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to be sick of people expecting me to stand holding doors open for them

(20 Posts)
TamzinGrey Fri 12-Dec-14 22:40:34

When I enter a shop with a closed door I always glance around after pushing the door open to see whether there is anyone behind me. If I see someone approaching I wait, holding the (usually heavy) door open, expecting that they will take it from me. I do the same thing in reverse when leaving a shop. If the person behind is old and frail, or in a wheelchair, or if they have a pushchair, then I will happily keep holding the door open while they pass through. Otherwise I expect whoever is behind to relieve me of said door, maybe with a thank you or a smile.

AIBU to want to slap the faces of the obviously able bodied people who swan past me without a word or even a glance when I'm holding the door open, leaving me stranded and looking like an idiot?

Discopanda Fri 12-Dec-14 22:50:04

Not saying thank you for somebody holding the door for you is entitled and bad-mannered. YANBU for feeling annoyed.

Allbymyselfagain Fri 12-Dec-14 22:53:05

I always say your welcome in a loud voice. Sometimes it shames them, sometimes it doesn't. Bit passive aggressive I know but I feel your pain. It's just good manners to say thanks!

Angel1983 Fri 12-Dec-14 22:54:00

That is one of my pet hates. Also, I become irrationally annoyed when people walk two or three abreast down a narrow pavement/corridor and don't make any effort to squeeze together to allow you to pass. I always wonder where these people expect me to go other than into the road or press myself again the wall.

YANBU - manners cost nothing

WD41 Fri 12-Dec-14 22:54:12

Yanbu. I saw a woman struggling with the door leaving m&s today so I ran over to help her. Did she acknowledge me? Did she fuck. Cue my passive aggressive "you're welcome"

Gruntfuttock Fri 12-Dec-14 22:55:44

You've reminded me of when I was going into Debenhams and held the door open for two women, who ignored me. Feeling a little peeved I muttered "Thank you" (PA or what? grin) only for them to turn round and come towards me screaming obscenities at the tops of their voices.

I hate it when that happens.

QTPie Fri 12-Dec-14 23:00:00

I feel your pain, regularly.

I just think get grumpy at myself for being grumpy at people without manners. The worst is where you go through a series of door and find yourself holding open two or three doors for the unaware ignoramus...

You can't change them, I am afraid. You either continue to do it or let the door slam in their face...

OhTheDrama Fri 12-Dec-14 23:05:56

YANBU this really winds me up! Happened to me whilst out Christmas shopping last Saturday. Here's me very obviously 30 weeks pregnant and holding the the door open when about 5 people barged past me, no thank you or anything. It made me so irrationally angry, the cheek!

CrazyOldBagLady Fri 12-Dec-14 23:14:56

There are some ignorant people out there completely oblivious to anyone else but themselves and that's a shame. It would be a greater shame if you stopped giving friendly gestures to strangers because of the minority who wouldn't appreciate it smile

StarOnTheTree Fri 12-Dec-14 23:23:52

The DC do this too instead of holding the door open for themselves when they get to it. I've started letting the door go so they have to catch it themselves.

Disclaimer: they're more than old enough to do this and stronger than I am (I'm ill and weak sad )

TiggerLillies Fri 12-Dec-14 23:25:46

It may be the Londoner in me - I let go at the point they approach the door when they can be reasonably expected to take responsibility for it not smashing in their faces and they usually still say thanks. Ynbu, it is not that hard to say a simple thanks.

TamzinGrey Fri 12-Dec-14 23:39:39

Trigger - Your London way appeals to me. I'm off to Tunbridge Wells tomorrow so have a look on the news to see if there's a sudden influx of door in the face accidents there.

AcrossthePond55 Fri 12-Dec-14 23:51:37

I do the same as Trigger, it's kind of a 'door hand off' where you sort of start walking through the door whilst letting it go it that says 'here, you take it'.

I'll wait and hold the door for the elderly, the disabled, people with packages, & mum/dads struggling with children. Otherwise, you're on your own.

TiggerLillies Sat 13-Dec-14 00:28:54

And with any luck they will be Londoners and still thank you even if you injure them because that what we do in London to avoid confrontation and to avoid any chance of being beaten up, which is why I said sorry to the man who unwittingly elbowed me in the boob.

Iforgottotellyou Sat 13-Dec-14 08:44:00

Maybe it's your door handling technique ?
If I'm holding the door for someone who has no hands free to take the door then I would turn to face the person I was holding it for and they would walk through without touching the door, but if I wasn't planning on standing holding the door, then it would be a 'door hand off' as pp accurately named smile quick glance round, body facing front with arm outstretched behind about to let go any second so you'd better take it.

redexpat Sat 13-Dec-14 09:03:27

I stopped doing it in secondary school. Had always been taught to hold doors open for teachers but none of them ever said thank you. Respect goes 2 ways, or at least it should.

ProfYaffle Sat 13-Dec-14 09:09:12

Like pp I just keep walking, hold the door for as long as I can with arm outstretched behind me but let go and keep walking at the appropriate moment. Haven't managed to smash anyone in the face yet!

HollyAndIvyTime Sat 13-Dec-14 09:16:29

I hate it when people don't say thank you, too. And have been known to mutter 'thank you' under my breath!

I also hate it when people don't look behind them and just let the door slam in your face (or into small child in buggy). It's so rude!

comedycentral Sat 13-Dec-14 09:49:32

I am usually really good with doors and hold them for others. Or thank people for holding them open.

One time though I walked through a door which looked wedged open I was walking away and someone started screaming 'Thank you! You rude f**king b*tch' really really loud! I honestly didn't see the person behind the door and I felt so rude. Everyone was staring too...I was just shock shock shock

usualsuspectsparkly3 Sat 13-Dec-14 09:52:44

I really can't be arsed too get worked up about holding doors open.

I hold them,the next person in takes the door. I couldn't care less if they say thank you or not.

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