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Aibu to think that being beautiful is a disadvantaged

(88 Posts)
Starbucksguardian Sat 06-Dec-14 16:51:36

Was watching the 10 hrs walking in nyc as women video and it got me thinking being beautiful Is actually a disadvantage. If you are male or female your more likely to be disliked (jealousy). Also people are more likely to want to put you into situations were you are pressured into having sex.

Starbucksguardian Sat 06-Dec-14 16:52:38 This is the link

bakingtins Sat 06-Dec-14 16:53:28


squoosh Sat 06-Dec-14 16:54:29


There might be one or two negatives but overall being beautiful gives people a massive life advantage.

Starbucksguardian Sat 06-Dec-14 16:55:34

I think I would rather be average. After that video you should watch.

squoosh Sat 06-Dec-14 16:56:54

I saw the video weeks ago when it first came out. I still disagree with you.

CupidStuntSurvivor Sat 06-Dec-14 16:58:56

Though I get where you're coming from after that video, being beautiful undoubtedly has more perks than drawbacks.

YouTheCat Sat 06-Dec-14 16:59:22

Are you Samantha Brick?

notagainffffffffs Sat 06-Dec-14 16:59:25

Tbh I think this woman is average- not in a cruel way but shes not stunning. Some of those men are fucking creepy though.

jimmycrackcornbutidontcare Sat 06-Dec-14 17:00:08

I haven't watched the video but I think you are being a bit unreasonable. I think the advantages would outweigh the disadvantages. I think beautiful people are no more likely to be used for sex than others. I think people who give a certain impression through the way they act and present themselves are more likely to attract people who use others for sex.
I think some people would be jealous but mostly people like attractive things, including people. I also think most people have something beautiful about them - eyes, smile, laugh etc. There are very few unattractive people in the world. Though this depends on your tastes and what you perceive as beauty.

notagainffffffffs Sat 06-Dec-14 17:00:48

What I mean to say is shes not being hit on because shes beautiful, shes being hit on for being a young woman

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Sat 06-Dec-14 17:01:29

I think it's a double edged sword isn't it, is that the right term? It confers advantages but also disadvantages.

I also think there is a personality aspect - if you are very beautiful and so get stared at all the time and lots of attention and stuff and you are very shy it is very disconcerting and can be upsetting, or so I've heard grin

However, I don't really agree with your OP.I don't think street harassment or pressure around sex etc have much to do with being beautiful at all. She would have got loads of shit still pretty much whatever she looked like. The best indicators for sexual assault / coercion / street harassment etc are being female, and being young, I'd think. On MN it seems that for most women, street harassment peaks at around 14 to 25, and it's got nothing to do with beauty and everything to do with arsehole men who see young women and girls as an "easy target".

So YABU I think.

StarlingMurmuration Sat 06-Dec-14 17:02:15

Being rich and white are also serious drawbacks to success, I hear.

Starbucksguardian Sat 06-Dec-14 17:02:20

No I'm not Samantha brick she doesn't own the topic of beautiful

RobinEllacott Sat 06-Dec-14 17:02:38

I think YANBU actually. Being attractive rather than plain is an advantage, but being drop-dead gorgeous and trying to have a normal life is actually pretty tough (obviously it's different if you want to be a model or actor or something). I have a dear friend who I've known for twenty years who is tall, blonde and head-turningly beautiful. She really struggled to be taken seriously professionally because people don't expect their accountant to look like her and assumed she couldn't possibly be bright as well as stunning. She gets harassed everywhere she goes (including by clients when we were both trainees - I was left alone).

She also ended up married to a total jerk who was only interested in her looks and left her when she was pregnant with their second child and throwing up every half hour. Meanwhile, I married someone who was more interested in brains than looks, and we're still together nearly twenty years later.

Vitalstatistix Sat 06-Dec-14 17:02:54

I think you are right in that being VERY beautiful, I mean truly stunning, can result in some hassle.

Also, being very very ugly (like me. I do not delude myself, I have a face like a bulldog sucking piss off a lemon, sadly) results in a lot of hassle as many people feel that they have the right to make comments. Some appear to think they are helping and that it will be brand new information to me that there appears to be a problem with my face and body. hmm

I think being average probably results in the least hassle. You blend into the crowd and are one face in a million like you.

That said, there are more positives to being stunning than to being ugly or even average. So many people are so shallow and that means that looks open doors that intellect and a good heart and a nice personality do not.

I think though that if you're a woman, you can't win no matter what. You get shit if you're beautiful, average or ugly. If you're slim or fat, clever or not. Sometimes I think it's really not about what you look like, just that you're a woman.

MrsWolowitz Sat 06-Dec-14 17:03:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreudiansSlipper Sat 06-Dec-14 17:03:59

what utter rubbish

people get jealous for many different reasons but it is their problem not the person they are jealous about

and its quite simple men need to stop treating women as sexual objects, women are treated this regardless of how they look

I certainly got my fair share of leering at when I was young, yes I was pretty (I blossomed more attractive latter on) but it was because I was more vulnerable that these twats thought it was ok to make passing remarks about my face or body which at times was very upsetting

U2TheEdge Sat 06-Dec-14 17:04:06

I remember going out one night to the pub where they had karaoke with a band.

People were getting up and singing and others were clapping and dancing. I used to go every week and there was always crap singers and good singers but they all got the same reception.

Up came this stunning woman, I have not seen anyone as beautiful as her in real life before or since. She could also sing. I swear, people didn't clap or dance or act in the way they normally do. Me and my mum were quite shocked at how the whole atmosphere changed. I remember it so clearly and spoke to her for a while after.

So yeah, sometimes there are disadvantages. Would I like all the advantages of what beauty brings still? yep I would. They seem to vastly outweigh the disadvantages.

U2TheEdge Sat 06-Dec-14 17:08:11

Oh and as for the video. I see a pretty woman but certainly not beautiful or stunning. Just a normal every day pretty woman with a good figure.

Mulligrubs Sat 06-Dec-14 17:09:54

The advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. I'd rather be stunningly beautiful than really ugly as it happens I am averagely pretty lol

JackShit Sat 06-Dec-14 17:12:28

Nope YABU. I'm ugly and it sucks bigtime sad

Starbucksguardian Sat 06-Dec-14 17:17:00

I'm average but I see how people react to stunning people. Sometimes it quite blatant. Their was a stunning 16 year old going into town on the bus. He was let in front by some women in their late 30s early 40s (the plus side) but he was also harassed for his number by 3 girls his age (downside)

OttiliaVonBCup Sat 06-Dec-14 17:18:42

She also ended up married to a total jerk who was only interested in her looks and left her when she was pregnant with their second child and throwing up every half hour. Meanwhile, I married someone who was more interested in brains than looks, and we're still together nearly twenty years later.

What utter patronising bollocks.
You seem to suggest she is a bad judge of character, that has fuck all to do with being beautiful.

As for the OP, no, it opens all sorts of doors, you do choose what to make out of it though.

Starbucksguardian Sat 06-Dec-14 17:19:12

I think it depends on what you define as beauty like I think lana Del rey is amazingly beautiful but people don't think seem to think she is all that.

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