Any thoughts gratefully received!
Two weeks ago my mil/fil came for dinner and chat, chat, chat, my dh says we are redoing our will as it is so old our youngest is in it, but is not named personally. He (rather stupidly) mentions that he'd heard there were all kinds of trusts these days you could consider ..at which point my mil pipes up and says 'yes our solicitor told us to set up a safeguarding trust around the inheritance to stop a daughter in law running off with the children and taking all the money with her'.
I don't know if they've done this and to be honest this is entirely their prerogative. I appreciate that solicitors will suggest his and of course many will choose to adopt this approach.
However I am deeply upset by the connotation that I am untrustworthy and would leave their son - taking their money with me. I can't believe they don't know who I am after 16 years of being married to their son.
I am honestly not (I hope) materialistic - I have no designer anything, no jewellery apart from engagement and wedding ring, no flash car - I work with young people in a low paid job (for which you need a Masters). I am happily married and have only sought to support and love the in laws- I looked after my dh's 96 year old G'ma by doing her shopping and taking her out. I gave up my corporate career (I earned more than him) as one of us had to - or we'd never see the kids as both roles involved travel). I don't understand why I am seen as a financial threat when all I've ever done is help and support them.
What is even more upsetting is that they clearly don't trust me ..ironically by the time they both pass on they'll likely be in their 90's so I'll have been with dh for 36 years and probably helped them just when they need it most (in old age). I think they think I'll be around to help every step of the way as their daughter lives far away (she does have designer shoes, lots of diamonds, executive lifestyle - no kids).
I feel they do not like or trust me - but they are very able to come often to dinner, ask for and accept my help, come to Christmas lunch.
I honestly feel like telling them to do their own Christmas lunch if I'm such a pariah!
Am I being naïve here? Is this the way the world is going?
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Am I being naive?
36 replies
catsharingmychair · 13/12/2014 11:08
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