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AIBU?

To find this announcement a bit strange

26 replies

Fallingovercliffs · 08/12/2014 13:48

A colleague is going to New York with her boyfriend next week and has told several of us that they are 'going to get engaged' while they are over there. AIBU to think that she is already engaged if they have agreed to get married?

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RichTeas · 08/12/2014 13:50

Unofficially engaged and officially engaged, perhaps?

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DoraGora · 08/12/2014 13:50

They're probably going to swap rings, have a nice meal and ride around in a pony trap.

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londonrach · 08/12/2014 13:51

Or maybe shes hoping. Do agree she unofficially engaged..

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Thewrongmans · 08/12/2014 13:51

Yes, really weird. I know lots of people who talked about getting engaged and then were 'surprised' by their intended. At least they said they were surprised

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SaucyJack · 08/12/2014 13:53

You know what they mean. They know what they mean. We all know what they mean.

You could just be happy for them.

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Quitelikely · 08/12/2014 13:54

Why is this bothering you?

They are waiting until they get to the big smoke.

Be happy about it.

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Nomama · 08/12/2014 13:54

Oh, you do lack that certain romance! I had no idea Bah Humbug had spread so far!

What is wrong with planning an engagement moment? I had my ring for about 2 months before nowDH gave it to me at his mum's house on Christmas morning. It was saved for her enjoyment and did nothing to spoil our feelings of being engaged.

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december12 · 08/12/2014 13:56

You're right but I think you could find other things to be bothered about.

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Fallingovercliffs · 08/12/2014 13:58

I do have other things to be bothered about thank you. I am just confused as to what point people consider themselves engaged as to me, it is when you both agree to get married.

Saucy where did I say I wasn't happy for them???

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HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs · 08/12/2014 13:58

How old are they?
When I told my Nana that DH had asked me to marry him, she asked "So are you going to be engaged?"

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Fallingovercliffs · 08/12/2014 13:59

They're about thirty Home.

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AuntieStella · 08/12/2014 14:00

Maybe she's planning to propose? (and I'd sure of acceptance, of course).

Yes, I think it's a bit weird to announce before the event, especially when it would be just as exciting to do so in a few days time with the concrete news. But harmless weird IYSWIM.

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SaucyJack · 08/12/2014 14:01

They obviously consider an engagement begins after a formal proposal and exchange of engagement rings.

It's quite clear to me. I really don't understand why- out of all the things in the world- this is what's nitpicking you.

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Fallingovercliffs · 08/12/2014 14:02

Why do you bother coming on AIBU Saucy if you get annoyed about idle conversations about relatively minor things?

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Fallingovercliffs · 08/12/2014 14:03

I agree Auntie harmless weird, but I think it does take some of the excitement away from the official announcement when they've already started telling people beforehand that they're 'going to get engaged'.

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SaucyJack · 08/12/2014 14:04

Because I love a good froth. Next question?

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Fallingovercliffs · 08/12/2014 14:05

But you object to other people having a bit of a debate about something that isn't earthshattering? Strange.

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DoraGora · 08/12/2014 14:07

How formal does engagement need to be, these days, is a fair question.

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justmuddlingalong · 08/12/2014 14:08

So would you find it weird if a friend told you they were planning on having a baby, while not yet being pregnant?' Op.

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Fallingovercliffs · 08/12/2014 14:09

Yes but "really don't understand why- out of all the things in the world- this is what's nitpicking you" is a bit of a daft comment on a forum where people talk about all kinds of everything.

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Fallingovercliffs · 08/12/2014 14:10

No, because the decision to have a baby doesn't mean you are definitely going to get pregnant.

However, the decision to get married does surely mean you are going to get married.

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Flywheel · 08/12/2014 14:12

I agree with you op, but I suspect it's probably more common than we realise. Her mistake was to admit to you that this is what they were planning.

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SoupDragon · 08/12/2014 14:13

Well, no because engagements do end.

Having said that, I do agree with your OP; I think it is odd to announce you are going to get engaged. each to their own though.

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DoraGora · 08/12/2014 14:15

Actually, when I was doing my A Levels people had lots of temporary engagements. I don't know what things are like nowadays. A fiance/ee was just a silly one-upmanship.

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BackforGood · 08/12/2014 14:20

I agree with you too OP - to my mind, once the pair of you have agreed that you will get married, that is when your engagement starts.
Possibly she could have said 'to celebrate getting engaged' or something instead.
However, I also agree with you that it's nice to have a bit of a chat about things that you think are a bit odd, and wonder if it's just you that thinks that way, and that every thread doesn't need to be of earth shattering importance.