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To be annoyed about the lack of seat belt?

(55 Posts)
divafever24 Thu 11-Dec-14 16:23:09

Pil brought dd (3 yrs) home last night in their car from their house. Granted we live maximum 2 minutes away in the car, I was quite horrified when dd walked in saying " grandma says I didn't need to wear a seatbelt cos we weren't going far!" Not wanting to cause a scene I kept my mouth shut but secretly I'm fuming. Dd has recently moved into the next group of seat where she has the seat belt across her. I've been trying to teach her how important it is for her to wear it and not press the red button whilst in transit.
1) should I say something to pil?
2) how do I explain to a 3 year old I do not think this is a good idea
3) aibu to think it doesn't matter how long you are in the car, accidents happen?

Bunbaker Thu 11-Dec-14 16:26:56

They are breaking the law. They need to know that.

notagainffffffffs Thu 11-Dec-14 16:29:44

It absolutely matters. If someone rear ended them she could break her neck and be paralysed for life or die.

Charitybelle Thu 11-Dec-14 16:32:07

I'm angry on your behalf! I would have a word with them away from dd and calmly say that you're not happy for her to travel without a seatbelt ever! Thank them for their help and just make it clear that you know they didn't mean to be careless, but if it ever happens again you won't be able to let your dd travel in their car. They might be defensive or angry, but ride it out. Safety for your dc trumps the hurt feelings of relatives.

Fudgeface123 Thu 11-Dec-14 16:32:36

shock

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Thu 11-Dec-14 16:44:05

I have had 1 accident whilst driving. I was turning on to the road below mine when we collided, I had been in the car all of 1 minute. Accidents happen anywhere and everywhere that there are cars on the road!
You need to chat with your PIL about safety, make it clear that if they ever take her out in the car she must be strapped safely in to the correct car seat for her weight. Failure to do this is illegal, and will result in them no longer being trusted with caring for her.
As for your DD tell her it was silly of PIL to not strap her in. Say how important it is to be safe in the car, and how the strap is the safest way to travel. Keep on mentioning how important it is, it will sink in with her - DS has had it told to him so often that by the time he turned 4 he was the one shouting "I hope you are strapping yourself in before we set off Grandad (or whoever was driving)!".

I did have a similar issue with in laws, they used seatbelts but were reluctant car seat users, until I said "No car seat, no grandchild on the day trip." They gave in very quickly. It is the law for a reason, and saying "My sons survived!" doesn't wash with me.

BertieBotts Thu 11-Dec-14 16:49:03

Yes speak to them. They may not know it's the law? (Although you'd think so... seatbelts have been law for about thirty years!)

There are statistics which say that most accidents happen less than 5 minutes from home, so it doesn't matter if it's "just around the corner" or a short trip, there's actually a higher chance you will crash on one of those trips.

thatsmyname123 Thu 11-Dec-14 16:52:50

I'd definitely say something, as others have said its illegal and dangerous, the correct car seat and seatbelt are necessary even for the shortest journeys, they save lives. There are some idiots on the roads, how would he feel if they had an accident? Even if the accident wasn't his fault your child's injuries would be if she wasn't safely strapped in

divafever24 Thu 11-Dec-14 16:55:57

Thank you for all your advice, didn't want to come accross as a neurotic mother! I will speak with them. Little princess you have just reminded me I had an accident years ago, someone ran into me just at the bottom of our street, and even with a seatbelt I had considerable whiplash. Annoying thing is they have the correct car seat isofixed into their car! Mil did look embarrassed when dd piped up she had no seat belt on. Will have a chat with dd now.

Mousefinkle Thu 11-Dec-14 16:57:14

Some people still don't believe seat belts are important, particularly those of a certain generation where seat belts didn't exist or weren't used when they were younger. So they view it as "well, it never did us any harm not using them." As with anything that's now frowned upon or damn right dangerous really... The "Never did us any harm" saying has a lot to answer for hmm.

I was shocked when I got in the car with my best friend last week and he didn't belt up. It's instinctual for me to do it, I had to push him to do it because he said he never does it and the likelihood of us crashing was so slim he didn't see the point shock. Haven't been in a car with him for many years, I couldn't believe this was his attitude! An otherwise intelligent forward thinking man...

I definitely would have brought PIL up on that one. Doesn't matter if you're driving on a road for one minute a crash is always possible, they put your DC's life at risk.

fatterface Thu 11-Dec-14 16:58:04

Is she big enough to just be in a seat belt? I thought it wasn't safe til 4+.

NetballHoop Thu 11-Dec-14 16:58:08

Could it be that they struggle/don't know how to fit the car seat? Yes have a word with them and show them how it should be done.

saltlakesterling Thu 11-Dec-14 16:58:13

What claritybelle said. My mum has only ever had one crash. She had a seat belt on and quite horrific and long lasting injuries. It was not her fault. She was turning out of her road. About 15 seconds tops from home.

LIZS Thu 11-Dec-14 16:58:57

Most accidents happen within mile or two of home.

divafever24 Thu 11-Dec-14 17:13:36

It's a group 3 seat which you use with the the normal seat belt accross them fatterface, she is nearly 4 and is the correct weight for it. Thanks for your concern though. I agree it must be a generational thing. I clearly remember as a young child my great grandma "just holding it round" rather clicking the belt in because we weren't going far!

vestandknickers Thu 11-Dec-14 17:17:39

You need to talk to them. It is against the law and for good reason. They are putting your DD at risk.

Xmas2014MN9993 Thu 11-Dec-14 18:43:03

I thought it was 4 too as I have a DD approaching 3 and recently looked this up.

BertieBotts Thu 11-Dec-14 19:01:34

It's 15kg minimum, nothing to do with age. 4 is a rough idea but some kids will outgrow the Group 1 seat (max 18kg) before then.

Micah Thu 11-Dec-14 19:05:49

I'd be furious. And I'd be explaining if she is ever not in a car seat and belted in again she doesn't get in a car with them. Ever.

It amazes me the amount of people who seem to stop using car seats once children hit school age. My 6&9 year olds are the only ones in their peer groups who still use car seats and are not allowed in the front.

ilovepowerhoop Thu 11-Dec-14 19:07:01

it is mostly weight related and the age given is a guideline. DS was 18kg around the age of 3 and was too heavy for the harnessed seat so moved to a high backed booster.

KatieKaye Thu 11-Dec-14 19:13:20

I'm not surprised your DM was embarrassed. Ten seconds to make sure DD is secure in the car versus the possibility of permanent injury or death?

those of us who remember the days before seat belts were compulsory also remember the "clunk click" ads (done by Saville) about the risks of not wearing seat belts. And lots of us also knew people who had incurred a serious injury. At 8 years old, my friend went through the windscreen of a car her dad was driving. She nearly died, was in hospital for a long time and has bad facial scars.

This survey says that almost 1 in 3 accidents happen within a mile from home.
www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/6018081/One-in-three-road-accidents-happen-a-mile-from-home-survey-says.html

I was a carseat/belt obsessive with my kids. My mother thought it was entirely unnecessary and I was being a fanatic and making her life difficult. She did the whole "We put you in a carrycot behind the seats and you were fine" thing. Good thing they didn't have a nasty accident.

One of my best friends had a really crusty old knackered car seat that was well past its expiration when her daughter was a toddler and wasn't a safe design. I was a bit of a bitch about it because she kept saying it was fine and it really wasn't. I could pull her daughter out of the seat without undoing the straps! She said that I was pulling hard and I asked her if she really thought I could apply more force than a car travelling at speed could?? A local discount shop was selling new in box wonderful seats for a fraction of the cost because the company (Fisher Price) had decided to stop selling car seats. I had one of those seats and bought some extras and I insisted on selling one to my friend (I told her I would give her the seat if the money was the problem but she said it wasn't and paid me) and fit it nice and tight and level in her car for her. About a month later she was hit on the side of her car (the side she and the toddler were on). Everyone but the toddler was hurt (recovered but took a lot of physio etc). Toddler didn't even have a bruise. So said friend was happy to tell that story to my mother when my mother started going on about me being insane about car seats.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Thu 11-Dec-14 19:18:28

I would be livid enough that she wasnt in a carseat, let alone on a standard seat unbelted.

Id be fucking livid.

even if those accidents are minor they could still cause an avoidable concussion if a child is ejected from their seat.

yeah livid... barely control anger for a while until I calmed down and then still extremely firm and mother bear like.

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