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SIL wants me to tutor my nephew

(44 Posts)
CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:01:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skylark2 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:06:41

YANBU. If she wants to home educate him then she will need to do it. Not you.

Unless she's offering a decent rate of pay and you want the money.

kittycatz Wed 17-Dec-14 15:08:20

I wouldn't commit to every week. The PGCE year is a hard year and gets more demanding as time goes on with each additional placement. This is followed by the NQT year which is also a difficult year.
I can't imagine you having time to plan for him and tutor him at a suitable time. You will be in school all day until late and have loads of work to do in the evening.
You know all this already. You don't need someone random person on mumsnet to tell you.
Just say it won't be possible to tutor him every week during your PGCE and NQT years because you don't have enough time.

capsium Wed 17-Dec-14 15:09:08

I would have no qualms about saying no if you can't fit it in. Say what you've said here, if you want to explain, your course is demanding.

If you do help out a bit though, you may find the experience useful. Do you have to do a child study? You could perhaps combine the two.

twentyten Wed 17-Dec-14 15:09:45

Agree. If this is a professional arrangement- or suggest she finds someone else via agency etc?? If she is homeschooling suggest she does the research herself! Suggest some resources? smile

CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:10:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggerLillies Wed 17-Dec-14 15:10:57

Of course she can choose how he is to be educated, but her choice doesn't extend to making you be the tutor.
To be honest I'd set clear boundaries now, as 'help out occasionally' could quickly become something hard to get out of.
Just say 'that's really kind kind of you to ask me first, sadly I can't commit to helping as I wouldn't be able to do the job as well as you deserve etc'. You could always offer to help find a tutor, if you have the right contacts?
She should find some homeschooling contacts as well, such as education otherwise.

MsMarvel Wed 17-Dec-14 15:11:01

I don't think am hour a week is too much. It can be done with minimal prep, get a workbook or a course outline and work through that.

But this is on the assumption that you would be paid the going rate for tutoring. If she's expecting it for free then she is being very unreasonable.

CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:12:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSquirrel Wed 17-Dec-14 15:13:26

YANBU it's ok for her to ask, but it's equally ok for you to say no. If you are in the middle of a PGCE, you must be very busy. Helping out out from time to time seems generous to me.

CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:13:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fanfeckintastic Wed 17-Dec-14 15:13:53

God I'd be annoyed with someone asking me to do anything once a week. I just wouldn't have the time. Madness, YANBU

Finola1step Wed 17-Dec-14 15:14:11

Just tell her that as you are in your PGCE year, you won't be able to help out. Plus next year will be difficult as you will be an NQT. But that you're happy to search out some decent websites for her (should take you half an hour tops).

Johnogroats Wed 17-Dec-14 15:17:06

I don't know anything about home ed, but I am surprised that assuming his educational needs are being met at home, that a 5yo needs a tutor.

Is this a fair comment? Does she know much about the process?

WooWooOwl Wed 17-Dec-14 15:20:44

If she hasn't even offered to pay you, then you don't have to take her request seriously. She wants to take the piss, not set up a tutoring arrangement.

CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:21:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monkeytroubles Wed 17-Dec-14 15:21:58

I would say that you are happy to help out now and again but that you can't commit to regular weekly sessions due to your PGCE placement hours, assignments etc. It's better to be upfront with her now rather than making a commitment you can't stick to and letting her down later.

BertieBotts Wed 17-Dec-14 15:23:06

So she wants to send him to school then grin

CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:28:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dustarr73 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:29:55

Just tell her no,if she wants to home tutor let her.Otherwise i have a feeling your being drafted as the "teacher".

Aeroflotgirl Wed 17-Dec-14 15:35:48

Just say no you do not have the experience of resources to tutor your nephew, you are just very busy.

BertieBotts Wed 17-Dec-14 15:41:20

I just find it so ridiculous. I love the idea of HE, would love to do it if I wasn't so shit but if I did, it wouldn't LOOK anything like school or involve tutors and assessments and stuff. I mean, surely that's the whole point? Schools aren't anywhere near as bad as some people think they are, anyway. There is a LOT of scope for creativity in primary school.

mameulah Wed 17-Dec-14 15:43:50

You have more than enough to do. Unless she is going to swap you an hour of tutoring for an hour of ironing or seven home cooked meals then definitely say no. Not to say you can't recommend her texts, reading or resources though.

I am a qualified teacher and would never agree to this. Definitely say no, you are going to be sooo busy.

CovetingAFiat500 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:45:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EhricJinglingHisBallsOnHigh Wed 17-Dec-14 15:45:58

My friends who have done PGCEs have worked incredibly long hours in their nqt year. You just won't have time for this.

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