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aibu to be upset when my dh ditches me every friday night?

(11 Posts)
bedraggledmumoftwo Fri 12-Dec-14 19:58:50

I am just finishing mat leave, we have a 1 yo and a 2 1/2 yo. Dh works three hours train ride away most of the time so pretty much lives in a hotel. Usually gets home v. late on a Thurs night, goes to localish office early Friday morning, so the only day he is ever here before i am in bed is Friday night- and early for his work would be getting home at 8 at best. I have had a nightmare week with the kids, d&v, crashed the car, dd2 was up literally all night last night and now think she has hand, foot and mouth. Have tried ringing dh a number of times but not had any response, so aibu to be really upset that just when i was wondering if i should open a bottle of wine, i get a text saying he is just leaving the office... And going for a few drinks!
I don't necessarily need him to come home every Friday, lord knows he has to work most of them, but i just feel like he could do me the courtesy of letting me know, or dare i say consulting me before he is already off to the pub!

ghostyslovesheep Fri 12-Dec-14 20:02:53

no YANBU - open the wine x

TaytoCrisp Fri 12-Dec-14 20:05:47

YA definitely NBU. Sounds like tough going for you both. Maybe it was a last minute thing and he was afraid to ask in case you were (understandably)annoyed or disappointed. But it's very reasonable to want to know the plan in advance. Hope you can get a few hours to yourself over the weekend.

bedraggledmumoftwo Fri 12-Dec-14 20:07:19

I have- one of those pitiful mini bottles for one!

prettywhiteguitar Fri 12-Dec-14 20:10:45

That is disappointing, is it because it's Christmas that they're going out ? Can you organise a babysitter or do something nice together over the weekend ?

Or is it more like he's being a bit of an arse ? My dp sometimes works a lot but if it's been one of those times, I usually organise that I bugger off out of the house with my friends or do something with him.

It's relentless with two under three

prettywhiteguitar Fri 12-Dec-14 20:11:26

Noooooo you need a wine delivery !!!

Waltonswatcher Fri 12-Dec-14 20:11:31

I'm with you in spirit op . I've had a bad week .... Dd1(15) had asthma attack -never happened before and left her very wobbly . Ds off school with a chest infection . Dd2(2) just getting over Hfandmouth and now has chicken pox .
Would I have coped with Dh disappearing to the pun tonight ? No way in hell . I'm normally chilled about his life mon-fri , he does his own thing and I encourage him to socialise .
Poorly kids though and the rules change . Daddy walking in the door can be a huge lift for everyone .
Btw hfandmouth was bloody awful . Get yourself a few more bottles in .

bedraggledmumoftwo Fri 12-Dec-14 20:16:35

I think it is more that he is oblivious and didn't even think about me. He goes out for dinner/drinks on expenses the other nights so probably doesn't feel the need to consider me. It is a bit like he
isn't going to be home in time to see the girls, so there's no rush...

Hairstylisttoboris Fri 12-Dec-14 20:17:24

Op I'm having a glass with you in solidarity. Sorry it's been so rough this week for you. flowers

bedraggledmumoftwo Fri 12-Dec-14 20:23:13

Just to allay all your concerns, lack of wine is not a problem in our house, but it is prosecco and i had a migraine on weds ( missed that off my tale of woe) and combined with sleepless night i didn't want to drink too much if he wasn't here to share.

Waltonswatcher Fri 12-Dec-14 20:30:12

I tell you what I now do op , I text at lunch time if I know I need him home on time . This gives him time to organise his day accordingly . I've tried leaving him to realise and it ends in disaster !
My Dh is really good at being here if I need him . It's hard sometimes to ask for support as I feel that as the sahp I should weather all the storms stoically ... But some weeks stink !
My toddler is now back up again - we've hit the scratch stage of chicken pox - I'm in for another long week.

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