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To not want to mind my dns' on Monday before xmas

(22 Posts)
Ineedtolearntosayno Fri 12-Dec-14 16:26:43

I work all year and take some time at Xmas to recharge my batteries . My dear sister caught me on the hop on the phone just now so see if I'll mind her 3 children on the Monday before Xmas. I kind of half agreed as I was distracted as she phoned me at work. She has just texted me to say she has booked massage and facial to relax before the big day. So I get to drive half hr through manic London traffic to mind her 3 while on my day off I should be watching movies or browsing shops or more importantly having a lie in. Why can't she do her massage next week while her children are in school ? Needed to have a little foot stamp for myself hence the post !

Purplehonesty Fri 12-Dec-14 16:31:56

Ah but just think of all the lovely lie ins you will be able to have over Christmas whilst your dear sister is up in the freezing cold at 7am and refereeing children fighting over their new toys.

Plus when you have kids she will return the favour...?

itsbetterthanabox Fri 12-Dec-14 16:44:09

Pfft lie ins over Christmas lots of us have to work Xmas you know!
I do think that's a bit cheeky of her especially when her kids are school age so she doesn't have them 24/7. I presume you work full time? That's not how id want to spend my day off when it's just for her to go to a spa!

Mammanat222 Fri 12-Dec-14 16:45:23

Do you have kids?

Are you off all that week?

TimelyNameChangey Fri 12-Dec-14 16:45:33

Just tell her you weren't concentrating when she asked you and you've got plans already. Don't be apologetic. Suggest she goes next week!

vulgarwretch Fri 12-Dec-14 16:46:46

Can't you at least tell her she has to drop them off to you? Then you can have your lie in first.

Ineedtolearntosayno Fri 12-Dec-14 17:08:54

Yes I Have kids but they are all older now. Yes I work full time in a stressful job and I have had a long hard year. She does not work and her 3 are all in school. The spa is in a different direction to me and she will be leaving hers in their pjs. I always get sucked in by family as I'm too nice to say no. And if I say anything about working so hard I just get why don't you give up and stay at home . Eh ??? I need to provide for my family. I'm sure I'll enjoy the day with the kids but it would be nice if she had thought about it before asking.

Ineedtolearntosayno Fri 12-Dec-14 17:12:09

Purple that's a good point I suppose I will have nice relaxing Xmas day and she will prob be up refereeing between her 3.

PiratesLifeForMe Fri 12-Dec-14 17:17:06

Hmmmm, to be fair to your sister, she asked and you said yes....whether you were distracted and what she's planning to do with the time is a bit by the by.

Little bit U to be annoyed at her I think.

Fairenuff Fri 12-Dec-14 17:19:23

I think that because you said you would, you should stick to it now.

yellowdinosauragain Fri 12-Dec-14 17:31:24

If you don't want to look after them then call her back now and tell her she caught you on the hop and actually you have plans that day. That the plans are relaxing and shopping is none of her business. But if she is in the habit of doing this with you regretting it after then get into the habit of saying that you need to check your diary and will get back to her before agreeing in the future

MaryWestmacott Fri 12-Dec-14 17:40:25

Agree, call herback now, say very sorry, you've realised you can't have them after all as you've got a list of jobs to fit in that day, most of which will be out of the house. (If she's so cheeky to ask what, say you've got to book in having your bikini line waxed and you've placed a couple of orders with shops you'll have to pick up that day)

Do it now so she can cancel her bookings.

Ineedtolearntosayno Fri 12-Dec-14 17:44:25

No I will mind them as I said I would do so. It does happen a fair bit with both my sisters, normally I'm ok but I thinks it's just because I'm so tired this year that I got a little put out. I will make a resolution to say no a bit more and also not to answer phone in work. It's nice to be able to have a little moan on here and get it out of the system .

yellowdinosauragain Fri 12-Dec-14 17:49:16

Well at least ask her to drop them with you so you can have a lie in and get some jobs done at home while looking after them. So what that it's in the opposite direction to her spa. She'll just have to get up a bit earlier won't she?

whois Fri 12-Dec-14 17:51:25

Another vote for a white lie "oh god sorry sis, I wasn't really concentrating when you phoned - distracted at work - can't actually mind them as I have plans. Soz"

Xmas2014Santa2014 Fri 12-Dec-14 17:52:36

You need to start saying no
She could have suggested you both go together & someone else have the kids!

Xmas2014Santa2014 Fri 12-Dec-14 17:54:05

why can't she do her massage next week when kids are at school

Because she knows your a mug?!

Viviennemary Fri 12-Dec-14 18:00:28

Hmm. Well you did agree in a moment of madness. I think I'd be tempted to say I wasn't well or had forgotten I'd promised to meet a friend or make an excuse. Why should you be stressed out like this so she can have a bit of stress free time. let her DH take a day off while she has her spa day.

BusyBusyBusy1 Fri 12-Dec-14 18:08:04

I don't think she should have called you at work - when you are likely to be busy - with a non-urgent request. Much better to text you or call in the evening. If she is SAHM with school aged kids then she has had all term to have a massage. Of course, if she was SAHM with two or three kids at home and no time for anything, that is a different matter. I am sure you have lots of things you need to catch up on in your week off, so I would say that she caught you on the hop, you had forgotten you already had plans (have a 'plan' ready). She can always pay a babysitter if she is really keen.

MaryWestmacott Fri 12-Dec-14 18:31:45

Op, of course you can pull out if you do it now! Don't be a martyr ! You don't want to mind your DNs, your sister doesnt need you to have them - someone is getting a day off on Monday 22nd, it should be you as someone with limited holiday leave and little free time, instead it'll be your sister who gets 9-3 Monday -Friday every term week "off".

Honestly, some woman need to learn to say no rather than always saying yes then being upset about it.

Call her back, why do you think she deserves the day off more than you? Why did she think she did enough to call you at work and ask you to take her dcs?!

KatieKaye Fri 12-Dec-14 19:17:07

Definitely call her and say you can't do it.
the first day of your leave and she expects you to get up early to childmind for her so she can go and relax?? How totally selfish of her.
Don't feel you have to give a reason - just say she caught you at a busy time at work and you forgot you have a (non specific) prior engagement.

If she "needs" that massage then she can ask a friend with kids, or wait until her partner is off work so he can look after the DC.

Don't be a martyr because this will only encourage her to take a loan of you.

PiratesLifeForMe Fri 12-Dec-14 19:29:24

I reckon you should book your own massage & spa day some day afterwards for a well earnt pamper - Xmas reward for your good deed smile

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