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AIBU to think that if you gave somebody clothes for free they shouldn't sell it?

(20 Posts)
GermanGirlinLondon Mon 08-Dec-14 20:25:34

I am moving to Istanbul on a very short notice just before Christmas and I can't take all my things with me, so will put everything into storage and only take the bare minimum with me at the beginning. I thought what a great time to sort through my wardrobe and get rid of things I bought and never wore anyway. I dislike Ebay and the thought of selling it somewhere put me off giving the clothes away. Instead, I offered it for free on my local selling side. Lady gets in touch and wanted some clothes for her daughters, so the next day she comes round and takes everything with her. Lots of either never worn dresses or dresses that I wore once or twice and so on. That was last week and today I discovered that she posted all the dresses on the SAME selling page. AIBU to be angry? I wish I had made the effort and given the dresses to a charity shop instead.

Lomega Mon 08-Dec-14 20:30:17

sorry YABU.

Those clothes were given away to a random person on a selling page so they belong to that lady now to do with as she wishes...

Had you given them to a family member that meant something to you, and you were sure they'd get enjoyment out of them, then yes by all means you would be within your rights to be humpity they'd sold them on shortly after. But this isn't the case.

Its annoying but it's not worth getting het up over x

arethereanyleftatall Mon 08-Dec-14 20:33:26

Yanbu. I hate it when people do this. Tis rude.

CakeAndWineAreAFoodGroup Mon 08-Dec-14 20:35:30

You gave them to her and she's now selling some.

So what? They belong to her now you gave them to her.

If you had been that bothered you would have sold them yourself.

Summerisle1 Mon 08-Dec-14 20:37:47

YABU. Sure, it is annoying but you chose to give these clothes away and they now belong to someone else. There's little point in being angry about it. In fact, it seems to be quite usual for some people to make a nice little earner from selling on stuff they've got for free from this sort of local page.

notagainffffffffs Mon 08-Dec-14 20:39:32

Yanbu to be irritated, I do find it deceitful

DoubleValiumLattePlease Mon 08-Dec-14 20:40:14

I understand that it's annoying but if you found her on a selling page what did you think she was doing there? Hanging out waiting for someone who couldn't be arsed to do it for themselves is what! But the stuff is hers now - hers to sell, give away, dump - do what she likes.

listed Mon 08-Dec-14 20:41:09


I get all DD's clothes passed down from family, for free. When she's finished with them I sell them. They are mine to do with as I wish.

Tron123 Mon 08-Dec-14 20:41:12

I think mortally she is wrong to have sold them, on two counts, firstly they were given as a out of goodwill and therefore they were given in that spirit, and secondly she did not tell the truth as to why she wanted them. I think her actions show someone who lacks judgment and understanding of generosity.

Tron123 Mon 08-Dec-14 20:41:58


MrsItsNoworNotatAll Mon 08-Dec-14 20:44:14

I don't think I'd care really. I'd just be glad to get them off my hands.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos Mon 08-Dec-14 20:44:55

1. When I pass things on, I ask people to pass them on in turn, if they don't like/need them, or to put them in a charity shop. I quite specifically ask them not to sell things they got for free from me, so the benefit keeps going.

I believe, in cases like this, some people comment on the post: in this case, you might comment as to why she is selling them when she told you she was desperate for clothing for her daughters. It might not go well, if you do this.

AliceLidlDonkey Mon 08-Dec-14 20:44:59

Once you give something away I don't think you have any say in what is done with it by the person you give it to.

But the woman lied to get the things and so you are not unreasonable to be angry about that.

Summerisle1 Mon 08-Dec-14 20:45:43

I can't see where the morality issue comes into it. The OP gave all these clothes away. Her choice. She now discovers that the woman she gave them to has decided to sell them on. Woman in question being the current owner of these items and thus has a perfect right to dispose of them as she wishes.

I'm not saying this is an admirable piece of behaviour but I am suggesting that morality has little to do with it. If the OP didn't wish to witness this opportunistic behaviour then she should have taken the clothes to a charity shop or sold them herself.

Tron123 Mon 08-Dec-14 20:52:11

I am afraid that the actions of the women in this case deter people from giving things away to strangers which is a pity. A genuine act of kindness .....

RedSoloCup Mon 08-Dec-14 20:57:37

YANBU, a colleague had a little baby girl a year behind me, I gave her some lovely bits all excellent condition then saw them on fb sales.....

The air was blue but she took them down and I haven't given her anything since!

Ragwort Mon 08-Dec-14 21:15:43

It is rude and disrespectful to you but why didn't you just drop them off at a charity shop? Or phone a charity shop and they will usually pick them up.

Melawen Mon 08-Dec-14 21:22:16

I think it's extremely bad manners on her part, but once something has been given away it's not your responsibility anymore so there's not much point getting worked up about it.

revealall Mon 08-Dec-14 21:28:58

Profiting from other people's goodwill is shit in my book.Yes you gave them to her but she lied. If she had said I'll sell them on and give you a cut that's one thing but pretending you need free stuff to make money is another.
Crap behaviour.
Give them to charity and let them make money honestly is better.

bigbluestars Mon 08-Dec-14 21:34:46

I wouldn't care. Once you give something away you cease to have control over it.

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