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To not want to be in a relationship?

(5 Posts)
JingleBellsJuliet Fri 12-Dec-14 22:19:45

I have several friends who seem to think I "need a nice man"!!

Bit of background - I was married at 21, divorced at 25. Met ds's dad not long after (someone I briefly dated in my teens, so was very easy to pick back up), which was never right from the start if I'm honest, and we separated when ds was 2. Since then, I've had a 3 year on/off relationship with someone who left the country for a holiday and never came back (it was never going anywhere anyway!!), and had a couple of short relationships which ended with them dumping me out of the blue, with no reason or explanation.

I'm sick to death of men! NYE last year, I got dumped, out of the blue, by the last one. It hurt, as I really thought we had something, and he was the first bloke I'd ever introduced to ds to, and I stupidly went off to a party alone, got pissed and ended up in hospital after falling and smashing my head open, causing a serious brain haemmorrage.

Since my accident, I have not found a single man even remotely attractive. You could put Johnny Depp in front of me, and I'd turn him down grin I have no desire whatsoever to ever meet another "nice" man again, and plan to live out my life as a happy spinster, surrounded by my ds and as many dogs as I can fit in my house. I'm moving house after Christmas, to my dream home, I'll finally have enough money to live, and I'm happy in my own company well not strictly true; I suspect I'm depressed to hell, but that's another story

So, AIBU to want my friends to get off my bloody back about not having a bloke? I have several who are intent on setting me up, wanting me to go out on the pull (I don't really drink anymore since my accident, and have panic attacks in crowded places, so being sober in a packed pub is my idea of hell!), and questioning how I can possibly be happy on my own. I'm not happy with myself or life in general at the minute, but a man certainly isn't going to be the magical cure to all that!

Gruntfuttock Fri 12-Dec-14 22:24:34

There is a saying:- "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" smile

JingleBellsJuliet Fri 12-Dec-14 22:25:39

fgrin Haha I love that!

Jaffakake Fri 12-Dec-14 22:32:20

You've been through the mill & I think are totally entitled to get back on an even keel by yourself & not make life unnecessarily complicated for a bit.

I'm not the sort of woman that has ever needed a man on her arm & actually spent most of my 4 years at uni single (& by that I mean not shagging anyone either!) I had a ball! I did meet the bloke who's now my hubby at the end though!

I believe good partnerships start when you know who you are & are happy with who you are. So, yes, your friends should back off. Tbh it's probably their way of showing concern & wanting you to be happy. Just stick to your guns & be firm but gentle & eventually they'll get the message.

JingleBellsJuliet Fri 12-Dec-14 22:44:46

Exactly! I don't need the complication at the minute. I've had a lot of issues since my accident, I'm at a crossroads where my non-existent career is concerned, and I just want to work out where I'm heading in life, and get some counselling at some point to deal with my low moods. I'm finding it hard enough to sustain friendships let alone a relationship!

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