to think my friend's sister is probably waiting for her invitation

[Storytown]

and to wonder why some people don't just talk to each other?

My friend is "stressed" about Christmas. She and her family usually go to her sister's but sister had an op a couple of months ago, is apparently well but not back at work until the NY.

Friend hasn't had her invitation yet but doesn't know what to do because last year sister invited her really late, which was annoying because friend had already bought the meat to do Christmas at home.

Why, in that situation would you not either invite sister to you, or phone and ask what the plans for Christmas are?

[drbonnieblossman]

So the sister has just had an operation, caters for her family every Christmas and it hasn't occurred to any of them to host themselves and give the poor woman a break? Bloody hell, if I were you I'd point her in the direction of being less selfish and putting the effort in herself.

[NoelleHawthorne]

i would think its none of my business and not bother with an opinion

[Storytown]

Yes thank for that Noelle, but I've heard a lot about this.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Why does friend not contact her sister , if not, do Christmas at home this year and tell sister that if she calls to invite her.

[MonstrousRatbag]

Have you made the 'why don't you ask her or offer to host' suggestion?
If yes, what did your friend say in response?

[iwanttogotothechaletschool]

Sister is possibly inviting people late in the vain hope that someone might actually think "ooh let's give sis a break and invite her to ours for Christmas for a change."

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Do people not just have the 'what are we doing for Christmas' conversation in January? Odd.

[rollonthesummer]

Sounds like the sister is sick to the back teeth with catering for people who take her for granted!!

[Pancakeflipper]

I would say to grumbling friend "have you asked your sister?"

[Storytown]

I have Monstrous but I think she thought I was joking.

Sis has a big house with room for everyone. Friend has a normal house (not tiny) and a dog, which I think is part of the issue.

I am absolutely certain that sister is leaving the invitation later each year in the vain hope that someone else will do it.

In our family people start asking "what are you doing for Christmas?" in September!

[MonstrousRatbag]

Well, what's the new saying on here? 'Not my circus, not my monkeys'. In other words, as it isn't your family you don't have to stick your head above the parapet with suggestions and advice.

I really feel for the sister, but she is failing to spell out what she wants too-why on earth not just say 'Sorry folks, I'm not doing it this year'?

[BramwellLovesSnowflakeBiscuits]

She needs to either phone her sister and ask what her plans for Christmas are or shut up moaning to you about it, fwiw, my parents get later with their invitation each year as its been the same arrangement for years so they just assume I know when I'm meant to turn up, last year they didn't even invite me, just text me on Christmas eve saying 'Can Dbro borrow your car seat when you get here tomorrow?'

[worserevived]

'Sis has a big house with room for everyone. Friend has a normal house (not tiny)..... which I think is part of the issue'

I really feel for the sister. I am lumbered with doing all the entertaining for the same reason. It sucks. I am never invited back. Plus when you have a big house everyone assumes they can stay over, so as well as cooking for the masses you have endless cleaning and bed linen to deal with after they have gone. I am not surprised the sister is keeping quiet. If she's just had an op she really doesn't need the extra work.

If I were you I'd tell your friend to be sisterly and invite her sister for xmas, and point out just how much work hosting is.

[Viviennemary]

She has to ring her sister and ask her what her plans are for Christmas. Then at least she'll know.

[YonicSleighdriver]

Could the family go to the sister's house but your friend actually host? Cooking, washing up, shopping, bed linen etc?

Buy I actually think your friend should host at hers, or else all go out this year.

[LittleRedRidingHoodie]

Or everyone meet at a restaurant and treat the poor girl. I'm angry on her behalf! I bet she's at home stewing with rage that no one has asked her over or is clearly hanging around for an invite. Selfish family.

[DeWee]

Problem is it may not be as simple as saying "my turn to host, sure you'd like a rest dsis".
It may mean a lot to the sister to be able to do it, or be very touchy "you mean you don't think I can do it."
Or it may be that last time she had them all over 3/4 of them spent half the time complaing how it was too small, so she feels awkward about offering to have that number.

But a simple conversation of "what would you like to do for Christmas?" should be the best thing.