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who is being unreasonable here, me or DP?

(13 Posts)
pissedoffcarer Fri 05-Dec-14 13:16:39

I'm fuming so need some outside perspective.

My DP moved in with me last year, he's worked in his current job for about 10 years. Anyway, when he moved in i came off benefits and we lived on his wage and my child tax credits, he has quite a good wage (for our area) but it wasn't enough for us to live on without scraping by each month, he said i needed to find a job

During my job search most jobs requires me to work weekends, now my DP is often offered over time at the weekend which is double time and gives us a real boost, i told him that i didn't want to work weekends mainly because of that, i was told it was tough and i was to get in the real world, you will just have to work whatever days they give.

So 6 month ago i got a job, its very flexible in that i can work opposite shifts to DP (saving on childcare) and i work every other weekend.

Now, this time of year lots of overtime on offer and all I'm hearing from DP every day is "there's so much fucking over time and i cant get in because you're working" every fucking day he's whinging about it.

Also on Fridays he starts an hour earlier when he's on evening shift, which clashes with me as my shifts stay the same, the kids are at school but it means that once a fortnight he has to walk to work (20 mins walk) and now that the weather is bad he's throwing a hissy fit because i have the car.

He wanted me to get a fucking job! I'm bringing an extra £800 a month to the family money which means I'm not having to go to him with my hand out if i need anything, less pressure on him to pay all the bills, we can have a few more luxuries etc but nope, because he has to walk to work once a fortnight

I know he wants me to quit, but why the actual fuck should i give up a job i like so that he can make more money. Id be fucking stupid to.

His argument is that 1) his job is more important because he makes around 3x more than me a month and 2) he asked me repetedly to finish earlier on that one day - yes I'll just tell my employer to make allowences for me so that DP doesn't have to get wet in the rain once a fortnight.

I'm fuming. Sorry if its a long post

MrsHathaway Fri 05-Dec-14 13:20:48


Because jobs grow on trees.

LaurieFairyCake Fri 05-Dec-14 13:21:56

With that extra money pay for a taxi so he doesn't have to walk (fucking diddums)

Get a babysitter so he can do extra work at weekends?

Katebeckett Fri 05-Dec-14 13:22:47

He is bu. Tell him to grow up and please don't give up your job!

LaurieFairyCake Fri 05-Dec-14 13:23:11

Sorry, what I'm trying to say is you've got plenty of money opportunities at the moment - that can buy you taxis, a cleaner, and a weekend nanny/babysitter. And you can easily afford it.

pissedoffcarer Fri 05-Dec-14 13:44:20

It would mean paying for somebody from 6am til about 11am on a Saturday and Sunday, it would cost too much i think

And i have no intention of giving up my job for anyone don't worry ��

pissedoffcarer Fri 05-Dec-14 13:45:45

Oh and it'll be "why should i have to pay for a taxi when i pay for the finance on that car every month" but i will suggest it.

Fudgeface123 Fri 05-Dec-14 13:46:05

I'd give up the partner before I gave up the job!

VanitasVanitatum Fri 05-Dec-14 13:48:16

Get him a bike and an umbrella hat smile

Quitelikely Fri 05-Dec-14 13:53:15

Can't he take a taxi? Surely if it's only once a fortnight it not going to make a dent in the finances!

Castlemilk Fri 05-Dec-14 14:03:25

I note you really seem to think of it as his money and yours, still, even though you've joined forces - and with his attitude, I can see why. He really does want it all, doesn't he? I mean, can you REALLY not literally split yourself in two so that he can get all the good stuff about being in a partnership, all the advantages to HIM, and none of the downsides or compromises? How uncaring of you grin

I'm glad you like your job and are keeping it. I have a feeling it might outlive the partnership. You moved in last year? Not long. Now you are seeing the real him - not the boyfriend on best behaviour, but the selfish side.

Good luck.

Goingintohibernation Fri 05-Dec-14 14:08:46

Wow, there really is no pleasing him is there? YANBU

pissedoffcarer Fri 05-Dec-14 15:19:11

We've been together 7 years but only lived together for a year, so his attitude is nothing new to me. And yet this once a fortnight argument is all my fault (he even actually said that) nothing to do with him being a whinge eh

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