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To be a bit pissed off about this -wedding related

(22 Posts)
namechange47583 Wed 10-Dec-14 13:01:52

I suppose I'm here for a vent more than anything so as to avoid any rows. Earlier this year dp and I booked our wedding for spring next year, I have family abroad and would be so happy if they could attend. I was going to leave it the standard 3 months to send out invites but my relatives abroad know the date, as does my Ddad

A couple of months later dd and his dp get engaged, they booked the wedding for early summer next year so not long after ours. I am really happy for them as they have been going out a long time and seem happy together but deep down I was a bit worried the relatives abroad would not be able to make two in a year, especially so close apart. Dd told me not to worry about changing any of our plans, they said they would send nothing out about thier wedding until our invites are out.

I received my invites from the printers yesterday and as I was sorting them out this morning I recieved a save the date for thier wedding through the post, I assume they have sent the rest out as it was enclosed in my christmas card so I am guessing they are doing it to save postage.

I'm more annoyed that they have gone back on thier word more than anything else, especially as I have been trying to get hold of dd for about a week prior to this and he has not been returning my calls sad

aibu to be a little upset?

wowfudge Wed 10-Dec-14 13:05:56

YABU to be upset before you know they have sent save the date cards to everyone else they are inviting to their wedding in the Christmas cards!

Ask them first before you get upset - you're just guessing at the moment.

People who care about you will come to your wedding: just get your invitations sent out, your guests abroad already know the date.

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

youareallbonkers Wed 10-Dec-14 13:07:34

Does it matter whose wedding they attend? Some will go to yours, some to his, some to both.

flowery Wed 10-Dec-14 13:09:47

But the relatives abroad who you are concerned about already know your date. confused

Aeroflotgirl Wed 10-Dec-14 13:11:16

Yanbu, it's understandable you want your loved ones at your wedding. It seems as if he is hogging the limelight, no wonder he was uncontactable! Çoukd they have not waited!

Aeroflotgirl Wed 10-Dec-14 13:12:31

Yes but that puts them into a situation, who's wedding to go to, both might be too expensive.

namechange47583 Wed 10-Dec-14 13:16:26

Like I said I am a more bothered about the fact that he has said that he would not, as he said he would feel like he was imposing on our wedding plans, then goes back on what he said.

If the shoe was on the other foot I would not have booked my wedding so close to my dad's wedding as I would feel guilty if they attended my wedding and not his. I would also not want the relatives to be put in the position where they felt they had to choose.

Yes I suppose I don't know for sure yet if they have only sent mine out. I have tried calling him again today and no response.

namechange47583 Wed 10-Dec-14 13:19:34

Sorry I cross posted with some there! Thanks for your responses!

PrimeraVez Wed 10-Dec-14 13:57:05

I had a similar-ish situation with my mum and I'm slightly embarrassed to say I spoke to her about it and got quite upset. She genuinely couldn't understand what my issue was so I decided to drop it as otherwise it had the potential to become a really big deal.

In the end everyone came to mine and then DM got upset when a lot of people couldn't travel to hers a few weeks later confused

Kundry Wed 10-Dec-14 14:02:21

Dunno but can you not use the abbreviation Dd for Dear Dad please? I've had to re-read your OP 3 times to figure out you aren't talking about your daughter. You aren't, are you confused

Mammanat222 Wed 10-Dec-14 14:05:33

I'm confused do you have a DD or DS?

Not that it matters but I keep reading it as you have daughter but refer to her as "him" ?

To be honest I'd be inclined to say let your child have the big wedding and first dibs on the relatives coming over etc.

I assume you and partner are older / have been in serious LTR's before (possibly even been married before)

As you post is vague and a little confusing though I am only going on what I think?

If it's "your family" who live abroad as in your siblings then maybe they would rather attend your wedding?

Mammanat222 Wed 10-Dec-14 14:06:31

Oh right it's the OP's Dad getting married not her daughter.

That explains a lot.

Ha

Mammanat222 Wed 10-Dec-14 14:08:05

In that case I stand by what I said in that your Dad should let you have the big day. Kids big day comes first especially as I assume your Dad was married before?

HatieKokpins Wed 10-Dec-14 14:09:46

I wouldn't worry about it too much, and definitely try not to stress about it.

Also, a DF instead of DD would have been really helpful!

namechange47583 Wed 10-Dec-14 14:17:24

Sorry, Dd is Dad! I never call him father so it never occurred to me to refer to him as Df. My dad and his fiancee are older and have both been married before.

The relatives abroad are my 'Dad's family' so I am a bit worried that if they have to choose, they will feel obliged to pick his.

I have spoken to my sister, she has recieved hers so I am guessing they are out

Aeroflotgirl Wed 10-Dec-14 14:39:55

As he is your dad and they have been married before, they should let you have your day, very inconsiderate!

CheeseBuster Wed 10-Dec-14 15:41:06

YABU.

LadyLuck10 Wed 10-Dec-14 15:45:10

Yanbu, I would have been upset that they booked it so close to yours in the first place. He had his day, very selfish to have done that.

Spadequeen Wed 10-Dec-14 15:48:16

Have you spoken to your dad yet or are you still assuming?

shakemysilliesout Wed 10-Dec-14 17:07:01

I think ppl will go to your wedding over his if they've already been to his first.

namechange47583 Wed 10-Dec-14 17:40:58

Thanks everyone

Cheesebuster that was a short post grin

Spadequeen still assuming I'm afraid, I have tried to contact my dad again twice and still no response. I don't really want to ask anyone else other then my sisters because I don't want to look like I am shit stirring.

mommy2ash Wed 10-Dec-14 17:48:25

why worry about the people who don't want to go to your wedding that's their prerogative. enjoy your day with the people who choose to go

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