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Was I unreasonable... to 'steal' a comprising photo of my child ....

(158 Posts)
slanleat Sun 14-Dec-14 17:26:32

... even if that child is now an adult of 24?!

We were at my DH's family christmas party last night and it had been suggested that they all bring any old family photos they had along to view and bring back some memories. We arrived in and one of the first things that happened was one of my BIL's came up to me with a photo of a small nude boy child and made a joke about 'has it gotten any bigger over the years'. I actually initally thought it was a photo of BIL.

It was in fact a photo taken of my DS when I was in the hospital after having my DD1. And when looking through the other photos I came across another nude photo of him taken at the same time. My DH is in both of the photos. DS is eating, DH having a cuppa and toast... DS was 2yrs3mths. And I will say straight out that there is clearly nothing sexual about them, but its also not the type of photo I took of my kids.

I would often let them have 'nudey time' after baths etc but would never have thought to take a camera out for it.

So I took the two photos and put them into my handbag, with my DS's knowledge. His partner was at the party too, and she agreed with me that she thought it was 'creapy' that they were passing the photos around.

My DH seems to think it was unreasonable and I was stealing someone else's photos/property. I just said well its my child and I want the pictures. Must have been fairly strongly worded too, cause he left it at that.

But what do you think ... was I out of order?

slanleat Sun 14-Dec-14 17:28:34


SunnaClausIsComingToTown Sun 14-Dec-14 17:28:54

You stole someone's photos. Of course YABU.

BIWI Sun 14-Dec-14 17:30:19


YABVVVU - those photos are not your property, regardless of the fact they were of your son.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 14-Dec-14 17:31:03

Yes you were unreasonable and bloody cheeky at that.

BackOnlyBriefly Sun 14-Dec-14 17:31:08

YABU and yes theft.

and there's nothing compromising about a baby pic.

TheBoysMamma Sun 14-Dec-14 17:31:13


gamerchick Sun 14-Dec-14 17:31:50

I would be taking naked photos of my kids off people as well. Except I wouldn't steal them I would be upfront about it.

MissPenelopeLumawoo2 Sun 14-Dec-14 17:31:57

I think YABU yes, they were not your photos!

Canyouforgiveher Sun 14-Dec-14 17:32:02

I'd have done the same. Your BIL won't care either. Why would he?

Ohmygrood Sun 14-Dec-14 17:32:36

Who did they belong to?

Flissypix Sun 14-Dec-14 17:32:57

I would have done the same thing! Or at least hidden them I am always baffled by nude pictures of children that are put up at 18th/21st etc it is creepy.
My best friend had a terribly unflattering photo of me up in her living room and I accidentally knocked it behind a large piece of furniture.

HerrenaHarridan Sun 14-Dec-14 17:33:03

You confiscated naked photos of your child. You told them you were doing it no sneaking involved.


LindyHemming Sun 14-Dec-14 17:33:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohmygrood Sun 14-Dec-14 17:33:39

How did ds feel about them?

ButEmilylovedhim Sun 14-Dec-14 17:33:42

I would have taken them too.

AlfAlf Sun 14-Dec-14 17:33:45

YANBU. Especially as it was being passed around the way it was, with your BIL making digs about ds's genitalia. Very inappropriate to discuss a child that way. I know he's not a child now, but he was in the photo and that's what was being discussed. Your dh and BIL clearly don't see it that way, but I wonder if they'd be so happy if it was a photo of a little girl?

fluffyraggies Sun 14-Dec-14 17:34:19

It's not clear if your DH is your son's father.

I'm not sure it makes a difference - just trying to get my head round the family dynamics.

Your DHs parents have a photo of their DGS naked.

He is now an adult. Both he and his partner were pleased you took the photos.

On the fence here. But if pushed, i think .... YWNBU.

lanbro Sun 14-Dec-14 17:34:21

I think it's sad that you think the photos are compromising. My almost 3yo is going through an undressing stage so on an evening she often has some naked play. I take photos of cute things she does the same as I would if she was clothed. The only difference is I never put nudey photos on fb but do share them with the gps if they're amusing.


TheBoysMamma Sun 14-Dec-14 17:34:30

I'm saying yanbu because of the "has it gotten any bigger comment"
I wouldn't allow anyone to take nude photos of my child and wouldnt be happy with them being ridiculed like that. Maybe an over reaction but he's your son

feelingunsupported Sun 14-Dec-14 17:35:55

Was your adult son bothered? Once he's an adult it's no longer your position to decide whether a picture of him is appropriate or not tbh.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard Sun 14-Dec-14 17:36:44

I'd have done the same.

Having naked photos of someone else's child crosses a line.

If they were naked photos of an adult which were confiscated everyone would say you were fine to take them away.

Branleuse Sun 14-Dec-14 17:39:07

yanbu. they were your son and your family were attempting to use them in a humiliating way which is completely inappropriate and weird. I would have been furious

mytartanscarf Sun 14-Dec-14 17:39:48


I do NOT like naked pictures of children.

If other people feel differently then they can take them of their child.

I would certainly have done the same as the op.

kateclarke Sun 14-Dec-14 17:40:19

I would have done the same too. For the people who don't agree, how would you feel if someone had a nude photo of you that you didn't want them to have?

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