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To write total filth in my DHs card?

(40 Posts)
grottielottie Sun 14-Dec-14 10:40:41

MIL always reads all of our Christmas card and often comments on them.

Normally I write about our year and hopes for next year. This year has been a bit of a roller coaster for me and I would like to write and thank him for his support but I also don't want her commenting on it.

Would IBU to write something so rude that will totally stop this in the future and if so can I have some suggestions?

Rinkydinkypink Sun 14-Dec-14 10:42:42

Yes yes do it! My MIL is very nosey and I'm very tempted gringringrin

madsadbad Sun 14-Dec-14 10:45:05

Just do the first paragraph and then she should stop reading and you can right the rest as you wish

Rinkydinkypink Sun 14-Dec-14 10:45:39

Oh suggestions grin

How about something along the lines of the thought of your head between my legs till I come again and again makes me want to strip you naked and suck you dry? blush smile

SamiBE Sun 14-Dec-14 10:46:03

Haha do it!

CatsClaus Sun 14-Dec-14 10:47:07

ahhhh let's hope we can recreate that time on your mother's kitchen table....

TrousersSchmowsers Sun 14-Dec-14 10:48:26

I would have a field day with this.

"DH, thank you so much for bringing Roger into our lives, I know he has made us both VERY happy and I can't wait for the last Saturday of each month!"

And then book a hotel and ask MIL to babysit on the 27th grin

TrousersSchmowsers Sun 14-Dec-14 10:49:11

Rinky thanks for the noseful of tea

shockshockshock Rinky

StockingFullOfCoal Sun 14-Dec-14 10:57:20

Rinky you read my mind! OP write that!

grottielottie Sun 14-Dec-14 11:00:53

Rinky you seem quite practiced in this, I'm blushing just reading your suggestion.

NowBringUsSomeFuzzpiggyPudding Sun 14-Dec-14 11:02:04

I'm not marking my place or anything.

AnotherEmma Sun 14-Dec-14 11:09:15

How about you get him two cards, one that you will display and MIL will read, and another one for DH to keep in your bedroom or in a drawer or something, so you can write what you want in it?

Guiltypleasures001 Sun 14-Dec-14 11:14:59

To my shame I automatically thought Roger might be a horse blush
And to paraphrase an old thread about a snooping mil ide put in about your planned move to Aus in the new year.

Slopes off to book herself some therapy.....

HollyJollyDillydolly Sun 14-Dec-14 11:17:08

My mil is the same. She read my valentines card to dh and it was a rudey type one.
The Roger suggestion sounds good.

Bogeyface Sun 14-Dec-14 11:22:42

I would write it as normal but pop a paragraph in there about how it is a shame that you have been having to look into care homes but that you are sure "she" will cope fine with the transition.

If MIL asks who "she" is, look flustered and stammer and say "oh....er...thats about something else! More tea?!" That'll get the old bat rattled grin

LadyLuck10 Sun 14-Dec-14 11:32:23

I love trousers suggestiongringrin

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 14-Dec-14 11:34:28

Do it.

trousers has the best suggestion grin

ocelot41 Sun 14-Dec-14 11:35:28

Mwah hah hah ... I like your style Grottie!

magpieginglebells Sun 14-Dec-14 11:36:16

Do it! (And anotheremma I think you've slightly missed the point!)

AnotherEmma Sun 14-Dec-14 11:40:51

Magpie, maybe I have, but OP could still write "filth" in the card meant for MIL. And I get the impression that OP just wants to be able to write whatever she likes to her DH without nosy MIL reading it. So my suggestion was a way of doing that as well as making a point to MIL.

ghostsinsnow Sun 14-Dec-14 11:40:56

Mine is like that, with all the family cards. She'd stroll in our home and pick up cards be they Christmas, birthday or valentine.
I went NC with her earlier this year but DH still visits her (though not as often) with teenage DD. She actually held on to all DD's birthday cards from that side of the family, despite seeing DD a few days before, until she went down after her birthday. I suspect the reason behind this was so that she could read all DD's cards but it meant poor DD only had a couple of cards on the day of her actual birthday.

Roger is just bloody genius.

tiggy2610 Sun 14-Dec-14 11:43:43

MIL is a card reader and it drives me mad. Doesn't matter how private they are or for what occasion. Friend of mine sent a lovely card after we went through a MC, MIL read the whole thing and criticised the spelling and grammar throughout.

This year DH got an anniversary card that simply said "I LOVE YOUR MASSIVE COCK" on the front of it (God bless etsy!) and it took pride of place on the mantelpiece. MILs face was priceless.

For his birthday this year I'm thinking of this wink

https://www.etsy.com/listing/108433435/she-wants-to-cram-you-back-in-mamas-boy

grottielottie Sun 14-Dec-14 11:44:45

I'm a little disappointed no one has come up with a poem yet!

TrousersRoastingOnAnOpenFire Sun 14-Dec-14 11:47:55

I did think of naming him Brian and suggesting the hotel should be in Hull grin

(Christmas name change)

Then book a handyman called Roger so you can leave notes out all year... "DH if you're home before me Roger is coming round at 2pm with the stronger pump" etc

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