still very young. Lots of children seem to be a bit run down by this time of year. I don't see the harm in letting him have a break.

Iggly Thu 18-Dec-14 12:06:03

He's 3 and will not be able to articulate why or why not he didn't want to go.

It isn't key to his development to be at nursery every single day.

You made the right call. Enjoy the Christmas break!

Aeroflotgirl Thu 18-Dec-14 12:06:11

I disagree Quite, he is only little, and has not been well, so though recovered physically, probably feels a bit tired, grotty. This is not school, nursery is not compulsory. In a lot of Countries they do not start school until the age of 7, when they are far more mature to deal with the rigours of the environment.

Iggly Thu 18-Dec-14 12:07:11

I will add - my dd is three and at preschool. She is very tired now as the Christmas break approaches so is not as happy going in. But today is her last day so not a big deal!

lapetitesiren Thu 18-Dec-14 12:07:24

3 is just a baby. Sometimes they just want to be with their mum. Let him stay home and try again tomorrow or after Christmas. Could you stay with him a few times until he feels confident again. Maybe if he stayed just a short time and then gradually extend the time until he's back to normal. Taking things gently will make him feel more confident in the long term.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 18-Dec-14 12:07:43

I think we expect too much from children who are so young. He is 3 not 13.

Iggly Thu 18-Dec-14 12:08:23

It's your choice but if it was me I would have taken him unless there is a strong reason why you shouldn't

^hmm to this. Seriously - he doesn't need to go and can stay with mum. Maybe he's brewing something.

Idontseeanysontarans Thu 18-Dec-14 12:10:23

YANBU. This term is hellishly tiring for children, especially very young ones. You made the right choice.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 18-Dec-14 12:13:17

My ds who is nearly 3 has not been himself in the last couple of weeks at pre school, he has had a cold that does not shift and is just tired and grotty. They just want a familiar environment and to snuggle on the sofa with mum or dad.

TheCowThatLaughs Thu 18-Dec-14 12:15:23

He might be coming down with something, you'll find out in the next couple of days!

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 18-Dec-14 12:19:27


It's end of term.they are snotty and shattered.

let dvds under the duvet and don't think any more about it.

Poor mite, hope he feels better soon

NurseRoscoe Thu 18-Dec-14 12:24:22

i would of done the same if it was a one off. However if it was constant I would be speaking to the teachers and to my child to find out why, in case he is being bullied or finding something difficult that I could help with.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Thu 18-Dec-14 12:27:45

Of course, Sod's Law says that, even as we speak, he is hurtling round the house, happy as Larry, with not a bother on him! But even if this is true, a day off won't harm his chances of going to Oxford or winning a Nobel prize - it won't have any impact at all on his GCSEs.

And he won't remember that mummy let him have a day off nursery because he was grumpy and under the weather - he isn't going to be using it as an excuse to blag a day off when he is in Year 11. Of course, he will be using other things as reasons to try to blag a day off in Year 11 - if I had a pound for every time ds3 has tried to convince me that it isn't worth sending him to school on the last day of term, because no-one else goes (really - you are the only child in school? O-kaaaayyyy hmm), and no-one does any work anyway - well, I wouldn't be rich, but I would have nearly a tenner!

Thurlow Thu 18-Dec-14 12:31:01

It seems like everyone is tired and grotty at the moment. All the kids I know are just a bit run down; DD hasn't entirely been herself for weeks. Thank god Christmas is coming and we can all have a break!

YANBU. If he's anything like the rest at the moment he's probably just worn out and wants to be with mum for a day. You know you're child best and if your gut says he genuinely doesn't want to go then keep him at home.

needaholidaynow Thu 18-Dec-14 12:42:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

needaholidaynow Thu 18-Dec-14 12:43:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlmaMartyr Thu 18-Dec-14 12:46:05

Sounds like you did exactly the right thing. I've kept both of my DCs off in similar circumstances before and it was always exactly what they needed. They're all so tired now at the end of the term, lots of them just need a break. Have a lovely day with your DS fsmile

JuniperTisane Thu 18-Dec-14 12:51:13

Poor little mite is exhausted and probably slightly below par if he keeps picking up minor viruses. It will do him the world of good to stay home now til next term. I would hope that whatever is bothering him fades away by the time he goes back and even if it hasn't he will be fresh from a nice break to get through it with the help of the nursery staff.

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