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Aibu to think 18 year olds are adults and should act as so

(54 Posts)
Mumofasdteen Sun 14-Dec-14 23:42:18

Dn is 18 and her mum is still getting her up for college and makeing her lunch. She rarely Helps out her mother. She also dose not have a job.

OldLadyKnows Sun 14-Dec-14 23:44:01

And this concerns you because... ???

I still wake DS1 up for work as I'm getting up fpr work... he's 21. If he is around at food times I cook for him. He's an adult , but he's still my son, so why wouldn't I?

Works for us...

53Dragon Sun 14-Dec-14 23:54:28

Wow... keep your nose out. YABVU

zaracharlotte Sun 14-Dec-14 23:55:58

She also dose not have a job.

She's not on the dole though, she's a full time college student.

I don't really know why this bothers you. She'll move out eventually. A large number of parents support their children up until 21/22 when the degree is under their belt and they can afford to make a go of life on their own.

Oakmaiden Sun 14-Dec-14 23:57:00

I think at 18 they are very borderline adults. I think real maturity doesn't kick in for quite some time after that...

Pantone363 Sun 14-Dec-14 23:57:09

OP I'm a mature student at uni.

If you think that's bad you should see some of the 18 yr olds there. Mums driving down every week with food. Can't read bus timetables. Can't budget (one girl asked me if £800 would last her two mths but had no idea what her outgoings were). Vomit everywhere on a Monday morning. Phoning parents to do everything for them (email lecturers, make GP appts, wash clothes!)

cricketballs Mon 15-Dec-14 00:03:25

My view (as someone who when DS is home from uni still 'mothers' him) is that we as a society have not allowed our DC to grow up as we used to do as we don't allow them to gain independence

DixieNormas Mon 15-Dec-14 00:09:43

I still give my 19 year old a shout in the morning and make him lunch most of the time. Doesn't seem to have done him any harm.

SoonToBeSix Mon 15-Dec-14 00:11:01

My dd will have only just started sixth form age 18. I wouldn't expect her to have a job and I expect to still be doing her washing etc.
Do you have unresolved childhood issues op? You sound quite bitter.

ClumsyFool Mon 15-Dec-14 00:15:22

I don't see what's wrong with waking someone up if you're up anyway. It's just helping someone out. Also if the mum is happy to make up lunch and not being expected to do it because daughter couldn't possibly do it herself then what's the issue?

My husband and I recently had to stay with my parents for a couple of weeks while having work done. I'm up v early for work and my dad, after years of shift work is often up ridiculously early too, so if he was up he'd make me a coffee and some toast while I got ready bless him. I missed it when we moved back home though! Even when living at home my mum would always offer to make me some lunch for work when doing hers and my dad's. Sometimes I'd have something sorted, but if not I was always appreciative of it.

It's up to them what they do and what their routines are though and if it works for them and daughter helps out at home in other ways then what's the problem?

Gruntfuttock Mon 15-Dec-14 00:28:18

OP, it's absolutely fine if adults do things for each other you know.

PedlarsSpanner Mon 15-Dec-14 01:07:37

OP you start loads of threads about teenagers and sunburn

V odd

Tsoukalosy Mon 15-Dec-14 01:13:42

Op you would hate me, im 23 and my Dm still does this for me.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 15-Dec-14 01:15:38

does it make me a failure because my husband cooks for me.

the parents are being supportive of their child, tbh while my children are in education then i will make sure its as easy as possible for them, they both have a life time of housework and responsibilities and while at home i will make it as easy as possible for them.

MrsCakesPrecognition Mon 15-Dec-14 01:19:04

Do you know that teenagers' brains do not finish developing until their twenties? It's why they perceive things differently to adults.

Tsoukalosy Mon 15-Dec-14 01:22:24

Well there you go, I'm still a teenager wink grin

I moved out at 16, wish I'd been babied and looked after for a few more years though tbh. You're an adult a long time, being looked after for a little longer is nice if you have that sort of relationship.

YuleStoryBro Mon 15-Dec-14 01:27:39

I wake everybody up and make their lunches, regardless as to whether they're 10 or 110. If anything, shouldn't it be weirder that I do this for DH too, seeing as I didn't even give birth to him?!

DixieNormas Mon 15-Dec-14 01:30:34

My 19 year old isnt even in education, hes working but while im making lunch for/waking up his younger brothers why wouldnt I do the same for him

Babiecakes11 Mon 15-Dec-14 01:37:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tsoukalosy Mon 15-Dec-14 01:39:01

Babie that sounds really sweet!

crumblebumblebee Mon 15-Dec-14 08:58:54

YABU. You don't suddenly become an adult on the day of your 18th birthday. It's a prpcess and some people need more time and support than others.

wheresthelight Mon 15-Dec-14 09:03:23

different strokes and all that!

by age 11 I was getting myself uo, dressed, lunch made and off to school and then coming home to clean the house make dinner and homework as my parents both worked long hours.

my sister at 19 had no idea how to cook as no one had made her learn. She lived off microwave meals at university.

yanbu to be gobsmacked but really it isn't any of your business

MinceSpy Mon 15-Dec-14 09:03:38

Their family, their business.

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