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Would this behaviour worry you?

(12 Posts)
Sazzle41 Fri 12-Dec-14 21:58:05

I have a work colleague I am starting to wonder about. He is late thirties but comes across far younger in outlook and attitudes, almost teenage boyish when i come to think about it. Everyone in the team was suprised he was 38 as he seems so 'young'. He has a partner but she seems to be away a lot for her work. Socially he is fine in groups but he is a bit clueless with women, puppy like, gets very gushing and over the top and over familiar with women he likes and especially with the two very young grads in the team. In the course of a conversation yesterday he told me that he 'regularly' follows young girls in the street 'because they are beautiful and i need to tell them that'. I was so surprised i forgot to ask their reaction, but personally that would freak the heck out of me.(ie. he follows them , catches them up & says to them "I had to follow you and tell you how beautiful you are".)

He also told me his partners 18 year old niece is their tenant and if he passes her on the landing at night or morning, he 'lifts her nightshirt to see if she is wearing knickers'. I asked how she reacted & he said she pushes him away and ignores him. He also told me that growing up he was so jealous of the attention his sister got for being pretty with long blonde hair that he put hair remover in her shampoo & it all fell out. He actually laughed. I was horrified and now to be frank, i am avoiding him wherever possible. Am i over reacting or is he just very clueless and immature with women?

CocktailQueen Fri 12-Dec-14 22:01:08

Erm, if these stories are true then yes! He is weird or inappropriate or creepy - or all three. No boundaries at all.

misskangaandroo2014 Fri 12-Dec-14 22:03:39

I'd be deeply concerned. It sounds very inappropriate behaviour for his age. Are there other areas he seems so out of step with his age (practical jokes?).

WorraLiberty Fri 12-Dec-14 22:05:59

The hair remover in the shampoo is a load of bollocks as no way would that make her hair fall out.

God knows about the rest of it.

thenightsky Fri 12-Dec-14 22:07:35

He is exaggerating and lying. A bit of hair remover added to shampoo wouldn,t make someone's hair fall out... It takes 10 mins to work when put on hair neat.

If he is lying about this then he's probably lying about the rest too.

thenightsky Fri 12-Dec-14 22:08:07

xpost with worra

MagratsLongWhiteBeard Fri 12-Dec-14 22:09:08

wtf is that all about with the niece? Why does he want to see if she's wearing knickers?!

I don't believe a lot of it I'm afraid. Has anybody ever seen this partner of his? But he does sound odd & I'd keep my distance

Sazzle41 Fri 12-Dec-14 22:21:17

He has mentioned his tenant a lot before. He is totally convinced she fancies him, but personally when i was 18 anyone his age would have been not even on my radar so i think its all in his mind. I dont think being on the landing in your nightie going to the bathroom is a come on, do you ?

I am convinced re the following girls as what he says to them is exactly how he gushes over/speaks to the two grads in the team and he seems to have odd ideas re whats appropriate behaviour with women and thinks women over 25 are 'past it' and 'not beautiful any more'. All he talks about is how beautiful young girls are - like a stuck record.

SavoyCabbage Fri 12-Dec-14 22:24:30

He's got that hair remover part from Matilda surely!

He sounds crazy, talking about following girls and lifting nightshirts as if they are normal things akin to buying a newspaper.

mathanxiety Fri 12-Dec-14 22:33:51

Whether he is lying or not doesn't matter. If he says this stuff, lies or truth, that is what is in his mind, i.e. if it is truth it is creepy and predatory and if a fantasy then it is a creepy and predatory fantasy. Bottom line is he is a creep.

DoubleValiumLattePlease Fri 12-Dec-14 22:38:07

Has anyone - have you - challenged him about his sexual and socially inappropriate behaviour? Really challenged him and told him why what he's doing is so wrong and what could happen to him if someone chose to make an issue of it?

dwarfrabbit Fri 12-Dec-14 22:45:22

I'd have a word with those two young women at work to see if he is making them uncomfortable .If they dislike what he is doing, he can be given a warning. If his creepiness gets worse, there is a paper trail which will make it easier to fire his sexist arse. He is obviously getting some sick pleasure out of telling you about his grubby habits, so I'd send an email asking him not to share any other details about how he feels about women in the future. Again, a paper trail...If he is vindictive enough to put hair remover in shampoo, or even lie about it, you need to cover yourself OP...

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