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To think having a big wedding on the Saturday before Christmas is a bit inconsiderate

(212 Posts)
Fallingovercliffs Wed 17-Dec-14 15:32:00

My SIL's close friend is getting married this Saturday and she was just saying to me that it's adding hugely to the stress of Christmas as they have to travel down early on Sat morning and stay over right in the middle of preparing for Christmas and trying to get all the last minute stuff done. She's also trying to fit in a hair appointment on Friday before the wedding although it's the day the kids break up from school and her little one's carol concert is that morning. Not going isn't really an option as they've been friends for years and the bride would be very hurt if she didn't go.

It just got me thinking. Isn't it a bit inconsiderate to hold a wedding so close to Christmas when most people are up to their eyes as it is. Yes I know people can refuse the invite, but that can cause bad feeling particularly if it's a close relative or long standing friend.

CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:36:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LurkingHusband Wed 17-Dec-14 15:37:09

Is this a subtle way to keep the guest numbers down ?

momb Wed 17-Dec-14 15:37:37

YABU, If they'd planned a big do and called it a Christmas party no-one woudl mind.

Aherdofmims Wed 17-Dec-14 15:37:54

Yabu. I am going to child free wedding this Sat and can't wait!

Even if not child free I thought a Christmas wedding was lovely idea.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard Wed 17-Dec-14 15:37:56

Not going is an option.

Invitation, not a summons...

A Christmas wedding sounds really lovely.

fsmile

PrincessOfChina Wed 17-Dec-14 15:38:21

I think I agree, unless all of your guests are local. DH's cousin got married the Friday before Christmas a few years ago. We had to drive for 3 hours to get there the day before, stay over two nights and travel home the day before Christmas Eve. It made everything very rushed.

A friend married at the start of December and it was lovely. Still Christmassy but not encroaching on actual Christmas.

Aherdofmims Wed 17-Dec-14 15:39:01

Also agree not going is always an option.

SwearySwearyQuiteContrary Wed 17-Dec-14 15:39:28

I think the idea of a Christmas wedding is terribly romantic and it would probably have been wonderful 30 years ago when most people lived within 10 miles of their nearest and dearest! Nowadays, with people scattered far and wide, I think it's a big ask of people to come to a Christmas or New Year wedding.

AMerryScot Wed 17-Dec-14 15:40:55

YABU - it's about them, not you.

WooWooOwl Wed 17-Dec-14 15:41:00

I can see the issue, but it don't think it's inconsiderate, I'd love to go to a Christmas wedding. And I think not going is an option, it's not going to create any more bad feeling than would already be there by someone who think is it's inconsiderate. Your SIL wanting her hair done the day before the wedding isn't really something a couple should have to consider.

Fallingovercliffs Wed 17-Dec-14 15:41:39

It's not always a practical option to 'not go' though. Presumably the bride's siblings can't really send their 'regrets' and it is also awkward for close friends to say they're too busy to attend.

RobbStarksBitch Wed 17-Dec-14 15:43:38

YANBU but I may be biased as I am in the same position. DP's cousin is getting married on Sunday. It's going to cost us a couple of hundred pounds without taking into consideration what we've spent on outfits etc for DP and I plus 2 Ds's and we never had the option of not going (small family, would cause massive fall out for MIL which I don't want).

The couple in question ARE very self absorbed though so I'm not surprised.

CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:43:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

isolemnlyswearthatimuptonogood Wed 17-Dec-14 15:45:59

I think yabu. People can get married whenever they want. If it bothers guests that much, they could just not go.

As an example, we got married late September and that didn't please everyone. In fact, one of my Aunts, who usually goes away at that time of year but hadn't got anything booked when she got the save the date or when she got the invitation, still rsvp'd a no 'just in case' they did book a holiday.

It's impossible to please everyone.

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall Wed 17-Dec-14 15:47:57

I used to work with someone who went to a wedding on Christmas day once.

AMerryScot Wed 17-Dec-14 15:47:57

I think you also need to ask yourself why your annual Chrsitmas arrangements are more important than a wedding.

madwomanbackintheattic Wed 17-Dec-14 15:48:03

A Christmas wedding would be lovely. And you'd know about it far enough in advance to plan how it would fit in. I don't think I would have bothered getting my hair done on the Friday, to be honest. Is that because she has been meaning to get it cut for ages but has left it until the last minute and can't put it off any longer? For weddings I think it's either the day of, or it doesn't matter when? Whatever they did to mine wouldn't last overnight...

It can be a really lovely part of the holiday season - and people still have time to travel on the Sunday if they have some distance to go to be 'home' for Christmas. I know a lot of people who have chosen to marry during a holiday period so that international guests can choose an extended holiday around the event if they wish. If it was on Christmas eve and they were inviting o'seas guests, that's a bit different, but this way the international guests still have time to get home if they want to.

How lovely! I bet the bridesmaids will be wearing beautiful red dresses. Any chance of a dusting of snow? Church bells obligatory...

Fallingovercliffs Wed 17-Dec-14 15:48:38

That's not really the same though isolemnly. Of course you're never going to get a date that suits everyone, but the Saturday before Christmas is a day when the vast majority of people have an awful lot on their plate.

And of course people can get married when they want to. But if they're expecting a large crowd to come to their wedding then surely they should take Christmas into account when choosing a date.

sunnyfrostyday Wed 17-Dec-14 15:49:02

We had this a few years ago. Very close family wedding, two days before christmas. 5 hour drive away.

School finished the day before, (and we were at work) and we didn't want to take the children out early, so ended up setting off at 5am, stayed the night of the wedding, and drove back down on christmas eve.

I felt a bit guilty at dreading the whole thing, but it was a major headache, took a huge amount of pre planning re: food shopping etc, and we were all completely shattered on christmas day.

I think people just don't think about these things when planning a wedding.

Fallingovercliffs Wed 17-Dec-14 15:49:59

Merry I do think people's annual Christmas arrangements are as important (or more important) to them as someone else's wedding. But that's not really the point.

HesterShaw Wed 17-Dec-14 15:50:11

My cousin had a Christmas wedding. It was wonderful.

People don't have to go.

EhricJinglingHisBallsOnHigh Wed 17-Dec-14 15:51:33

I agree with you. My friend was going to get married on 27 dec last year. It would have been a real pain as I always go to my family until the 28th or 29th and really didn't want to come back earlier. Thankfully she did it a couple of months later.

sunnyfrostyday Wed 17-Dec-14 15:52:05

You often do have to go, though. You can't miss a sibling's wedding.

CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:52:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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