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to think that having a baby so that you can spend more time with your other kids is a bit back to front?

(11 Posts)
ReputableBiscuit Tue 09-Dec-14 12:59:28

First of all I know this is NONE of my business so IABU. also the family in question will love and cherish the child. I'm just wondering if other people find the logic a bit random.

Friend expecting 3rd baby. Lovely news but slightly surprising as after she had DD2 18 months ago, she was very much of the 'never doing that again, family complete' school of thought and gave away all their baby stuff as soon as outgrown etc. Just last month she gave away their jumperoo and was saying that she couldn't wait until next year when DD2 would be out of nappies and she'd never have to change one again.

So I tentatively wondered if baby 3 might have been a happy accident? No says friend, I hate being at work away from the children (she also has DD1, 3.5) so I wanted another maternity leave. I laugh at this, thinking she's joking, but she says she is deadly serious. she can't stand leaving the kids with the nanny all day and missing bedtime but can't afford to give up work, so she is having another baby so she can 'spend a year at home with the children before DD1 starts school'.

While I can see the logic of that, doesn't it mean she will have to have endless babies in order to make sure she gets to spend extra preschool time with each one IYSWIM?

ppeatfruit Tue 09-Dec-14 13:08:51

Weird, I wonder what her firm thinks about it? Surely she could afford it if she gave up her nanny to be a STAHM? Or became a minder or something she could combine with being with her L.O.s

CocobearSqueeze Tue 09-Dec-14 13:10:46

Sure she would need more kids but she's probably just saying it. I wouldn't take it too seriously

TarkaTheOtter Tue 09-Dec-14 13:13:27

Do you think perhaps she was trying to get you to mind your own business when you tentatively asked her whether she'd had contraceptive failure?

ReputableBiscuit Tue 09-Dec-14 13:14:53

Heh no we have a very frank friendship. She has said far more blunt things to me. We don't really do minding our own business.

NoSquirrels Tue 09-Dec-14 13:18:48

It's not entirely logical, but I do sort of see what she's thinking.

I loved having my second maternity leave with DC1 around - it was hard work but it was really precious time also. Then DC2 sort of missed out on that, because of being the final baby. So I'm sure it wasn't the defining factor in wanting to have a third child, but I can see how it appeals.

The preschool years are so short.

Mammanat222 Tue 09-Dec-14 13:32:04

Our second child wasn't exactly planned (result of sex once that cycle shock) but I was thrilled when it dawned on my that my maternity leave will coincide perfectly with the lead up to DS starting nursery.

I'll have a year with both my children before DS starts full time nursery.

Couldn't have planned it better if I'd tried to be honest.

(there'll be a 26 month gap between kids and we always knew we wanted number 2, we just weren't actively TTC)

Maternity leave for me is a massive downside though, it really does hit us financially and there are no positives in me not working money-wise.

Sprink Tue 09-Dec-14 13:34:57

She hasn't thought this through to its logical conclusion, has she?confused

Andrewofgg Tue 09-Dec-14 13:42:32

Could she have twins and put one into storage until maternity leave on the other has run out?

Andrew - behave yourself!

simontowers2 Tue 09-Dec-14 13:49:31

Some people just aren't very bright so perhaps give her some leeway.

black2cat Tue 09-Dec-14 13:58:49

I understand it, even though it doesn't have any logic.

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