I've just had a massive barney with DH about MIL. She had just phoned and said that she wanted to come up and see the kids for Christmas. SIL (her daughter) and her family are coming up our way on New Year's Day to see BIL's mum (who lives in the same town as us, rather randomly). She lives 2.5 hours drive from us.
Whilst she was on the phone...
DH: it's OK if MIL comes up over New Year, for two or three nights, isn't it?
Me: But are coming over new year.
DH: Well I'm sure we can squeeze her in somewhere
Me: (I have IBD and am currently in a rather bad flare) But what about all the people using the toilets?
DH: It'll be fine
Back story: MIL very obviously favours her daughter and other son, as well as their children. DH is treated like the poor relation, as are our children - this despite the fact that he's always the one she turns to when she needs help with stuff.
She never makes the effort to come and see us because 'it's too far,' despite the fact that when SIL and family were living abroad, she'd go and visit them all the time. I mentioned this to DH and he said oh but she's getting old and frail now so doesn't want to drive this far and it's a long way on the train - this doesn't stop her gallivanting all over the fucking globe 10 times a year though, long and short haul.
SIL was also recently given a very expensive plot of land at the bottom of MIL's garden - this still hasn't been sorted out in the deeds either. DH and BIL have been given nothing. MIL also treats the grandchildren completely differently. She lavishes gifts and treats on the other three and barely bothers with ours.
She hasn't been to see us here since last Christmas and last time she was here she criticised my parenting - my DS, who was 2 at the time, is rather boisterous and energetic - saying that when she had three young kids, THEY never behaved like mine. I was absolutely furious! She had a bloody servant looking after her kids most of the time (in quarters in Singapore) and we are always being praised for the manners and behaviour of all three of our kids when we are out and about.
So, AIBU to not want to have my MIL up here whilst we already have guests? She's far too busy to come beforehand apparently. He's adamant that she has to come then - we accede to her wishes even though it's going to be massively inconvenient for me - I, of course, will be the one doing all the sleeping arrangements sorting out, and cleaning up etc. All this whilst also struggling with my health issues.
DH is making me feel as though I am being massively U. Am I?
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AIBU?
AIBU? Sorry...it's yet another MIL thread :(
31 replies
StillSquirrelling · 08/12/2014 22:46
OP posts:
islandmama ·
09/12/2014 00:55
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