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AIBU to not want to know what other children are telling their mums about mine?

(6 Posts)
DontTellTales Mon 08-Dec-14 14:55:08

I have a few good friends at the school gates and we chat daily as well as meeting up outside of school. Some of our children are friends some aren't (but not enemies, they just don't play together).

There are a few mums who think that as they want to know exactly what is going on in their children's friendship groups (as is told by their own DCs) then we all do and there are occasions when I get little comments about what DD has said or done that is normal playground do stuff and I don't want to get involved.

Don't get me wrong, if it's serious I want to know but then the school would let me know in this instance, when it's petty playground dramas I don't want to be told by other parents "X said your DD said this to mine", "oh X said your DD laughed about this the other day" and "X said you DD and others did this." Not one of these instances was anything other than the usual playground stuff and there is always a slightly different version depending on who's saying it because children get things wrong/mixed up or embellish slightly to not want to get into trouble themselves.

These parents are adamant they want to know and will say "oh and I'm sure you want to know too" but actually I don't. If I am told I then feel I need to get involved in a petty squabble between children and have to question DD on something that doesn't warrant my involvement.

So AIBU? I'm not talking about serious matters. If there is anything serious then the school does a good job of informing us.

Fallingovercliffs Mon 08-Dec-14 14:59:39

YANBU. They sound like parents who live through their children and have no other matters of interest to talk about.

5ChildrenAndIt Mon 08-Dec-14 15:00:06

the pits is when parent-volunteers do it!

if my DS was notably scared/random/delightful - I'd expect teacher to have a word. I certainly don't want Amy's mum loudly collaring me in the playground to give me a breathless retelling of the day's minutiae.

HamPortCourt Mon 08-Dec-14 15:02:19

mobile phone glued to ear at all times in the playground OP.

Only way to avoid it other than looking totally disinterested and repeating over and over "I don't think it is healthy to get involved in DDs friendships"

Bulbasaur Mon 08-Dec-14 15:06:41

Unless my child has gone home to complain to me, I really wouldn't care. Even then I'd help her figure out a way to solve her problem and the best way to deal with her friend the next day. It'd be a good opportunity to teach her some problem solving skills. I'd never get in touch with the parents though over. Kids don't need adults meddling in their silly day to day hang ups, and giving them more importance than they warrant.

Obviously this doesn't apply to bullying.

SquinkiesRule Mon 08-Dec-14 15:17:25

They sound like our neighbors. I try to stay well out of it. I think we should back off and let them run their own friendships, so long as all is well. Needing to know all minor details seems a bit over the top to me.

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