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Was this nurse right?

(54 Posts)
Elllimam Sat 06-Dec-14 12:45:48

I am currently in hospital with my fairly sick 18 week old. While I was waiting for the doctors round the nurse with them (who has been looking after us this morning) came up to me and said in an angry way that it was professional courtesy for me to have informed her I was a nurse. I am a nurse but I specialise in dementia care and research so therefore didn't think it was relevant. AIBU to be a bit annoyed? (I presume they have a note that a parent is a nurse as my husband informed the dr last night that he is a paediatric nurse)

Greyhound Sat 06-Dec-14 12:47:45

No, that doesn't sound right to me - what business of her's what your job is???

Cheeky cow.

cherubimandseraphim Sat 06-Dec-14 12:48:06

She's being ridiculous - there's certainly no obligation on you to inform her of anything and even if she did think it was a "professional courtesy" a courtesy is just that! How rude of her.

Hobby2014 Sat 06-Dec-14 12:48:15

I might be really naïve but why does it matter what your profession is when you/your child is in hospital? It's irrelevant so therefore, to me, you're not in the wrong.

AnythingNotEverything Sat 06-Dec-14 12:48:21

Why? Would she have treated you any differently if she's known? It's none of her business.

Hope your baby is better soon.

WorraLiberty Sat 06-Dec-14 12:49:35


I cant see how what either of you do for a living makes a difference?

LittleBairn Sat 06-Dec-14 12:50:32

YANBU and I would report her for a personal attack during a time of crisis.

WrappedInABlankie Sat 06-Dec-14 12:50:45

I would be concerned that she's getting angry about it. Sounds like she's pissed that you may/have seen something that could get her or someone else in trouble.

If you see her again I'd just say you didn't mention you were a dementia nurse as it isn't relevant to your child's care and it's none of your God damn business

FishWithABicycle Sat 06-Dec-14 12:52:31

yanbu when you've got a sick 18wk old baby you should feel the need to give two hoots about professional courtesy. What you are first and foremost is the worried mum of a poorly baby. The job you do before and after your maternity leave would only be relevant if you had any intention of second-guessing any of her care decisions, which presumably you wouldn't. She's being inconsiderate, unsympathetic and basically a crap nurse for making you feel bad about this.

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 06-Dec-14 12:52:52

I always tell HCP that treat myself and DD that I am a vet. I do it out of professional courtesy and I also find they have more direct conversations with me and are more likely to debate the possible treatment options so that any plan is a mutual decision.
On one occasion trying to remove sutures from 5 month old DD it actually resulted in the nurse holding DD and me removing the sutures as I was better at moving with my patient to remove the sutures.
Post my several surgeries my consultants have bypassed the regular wound and sutures out checks I do those myself.
It can really work to your advantage.

Purplepoodle Sat 06-Dec-14 12:55:48

A bit weird to be angry but would have thought it was courteous to mention you were a nurse.

sashh Sat 06-Dec-14 12:56:14

She's wrong.

As you undoubtedly know if a relative is a nurse or medical professional it can make communication easier but there is no obligation.

DixieNormas Sat 06-Dec-14 12:57:45

No, its none of her business what you do. It would make me think her care would have been different in some way if she'd known.

watchingthedetectives Sat 06-Dec-14 13:00:00


I try not to tell them what I do as it either makes them nervous or they assume a level of knowledge which may not be there.

Also find patients that throw into the conversation 'by the way I am a medical negligence lawyer' particularly irritating as if you were deliberately doing everything wrong but now they have arrived you might try to be a bit more careful

Elllimam Sat 06-Dec-14 13:02:09

Thanks everyone, I would have told her if I had felt it would help but I genuinely don't have much clue about paediatric (or indeed medical) nursing. She came back round there and I said I specialised in dementia (which I would have done before if she'd have given me the chance)

DixieNormas Sat 06-Dec-14 13:07:38

I wouldn't bother telling them unless they asked or unless they were trying to teach me to do something I already knew (injections after ds3 was born)

x2boys Sat 06-Dec-14 13:15:02

I,m a mental health nurse I worked in dementia care for a long time ,I do mention that I,m a nurse if I,m in hospital not out of professional courtesy as I fail to see what on earth my experience and expertise have to do with my childs care but I ind usually they explain things a little better if they know you work in health care.

Floggingmolly Sat 06-Dec-14 13:18:20

God, did she expect you to take over some of your child's care yourself? confused. Utterly irrelevant and she was being ridiculous.

MrsMaker83 Sat 06-Dec-14 13:19:15

Sounds like she might be lazy amd put more effort into her work if she knows a patient or relative is in the medical profession and therefore are more aware of what she is doing and why.

She was very unreasonable whatever her reasons.

diddl Sat 06-Dec-14 13:19:15

"it can make communication easier but there is no obligation."

How so?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Sat 06-Dec-14 13:20:11

I think the nurse was wrong to speak to you like that.
I was in a situation like yours, in that my son was admitted to a childrens ward for treatment and I was a paediatric nurse (no longer practicing) I did not inform them of my qualification to start with (though I was recognised by a nurse on shift - though she was not my sons nurse - as we trained together). It was only when I was being patronised by a junior Dr I felt the need to say I was a qualified nurse.
Had that Dr not have treated me like that I would probably not have informed them, no need to, as the nurses were doing a fantastic job of treating him.
It was not your area of expertise. They don't need to know your job description in order to provide a good standard of care. I would be concerned she felt threatened by your expertise - has she not been providing the best care up till now?!
She should make sure her care standards are top notch no matter who she is caring for.

SirChenjin Sat 06-Dec-14 13:23:53

Ask to speak to the person in charge and ask if it's the policy of that particular ward that all nurses and doctors should declare themselves out of professional courtesy. I'm willing to bet that the answer is "no".

Sounds like the nurse in question has either done something she shouldn't have, or isn't as consistent as perhaps she should be and finds it easier to just be professional 'when it matters'

x2boys Sat 06-Dec-14 13:24:01

I think the nurse was being very unreasonable however and has no right to talk to any relative like that.

GraysAnalogy Sat 06-Dec-14 13:26:01

Got sod all to do with her. Maybe now she's questioning how she did something and that's why she's angry.

I never tell what my role is in healthcare, it's interesting to see reactions when they find out.

PicaK Sat 06-Dec-14 13:32:52

The outright sexism makes my blood boil tbh. She says a record saying one parent is a nurse - she automatically assumes that's you. Leaving aside just how rude she's being to you that's also insulting to your dh. But most importantly I hope your little one improves.

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