I am a SAHM/Carer and have been for 14 yrs. As a result of this, I have always done all the housework, shopping, cooking, finances, admin and general running around after everyone.
DD has been very poorly for the last 2 weeks which means that I have rarely been out of the house. She has needed 24/7 care so I have had little sleep as she requires a treatment regime to try and get her well. Consequently, lots of other jobs have slipped and I have had little help from DH with any of these tasks. Have had to ask him to do specific things such as drop off DDs repeat prescription and then specifically ask him to go and pick the medicines up on another day. He knows I am not in a position to do this, nor do i have anyone else to ask. I had a bit of a go last week about him not offering to do anything to help me out or asking if there was anything I needed him to get whilst he was out in the day. His response was that if I want something, I should just ask! At the weekend, I found him doing stuff on his laptop (has form for spending too much time on Facebook/Twitter) but he claimed it was stuff to do with him voluntary work. I said that the house hadn't been hoovered all week and perhaps he could do that (I hadn't been able to as need to be able to hear DD at all times). He did it, then went back to his computer.
It has all come to a head again this morning as once again I am stuck at home all day looking after DD. He had booked half a day off to do something to do with his voluntary position, but the thing was not going ahead so he announced he would be at work all day. And, he would be late home as he was going to the gym as he usually does on a Monday. There was a pile of Christmas cards on the side, all stamped and addressed which he can't have missed so as he's about to walk out, I make a comment about posting the cards (he passes the post box on his way out of our village) There were also some cheques that need paying in, so I asked him if he could pop to the bank at lunchtime. He said no as he didn't have time. Now I know he gets a lunchbreak, which he takes and I know his diary isn't full, as he was supposed to only be doing a half day today so I was not pleased and told him so, but he just walked out.
I am fuming at how unhelpful and unsupportive he is being , probably fuelled by my lack of sleep, stress of DD being ill and everything relating to that, plus the fact that DH still thinks he can carry on going to the gym and his voluntary work when I have had to cancel all my voluntary work and gym sessions for the last 2 weeks.
So wise MNetters, do you agree that DH is being selfish and unhelpful and if so what do I do to change his attitude short of walking out of the door and leaving them all to it
I am also prepared to be told IABU and to shut up and get on with it - as I have already been told that by DH, so it won't be a great shock
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AIBU?
AIBU or is DH being incredibly selfish and unhelpful
13 replies
offtoseethewizard64 · 15/12/2014 13:36
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