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To think if DH can't get home before 7pm, he should stay out until 8?

(124 Posts)
NeopreneMermaid Mon 15-Dec-14 19:32:44

Every fucking night. I spend half an hour settling DCs (2 and 4) and then he gets home about five minutes later and they don't settle for up to another hour because he's playing with them/they're just excited to see him. Sometimes it's nearly 9pm before they're asleep and then knackered in the morning.

I've twice said if he can't get home before 7, don't come home before 8 (so they're asleep) but he doesn't seem to think I was serious or how fucking annoying this is. angry

usualsuspectsparkly3 Mon 15-Dec-14 19:35:18

I think YABU. Can't you ask him to do the bedtime thing, so he gets to see them.

Stillwishihadabs Mon 15-Dec-14 19:36:58

So what you do is when he comes in kiss the angels , go down stairs and relax let him sort it out.

arethereanyleftatall Mon 15-Dec-14 19:37:06

As long as he is the one to get them back to sleep after he has got them excited, I wouldn't ask him not to see his kids.

LonelyThisChristmas28 Mon 15-Dec-14 19:37:06


NeopreneMermaid Mon 15-Dec-14 19:37:16

I'd love to but he works full time and I work part time (finishing early so I can pick them up). He used to get home in time to put them to bed but it's gradually got later and later.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 15-Dec-14 19:38:29

I then also have to deal with "I'm tiiiired" tantrums in the morning because they aren't getting enough sleep.

Happypiglet Mon 15-Dec-14 19:38:53

Ah... my DH is a bit like this... they are all sleepy/ reading in bed quietly (mine are older) and DH 'just goes to say goodnight' and then next I know hilarity/ a NERF gun fight/ crying is in full progress..... its annoying I agree. Luckily for me DH only does this prob once a week.
I have no answers sorry. Only sympathy.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 15-Dec-14 19:40:34

AreThereAny, I do leave him to it (pointedly) but we then don't get to sit down together to eat until nearly 9. He works at home in the evenings (as do I) so he could just get home, say, 20 minutes earlier and see them BEFORE they're in bed.

YonicSleighdriver Mon 15-Dec-14 19:41:45


ThePrincessWhoSatOnTheSprout Mon 15-Dec-14 19:41:48

YANU at all! When DS was small (under 4), if DH was home at DS's tea-time, I would make DH wait outside (on the drive) until DS had finished his tea. I used to send DH a text saying he could come in now! Otherwise DS would have been so excited he wouldn't have eaten anything. It worked well. Though sometimes DH got a bit huffy if he was outside for more than 15 minutes or if it were raining!

Ragglefrock Mon 15-Dec-14 19:43:02

YANBU - if he doesn't like it then he needs to either come in very quietly/sort some strategies to keep the children calm or like you say, come home earlier.

arethereanyleftatall Mon 15-Dec-14 19:46:47

Have you told him this?

arethereanyleftatall Mon 15-Dec-14 19:47:31

Whoops, you have, twice, sorry!

usualsuspectsparkly3 Mon 15-Dec-14 19:48:44

You made your DH wait outside?

Bloody hell.

NCIS Mon 15-Dec-14 19:50:09

This is why I used start to put mine to bed at 6.00pm, people used to think I was mad but at least there was a chance of them being sound asleep by the time DH came in at 7.30 otherwise they were hyped up and not asleep before 9 leading to an awful day the next day as they were overtired.


findingherfeet Mon 15-Dec-14 19:50:18

Not unreasonable at all! Do it! My husband frequently arrives at an irritating time but the inevitable tantrums and wails from our DD (3) who just wants to play one more gaaaaaaame pleeeeeaaase nooooowwww has actually scared him off a bit, he really does avoid 7pm....645 great 715 great.

arethereanyleftatall Mon 15-Dec-14 19:50:58

Ok, assuming he can't get home any earlier, and assuming he wants to see his kids before they go to bed - I wouldn't eat dinner together, I'd eat mine as soon as he gets in. Or can you adjust your morning schedule? Fir example I can hear my 4 yr old singing away in bed at the mo, and she will be till 9. But then she doesn't wake up till 8.15, but we've got speedy breakfast and school run down to a fine art.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 15-Dec-14 19:51:14

No, of course I didn't bloody make him wait outside. I suggested he stay at work longer and then work less once he gets home. Same amount of work gets done (and in less time because there isn't the hour - long interval of resettling the children).

Mrsjayy Mon 15-Dec-14 19:51:17

Yabu let them stay up till he comes in have your dinner with the children put his in the microwave and chill out if he stayed out till 8 he would never seem them how is that fair

NeopreneMermaid Mon 15-Dec-14 19:51:42

No, of course I didn't bloody make him wait outside. I suggested he stay at work longer and then work less once he gets home. Same amount of work gets done (and in less time because there isn't the hour - long interval of resettling the children).

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually Mon 15-Dec-14 19:52:29

Fucking hell, can you imagine if a woman posted here saying her DH or DP wouldn't let her see the DC at bedtime as it over excited them, or made her wait on the drive until he'd texted her to give permission to come in?!


usualsuspectsparkly3 Mon 15-Dec-14 19:55:46

I was replying to ThePrincesses post.

Keep your hair on.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 15-Dec-14 19:56:50

MrsJay, that would be ok if he came home at the same time each night but he doesn't. He's notoriously bad at time-keeping, always late for everything and if he says he'll be home at Xpm or is leaving work in five minutes, you can generally add an hour and a half to that.

As flaws go, it's not a biggie (not posting in Relationships) and he is actually a completely brilliant human being but, my God, this boils my piss.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 15-Dec-14 19:57:36

Sorry, Usual.thanks

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