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To not allow my mums dog in my house

(57 Posts)
Pigriver Mon 15-Dec-14 20:38:32

I have invited my parents and DB, SIL and niece to visit next weekend to have a meet up before Xmas. I live 70 miles away and won't be visiting until Boxing Day. The visit was suggested by DB and SIL as they would like to do some shopping and visit the German markets and then they are invited back to our home for a late lunch, mulled wine and mince pies etc.
My mum is now saying she won't leave her dog at home (a friend has offered to look after him for the day) and she will either sit in my house alone whilst we go into town or not come at all.
I have just bought a new sofa and she will not stop him jumping up. He recently went to my DBs house and scent marked in every room.

AIBU to stand firm and say no? This bloody dog seems to scupper any plans we ever try to organise!

Pigriver Mon 15-Dec-14 20:39:09

*this weekend not next!

MehsMum Mon 15-Dec-14 20:40:25

Dogs that wee on the floor scent mark shouldn't be taken to other people's houses.
YANBU (and I love dogs... most of them).

Santaslittleblowupdoll Mon 15-Dec-14 20:41:16

Stand firm. I had murders with my carpet and fils dog. Don't be swayed by guilt trips. It will be you cleaning pissy/dog smell off your furniture when she has gone.

Santaslittleblowupdoll Mon 15-Dec-14 20:42:42

Also my nans dog gets treated like a baby. A staffy. She can only be out the house from 9-12.30am because 'the dog will be crossing her legs' apparently hmm

Oldraver Mon 15-Dec-14 20:43:04

If she fails to train the dog not to misbehave piss all around then she forfeits the right to bring him, consequences and all that

MinceSpy Mon 15-Dec-14 20:43:39

That dog shouldn't be allowed in anyone's house. DM and dog stay at home.

YellowTulips Mon 15-Dec-14 20:45:05

I can't stand the smell of dogs and they irritate my chronic skin condition.

So quite frankly I won't visit a house with dogs and I won't have them in mine *

If your mum would rather spend the day at home with her dog then I would let her do so - can't understand her priorities though.

* yes I know I'm a bit extreme but hey ho and all that smile

campingfilth Mon 15-Dec-14 20:46:04

I was going to say YABU before I read the whole OP but no you definitely not BU. I can't stand animals that piss indoors, shows they are badly trained and I'm sure I read somewhere that animals that piss inside are unhappy.

Just leave her to be antisocial on her own in her own house! I've a dog and a cat and I wouldn't dream of bringing them other peoples houses unless they said to bring him.

EndoplasmicReticulum Mon 15-Dec-14 20:46:30

Oh no. Dog does not come in your house. Your mum can then decide whether to come without it or to stay at home with it.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Mon 15-Dec-14 20:49:01

I once, a long time ago, told my mother her indoor-shitting dog was no longer allowed in my house as an overnight guest.

It virtually caused WW3 along with screams of "then I won't look after your children any more"

We went NC for a while after that one smile

dwarfrabbit Mon 15-Dec-14 20:50:23

dog in kitchen, if you can close the door. then you can wash the floor if it pees ( or your mum can!) as it would be a shame not to have your mum there if she's so attached to her dog. For a lot of older women, whose kids have grown up, dogs are the new babies and we have to respect that - even if we see them as flea ridden filthy nuisances. Just giving a different perspective for you to mull over with your mulled wine.

ArchangelGallic Mon 15-Dec-14 20:51:08

Yanbu.
I wouldn't have any dog in my house either, no matter how well behaved it might be.

Pigriver Mon 15-Dec-14 20:51:35

Thanks!
I now have to break this to her and I know I will be made to seem ridiculous. She actually complained on my wedding day that her precious dog wasn't allowed to come and how unfair it was.
She actually rings my DB to come round for an hour while she goes to the shops. I think she just likes the extra leverage it gives her to get her own way but I can really see it impacting on family life.
I am actually scared that when I have a baby she won't visit as I won't allow the dog to come sad.

YellowTulips Mon 15-Dec-14 20:54:31

Rabbit - if the dog is that important she should train it not to piss everywhere and wreck other people's homes.

Andrewofgg Mon 15-Dec-14 20:59:55

If you don't want the dog near any baby you have - and that's your call - you have to get her used to leaving it behind now and this is a good time to start.

Didactylos Mon 15-Dec-14 21:01:50

it makes me think of this short story
put your foot down firmly

Pigriver Mon 15-Dec-14 21:13:10

The thing is I don't mind dogs at all. We have looked after my DHs mums dog for the last 3 days. She is well behaved, doesn't jump, pees outside and is not allowed on the furniture (and listens!).
It is just her dog I have issues with. Last time I was at her house it jumped up at me and ran from sofa to sofa leaping across people. It jumped on the chair onto my knee and snapped at my face. I was told 'he's alright. Leave him alone'.
There and then I told her it was unacceptable for a guest in her house to have to put up with that kind of behaviour.
Sadly I know she will choose the dog over coming to visit me or any children I have in the future....

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Mon 15-Dec-14 21:16:50

I would consider that a result

riverboat1 Mon 15-Dec-14 21:19:18

If it was just the sofa I'd suggest covering it up with blankets for the day, but the peeing everywhere thing is ridiculous. YANBU, definitely not.

YellowTulips Mon 15-Dec-14 21:21:03

Really? She'd rather stay with her dog that visit a grandchild - utter madness.

If that's true then I'd probably say your better off without someone with such shitty priorities around you

MsVestibule Mon 15-Dec-14 21:26:17

I like dogs, but hate being around badly behaved dogs where their owners do nothing to check them. (I feel much the same way about children.)

Stand your ground. You set the rules for your house and if your mother prioritises her dog over seeing any future grandchildren regularly, she's quite mad.

MaryWestmacott Mon 15-Dec-14 21:29:12

If your mother won't train the dog, then you'll have to train your mother - including "we won't work round the dog, so you will miss out". She's chosing this, she has a friend who'll look after the dog for the day, so she is chosing not to come if she can't control everything.

YellowTulips Mon 15-Dec-14 21:37:19

I really don't get this sense of entitlement some dog owners have tbh.

Up to to you if you want to live in a piss stained, rank smelling hovel but why there is a sense of righteousness that you get to impose that on others (usually with a martyred air of injustice) is beyond me.

Pigriver Mon 15-Dec-14 21:49:31

yellowtulips that is exactly what I think!
I was saying to my DH 'who do this? Who takes a dog to someone else's house?!' In utter disbelief.

As you can probably tell, the relationship I have with my mum isn't the best! I was worried I was sounding like a stubborn child who was jealous of a dog. It is upsetting that she would choose a dog over her family but she has always been very controlling.
My SiL is trying to smooth the way as she lives near my mum and that are travelling together but I imagine I will have to ring and have it out with her tomorrow.

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