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to think it's so rude to get someone's name wrong?

(88 Posts)
JaneFonda Fri 05-Dec-14 21:18:10

My first name is hyphenated - imagine something like Mary-Anne but different names!

The amount of people who call me just 'Mary' when I have introduced myself with my actual name is frustrating, and, really strangely, I've been referred to so many times as 'Anne' - if I were to shorten my name to anything, it wouldn't be the second part of my name!

I can understand people struggling with difficult or foreign names that might not be clear how they're pronounced (my surname for example, I will never take offence to someone being unable to pronounce it!), but AIBU to think it's actually just rude to not call someone by the name they've introduced themselves as?

I don't think I am easily annoyed by things but this just seems like something that inexplicably annoys me.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Fri 05-Dec-14 21:21:10


usualsuspectsparkly3 Fri 05-Dec-14 21:23:17

Lifes too bleeding short really. Ja.


brokenhearted55a Fri 05-Dec-14 21:23:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youareallbonkers Fri 05-Dec-14 21:24:16

Maybe they think Anne is your last name

WaitingForMe Fri 05-Dec-14 21:25:09

I have a name with lots of popular shortenings. None are my name. I used to ignore people unless they used my name but tend to politely correct them now.

In some ways it is useful. It reveals a lot about a person if they think it's acceptable to call you a name that suits them.

JaneFonda Fri 05-Dec-14 21:26:09

bonkers - If you introduced yourself as Sarah Smith, you wouldn't expect them to call you Smith though, surely?

Moln Fri 05-Dec-14 21:27:08

Dunno if YABU Fonda, do you correct them first time and say 'actually it's Mary-Ann' because if you do and then they continue then they are rude, and YANBU, if you don't then YABU, try telling them it is both names you want to be called by.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 05-Dec-14 21:27:19

Sorry but double Christian names annoy me intensely

Daisy Mae
Lily Ella
Sarah Louise


kim147 Fri 05-Dec-14 21:27:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youareallbonkers Fri 05-Dec-14 21:28:39

Hmmm that's a fair point, maybe they dint hear the 1st name?

DoJo Fri 05-Dec-14 21:29:16

I get you - it's annoying when people take it upon themselves to decide how you would like to be addressed. I am known to EVERYONE by a shortening of my name, and whenever people try to guess the long version they always pick the wrong one, which is, to my mind, the worst of all the options. When people ask, I just tell them that I only use 'shortened version' - if it's good enough for the Inland Revenue and mortgage company, then they will probably get by too...

Lifesalemon Fri 05-Dec-14 21:29:23

I struggle to remember names when they are single words so to expect me to remember two words, yes YABU. Erm, sorry what was your name again?

SirChenjin Fri 05-Dec-14 21:29:46

I'm sure that they really don't mean to offend you. Try and give them the benefit of the doubt, and simply smile and say "it's Mary-Jane".

If they still refuse to call you by your name once you've explained it, then yes, you're right to be annoyed - but up until then? Meh.

raltheraffe Fri 05-Dec-14 21:31:22

What is it with the recent spate of girls born called Ella-Mae, Daisy-Mae etc. What is going on?

Half the tickers on Netmums say proud mumma to likkle bubba Daisy Mae, perhaps it is in the Netmums recommended names list.

Not going to name my son, but he has a traditional name, there have been kings of England with the same name, but that is missing from the Netmums list of names beginning with the specific letter, but lots of weird names have been included.

Only1scoop Fri 05-Dec-14 21:31:59


If I was Inflicted with a hyphenated Christian name if be so happy to ditch one of them.

TheReluctantCountess Fri 05-Dec-14 21:32:36

My first name is hyphenated at I hate it when people use the full version.

whatiswrongwithyou Fri 05-Dec-14 21:36:34

YABU - I know someone with a hyphenated name and it's such a mouthful to say and also sounds very twee.

Riverland Fri 05-Dec-14 21:37:18

I'd struggle to use a hyphenated Christian name without gagging, tbh.

I expect people are doing their best with it, so, YABU.

JaneFonda Fri 05-Dec-14 21:40:56

Well, I'm glad I don't hate my name as much as you all do! grin

And to the poster who mentioned about the 'recent spate' of double names - I'm quite sure my name is not a recent one!

plantsitter Fri 05-Dec-14 21:43:59

Telling somebody their name makes you gag is pretty rude I must say.

I find it rude when people spell your name wrong in an email when you've WRITTEN IT DOWN just above where they're writing (depending on their email programme I suppose).

Only1scoop Fri 05-Dec-14 21:45:20

Op glad to hear you not a Millie Grace.... Or Molly Beau....or Amy Jo grin

JaneFonda Fri 05-Dec-14 21:47:12

Yes plant - that's the worst thing - it's like they've decided that you've spelt your own name wrong so they must correct you. grin

ChristmasJumperWearer Fri 05-Dec-14 21:48:57


A name is often the first and most important/personal thing we learn about a person. It's polite to make an effort with that one, important detail.

People often get my name wrong. Agree that it does tell you something about a person if they make an effort to get it right, even when it's a name they might not encounter every day. The people I take to my hearts are often the ones who get my name wrong, then correct themselves and apologise.

VixxenPlusAllTheOtherReindeers Fri 05-Dec-14 21:52:31

I find it strange when grown women say the whole name such as Sarah louise or kelly marie. The only one that doesn't bother me is ann marie for some reason.

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