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To report a teacher from so long ago?

(13 Posts)
serin Sun 14-Dec-14 14:20:12

We went to a family party last night and I got chatting to a cousins child (age17) she attended my old sixth form but has just left her course as she felt she was being bullied by her art teacher.

I said that the same thing had happened to me there over 25years ago and named the teacher. It is the same one that has caused her to leave her course.

Last night I felt sick recalling all the things she had said to me, repeatedly calling me masculine and using the term "gay" as a term of abuse to me.
She also called me scruffy, rough, common, pathetic. Said my art work was "crap" and liked to remind me that I would amount to nothing.

She said all this in front of the class and in private when she would make me stay back to try and get me to talk about my sexuality.

I used to shake and sometimes throw up before lessons and although I got an A at A level for art I haven't been able to pick up a pencil since. I remember crying in the evenings in my bedroom and really thinking that I should just end it all rather than face her in another lesson.

When I left to go to uni, I made a conscious effort to try and forget her and I think that has been a pretty successful survival strategy for me but I feel so bloody guilty that she is still bullying vulnerable teens.

Would I be being unreasonable to report her after so long? I have no proof of how she treated me as I did not keep in contact with anyone from that class. I am also unsure if I can cope with re opening the old wounds.

YoooSkylaaaarrrrrggghh Sun 14-Dec-14 15:10:11

This is awful. She should absolutely be reported. Did your cousin not take it further considering her child was victim to her bullying?

holeinmyheart Sun 14-Dec-14 15:10:22

Gosh how awful. You may not have much success against this sadistic monster alone, but there are TWO of you.
if you want to do the most damage then you write to her Head-teacher. The letter must be well written,not abusive, or mis-spelled, so get it checked and prepare for it to be challenged.
When the Head receives the letter they will HAVE to respond and the Bully will have her roots shaken
You need to say in your letter that you would like to see their bullying policy, and you want a reply within a certain time ( say two weeks)
Don't be fobbed off.p
Best of luck. Have courage as she needs dismissing !

serin Sun 14-Dec-14 15:25:34

My cousin did complain about his daughters treatment but the college were very dismissive. They said that teacher is very experienced and had an impeccable record whereas his daughter was at the lower end of the ability spectrum and not expected to get great grades anyway. I expect she was no great loss to them sad

It's a catholic college, you would think they would be better at listening to complaints these days but I honestly can't see any complaint from me getting very far.

I have questioned my motives for reporting, I don't think I am being vindictive, I just want her to stop hurting people. Not for one minute did I think she would still be working as she seemed old when she taught me.

CatCushion Sun 14-Dec-14 15:32:14

Yes, you should report it. They can't complain that you are doing it for any other reason than you state. There surely must have been many others in the intervening years who were picked on like this, too.

Perhaps you could advertise in the local press for pub meets for 'Miss X's ex Art class club' and see what happens!

Aeroflotgirl Sun 14-Dec-14 16:00:15

Yes I would complain to the LEA Ofstead, it's bullying! I don't think the school will do much as they hold her on a pedestal.

Tron123 Sun 14-Dec-14 16:15:14

Historic complaints are difficult on so many levels, I have mixed feelings about the recent prosecutions and in some cases convictions. Whilst clearly you were upset and traumatised by your experience raking up old events does not always leaned to closure, this depends on what the outcome.

mytartanscarf Sun 14-Dec-14 16:23:31

It's certainly true that teachers do bully and intimidate students occasionally.

I don't know if much can be done though if the school are aware and are turning a blind eye.

I know what you mean though: I had a teacher who was beyond nasty to me as she didn't like my brother - recent posts on Facebook were saying how great she was! It made me wonder if I'd invented some stuff but I know I didn't.

TooMuchCantBreathe Sun 14-Dec-14 16:35:13

I have the same dilemma in a way except I was assaulted in view of half the school. The school covered it up. I found out years later my parents didn't even know. I often wonder if I should, then assume I wouldn't be believed, then bury it again. I've no answer for you except to say, ime, now you're thinking about it it is unlikely to go away if you do nothing, especially as your own family are now affected.

ArgyMargy Sun 14-Dec-14 16:39:08

If she is still working there you are definitely not being unreasonable to think about reporting her. If she has retired it might be a whole load of stress for you with no satisfactory outcome. I'm sorry you had such an awful experience - it must have taken a long time to get over it.

AcrossthePond55 Sun 14-Dec-14 19:12:17

Yes, you should report your experiences. But it seems to me (based on your cousin's child) that the school already knows about this teacher and is dismissive. I can't believe your cousin is the first to have complained about her and they certainly seemed to dismiss his daughter's experience.

The first thing I'd do is sit down and try to think of others you went to school with that had the same experience. Can you talk to anyone else and elicit support? I'd also talk to your cousin and his daughter and ask them the same. If there are others who might be willing to tell their stories also, that would help it carry more weight. Unfortunately I know that some people/teachers pick on one person to 'bully' until that person is gone, then they pick another one and carry on so there are often not a whole bunch of victims.

I'd also bypass whoever it was your cousin complained to and go at least two steps over their head. Their immediate supervisor probably knows and believes the teacher. Or complain to an authority outside the school.

BOFster Sun 14-Dec-14 19:17:20

I find it so sad that you have dropped your art. I know this isn't exactly what you wanted to discuss, but I wish you'd take it up again.

serin Sun 14-Dec-14 20:48:23

Thanks everyone.

BOF, My DC's are good at art! I sort of live it vicariously through them.

I am not pretending that what she did to me has had any lasting effect really, I have gone on to have a great life.

I am usually the most "together" person out there, haven't given old teacher much of a thought for years. It was just a shock to hear that she's still at it.

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