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I don't want to kiss my mil (shudder)

(47 Posts)
MrsPatrickDempsey Tue 16-Dec-14 22:13:56

Ok - long story short. Been with DH for 27 yrs and have tolerated a strained relationship with mil. He is one of four and me and my two children have always been obviously treated less favourably (think babysitting, inequality with Xmas gifts, free holidays to the other siblings and not us etc). None of this is massively important to me but the children are now becoming aware of it. She is opinionated, judgmental, insincere and generally disinterested and misunderstanding of us. When DH has tried to raise issues with her she cries and blames us for things.

So we have been invited to SILs on Boxing Day - MIL will be there. My first reaction was to boycott but a) feel I need to set a bit of an example to my kids 2) don't really want to spend the day alone and c) don't really want to sink to her level! I am apprehensive about the day but will bite my tongue and nod and smile. But she always insists on this gross kissy huggy embrace when we meet. I know it is childish and ridiculous but it fills me with dread and repulsion and I don't know how to avoid it. Suggestions please....

HindsightisaMarvellousThing Tue 16-Dec-14 22:15:42

Say "No I won't hug you I think I've a cold coming on"

Have your arms full when you meet so you can't hug her?

HindsightisaMarvellousThing Tue 16-Dec-14 22:16:27

Meant to say that I'm not a fan of hugs anyway, and certainly not when it is someone I don't like.

Hassled Tue 16-Dec-14 22:16:41

You have a dreadful cold and would hate for her to catch it. Say it loudly as she approaches.

GingerbreadPudding Tue 16-Dec-14 22:18:52

Yup, I hate this too. Grow unfeasibly large breasts so she can't actually get close enough? It's really hard. My dad always kisses on the lips, ugh. I haven't the heart to tell him I hate it.

lemisscared Tue 16-Dec-14 22:19:11

Gin. Plenty of gin

DoubleValiumLattePlease Tue 16-Dec-14 22:19:56

I'd make it something worse than a cold - she might play the martyr and pretend she doesn't mind! Cooties maybe? Dengue fever? Scabies? Might as well make it worth your while!

MrsPatrickDempsey Tue 16-Dec-14 22:21:41


Frogme Tue 16-Dec-14 22:22:41

Buy a cactus as a present and don't put it down until it is safe.

Bunbaker Tue 16-Dec-14 22:22:57

How good are you with stage make up? Could you fabricate some cold sores?

Inkspellme Tue 16-Dec-14 22:24:10

How about "Is that a cold sore I see on your lip MIL? better not hug or kiss you just in case!".

seriously though, I would sniff a bit and say I had a cold and don't want to pass it on.

DoubleValiumLattePlease Tue 16-Dec-14 22:25:27

Ebola would probably empty the whole room - although you might quite like that! Cold sore is good. Use lipstick as eyeliner - you will look nearly dead!

hellodave Tue 16-Dec-14 22:26:26

Ooooo file does this. I'm not a hugger. Marking my place

hellodave Tue 16-Dec-14 22:27:08

That should be FIL not file

TheDietStartsTomorrow Tue 16-Dec-14 22:31:35

Wear a studded vest while carrying the cactus. You'll have your hands full and be completely unhuggable through the studs. Or maybe try an inflatable onesie.

NoelleHawthorne Tue 16-Dec-14 22:32:42

Did you know disinterested means impartial? I didn't.

WerewolfBarMitzvah Tue 16-Dec-14 22:36:22

Feign the runs as you arrive, run to the loo, MN for 20 mins, wipe head with water for added authenticity then emerge and ask for a gin to settle the stomach. Repeat as necessary. grin

loveableshoulder Tue 16-Dec-14 22:39:32

Grandpa IL, in his late 90s, used to kiss me on the lips. He is lovely but it made me feel sick, esp as he always has dribble on his chin [boak].

These days I get in there first and offer my check. It's tolerable. Could you do the same?

Haushinka Tue 16-Dec-14 22:40:43

YANBU. Sounds like it's all for show. I'd hold something and just smile and say hi.

Hate people hugging and kissing me.Maybe I tense up, but people always end up missing my cheek or kissing my hair. Ha, probably is my awkwardness come to think of it.

mrsfuzzy Wed 17-Dec-14 01:23:32

i don't kiss my dm [not very close so has never felt right] let alone anyone else, lips for dh/dp, cheek kiss everyone else, lips are a BIG NO NO ! ugh!!

Karasea Wed 17-Dec-14 01:40:09

Get her on the back foot and grab her, smacked on the check and quick waltz roun the hall. End with an elbow in the ribs and raucous laughter- she will be grateful to be ignored next time

Karasea Wed 17-Dec-14 01:40:46

Ha smacker on the cheek though maybe just smack her I suppose

mrsfuzzy Wed 17-Dec-14 01:41:36

loving this one karasea, totally brilliant !

HopeClearwater Wed 17-Dec-14 01:51:17

Karasea has the solution!

AcrossthePond55 Wed 17-Dec-14 03:35:22

Garlic, onions, then step towards her and exhale.

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