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to not do 'boys' and 'girls' party bags?

(77 Posts)
QueenofKelsingra Sun 14-Dec-14 15:06:19

DS's birthday is coming up. He will be 5 and the theme is dinosaurs. do I need to do 'boys' party bags (dinosaurs) and 'girls' party bags - I guess pink crap Frozen or similar?

Most parties DS has been too have ended with a large cone of sweets, the only one who did party bags did boys and girls, but not on a theme as such, the usual plastic tat small toys and sweets.

The only food item I include is a slice of cake (me and excessive sweets at parties is a whole other thread). will be putting in a balloon and some bubbles also. i was thinking of some stickers and possibly a 'decorate your own dino' kit.

WIBU to do dino bags for all? or should i conform to gender expectations and do a princess/fairy version for the girls? i don't know the kids well enough to know which boys might prefer fairies and which girls dinos so it needs to be all dinos or a boy girl split.

thoughts?

slightlyworriednc Sun 14-Dec-14 15:07:26

Dino bags for all!

TimelyNameChangey Sun 14-Dec-14 15:07:57

YANBU my DD would be very happy with that bag.

JavelinArse Sun 14-Dec-14 15:08:28

All dinosaurs!

Szeli Sun 14-Dec-14 15:08:51

all dinos. we did that for ds birthday and i have never known gender split bags either

arethereanyleftatall Sun 14-Dec-14 15:09:13

It's up to you, but I have two girls and they would be upset to get a dinosaur in their party bag. A bit like how most boys would feel at getting a fairy.

LePetitMarseillais Sun 14-Dec-14 15:10:19

Dino bags for all.

My dtwins had a dino fourth party and we did excavating for stretchy dinosaurs in a sand pit with paintbrushes and a dino sweet piñata which were the take home items for all.

V successful.

matchingmoll Sun 14-Dec-14 15:10:27

Please don't do a bag with fairies for girls! Dinosaurs for all. It sends so many horrible messages to do dinosaurs for boys and pink stuff for girls. Dinosaurs, and only dinosaurs! Hope it goes well.

LePetitMarseillais Sun 14-Dec-14 15:12:30

Um mine were taught never to be upset by anything in a party bag as they're jolly lucky to have anything.

If any children would be upset by a dinosaur frankly it will be a v good learning experience- life isn't all about gender specific toys.

Micah Sun 14-Dec-14 15:13:32

Everyone gets the same. I've never heard of split gender bags.

Are thereanyleft, I would suggest if your girls would be disappointed to get a dinosaur at a dinosaur party, that you teach them to be grateful for anything they get or politely refuse the invitation completely. Why would your girls want to go to a horrible boys party, with boys stuff and boys games anyway.

drbonnieblossman Sun 14-Dec-14 15:14:33

Dinosaurs for all.

YANBU though to include bubbles and balloons though. They'll end up being binned.

StrangeGlue Sun 14-Dec-14 15:14:41

Same for all!!!!!!!!! Dinosaurs are not gendered!!!!!!

QueenofKelsingra Sun 14-Dec-14 15:16:00

i really want to do dinos for all as i really hate the gender stereotyping message - my DD loves her trains and DS2 is always playing tea-parties!

arethereanyleft i admit if DS1 got a 'fairy' party bag he wouldn't be as excited as getting a trucks/dino/car/other 'boy' theme bag, but i wouldn't say he would be 'disappointed'. he would still decorate the fairy i expect.

the party is at a softplay so the only placed to get the dino theme in (at DS's request) is in the party bags and the cake.

QueenofKelsingra Sun 14-Dec-14 15:18:02

drbonnie really? mine love bubbles and balloons! we always have ballons about the house for keepy-uppy games!and they love blowing ballons in the garden! i thought they were a good idea as I'm trying to avoid the 'binnable plastic tat' stuff!!

dinosaurs for all seems to be winning out!

TheLovelyBoots Sun 14-Dec-14 15:19:32

No, no, no. You are a sensible woman to refuse.

Bunbaker Sun 14-Dec-14 15:20:42

I never did his and hers party bags. I just did things like bubbles, a small drawing book and a piece of cake.

arethereanyleftatall Sun 14-Dec-14 15:31:37

Queen - I think upset was probably the wrong word. More - 'wouldn't be remotely interested in it and it would end up in the bin.'
But, I would say if your ds has specifically requested it, then go for it.

TInselaffe Sun 14-Dec-14 15:57:27

Dino bags for all! I loved dinosaurs when I was little.

BikeRunSki Sun 14-Dec-14 16:00:11

DS had a dino 4th birthday party. I did dino bags for everyone. No one was upset !

Jenni2legs Sun 14-Dec-14 16:22:59

DD is getting dino bedding for Christmas it has never crossed her mind that they could be a 'boy' thing. they are animals...

AlmaMartyr Sun 14-Dec-14 16:45:41

My DD would love a dino bag, and has no interest in fairy/princess stuff. DS would be happy with either. I've never done gendered party bags, although people have whinged about it. Ungrateful sods.

dragdownthemoon Sun 14-Dec-14 16:51:47

Noooo I dislike gendered party bags!! You risk upsetting girls who like dinosaurs and boys who like princesses! Give everyone the same, definitely, then no arguments. I never do anything gendered if I can help it, my daughter recently got upset at the dentist cos her brothers got spiderman stickers and she got Cinderella, she is a huge spiderman fan and was not impressed. Not all kids conform to the gender stereotypes and I think assuming they will is just a recipe for disaster xx

Jazzhandsrule Sun 14-Dec-14 16:54:09

Why is pink, sparkly 'stuff' so negatively thought of. Should I be disappointed my DD loves anything that glitters, is pink and is covered in disney princess? Why is dinosaur plastic tat so much more acceptable. This competitive, 'my DD hates anything girly' that is often said in threads is really depressing.

KatOD Sun 14-Dec-14 16:56:02

Give them all the same. I really like the link Mighty Girl re-posted this morning of a flow chart starting with the question: "is this toy for boys or girls?" -> "do you operate the toy with your genitalia?" -> if "yes" then this is not a toy for children -> if "no" then this is a toy for either boys or girls.

VashtaNerada Sun 14-Dec-14 16:56:58

Dinosaurs for all. Definitely. Making an assumption of children's interests based on gender pisses me right off.

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