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To not want ds to be a model

(40 Posts)
Themumalwayslate Wed 03-Dec-14 21:10:00

Ds 16 was scouted by a large reputable modelling agency when shopping with friends 3 weeks ago. He wants to go for the rest shoot but I don't think it is the right thing for him or are family. It is causing a lot of problems as well. Ds is a twin with ds2. This going to sound really bad but ds is more conventional if you know what I mean. He is 6ft has lovely deep set blue eyes and just has that unique striking look that models have. However I don't want him to end up with an eating disorder or give up at school. Also ds2 is really bitchy saying stuff like you could never model etc aibu saying no to ds?

Discopanda Wed 03-Dec-14 21:13:11

As long as he keeps up his studies I think you should say yes. DS2 is clearly jealous. Maybe just start slowly and see where it leads. Most male models are encouraged to live a super healthy lifestyle.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 03-Dec-14 21:15:30

It's a great opportunity to make money for his future career - uni is so expensive.

Honest, you'd be mad to try and stop him for those reasons.

Looseleaf Wed 03-Dec-14 21:16:00

I don't have a 16 year old yet but think rather than tell him yes or no, I would discuss it together with you raising your concerns, asking why he wants to do it etc. I'd ask guiding questions like can you see any possible dangers in what pressures you might feel for example and help him to think for himself and make a good decision together?
Probably not helpful but hope the best thing works out

Purplepoodle Wed 03-Dec-14 21:17:54

You should let him do it on proviso he keeps up with school. Poor ds2 is going to be jealous but you can't let them stop ds1.

Whatsthewhatsthebody Wed 03-Dec-14 21:18:24

Well as a family I think you should support him to do the shoot.

It may lead nowhere or it may lead him to a lucrative exciting career.

What would disturb me more is the lack of support here. Why is his twin being spiteful? Can understand him teasing him but if it's nasty then you need to stop him not stop your other child's opportunity.

He's 16, not sure you could really stop him anyway and if you tried you could foster massive resentment.

I would support him.

The vast majority of models are encouraged to be fit and healthy.

WorraLiberty Wed 03-Dec-14 21:20:55

What's the name of the agency?

They're not always as reputable as you might think but some people here might be able to put your mind at rest about them, and how they treat their young models.

perplexedpirate Wed 03-Dec-14 21:21:53

I would discuss your concerns but don't stop him if it's what he wants.
You'll have a lifetime of 'well I could have been a model but MUM said...'

Themumalwayslate Wed 03-Dec-14 21:22:03

I worry ds will be sexualised in away as he will only be valued for his looks. He looks very much like my mother who was a beauty queen in the 1950s and 60s she was only ever seen for her looks. It just worries me. Ds2 is very jealous he is 5'5 and more academic

Themumalwayslate Wed 03-Dec-14 21:27:43

He is 16 so can get a job which means I can't stop him.

Themumalwayslate Wed 03-Dec-14 21:28:03

He can get a job at 16 so I can't stop him.

spudmasher Wed 03-Dec-14 21:28:56

The classic story is being asked for huge amounts of cash for a 'portfolio' of shots that will get you work. Beware. Thoroughly check the credentials of the agency.
Hopefully it's a big well known name and he'll earn enough to see himself through Uni. Fantastic work if you can get it! Best of luck to him!

WorraLiberty Wed 03-Dec-14 21:29:33

What's the name of the agency?

Grokette Wed 03-Dec-14 21:39:44

Ah I have twin girls, we've been approached by talent agencies before, thankfully about both of them though. It would be very, very hard as a twin parent to deal with one of them doing modelling and the other not. Not sure how I'd handle it really. You work so hard to promote their individuality, but them something like just highlights their differences maybe a bit too much.

Sorry not much help but you do have my sympathies.

Parietal Wed 03-Dec-14 21:41:24

my cousin was scouted at 16, got lots of work & money. unlike her sister, she never went to uni but became fully part of the fashion world, then tried to move into acting. I don't think she was happy in either and she committed suicide a few years ago.

I would not want my children working as models, but I'd approach the problem with discussion / persuasion rather than ultimatums.

MoreBonkersThanBonkers Wed 03-Dec-14 21:44:06

If DS2 is more academic then it evens out doesn't it. smile. You wouldn't dream of stopping DS2 going to a more prestigious Uni than his brother in case it causes problems with his brother would you?

I would let him give it a try but only after thoroughly researching the agency. (Double and triple checking everything) Who know what it could lead too? He shouldn't be asked for any money.

Szeli Wed 03-Dec-14 22:05:33

i used to work for an agency, i now occasionally work alongside an 'agency'.

with the proper one we really looked after our boys, plus a lad with an ED wouldnt sell and at 16 you still get to decide, he can't sign a contract until 18.

what's the agency? if reputable let him do it, it's good money if he can get the work

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 03-Dec-14 22:15:53

Are we talking Storm, Elite, Select here?

Themumalwayslate Thu 04-Dec-14 16:20:23

I think we will see how it goes and decide from there

Gawjushun Thu 04-Dec-14 18:47:15

I'd say at 16 he's old enough to make a decision, but obviously there need to be strict rules and you'll need to do a bit of research to make sure he isn't being ripped off or exploited. He needs to realise that modelling isn't a long term career choice, and so his school has priority.

I think it'd be a good opportunity for him. And it'd be a shame to not give it a try and potentially regret it in future.

LittleBairn Thu 04-Dec-14 18:54:25

It's unfair to stop your DS1 based on his jealous brother. Will you stop DS2 going to Uni if DS2 doesn't get the grades?

CitizenFish Thu 04-Dec-14 18:57:39

you dont really get much say do you, as he is 16. You cant 'enforce strict rules'; he could just leave home and do as he please confused

id try offering sensible advice and support, to do what he decides

Gawjushun Thu 04-Dec-14 18:59:50

Oh, was going to add that he may soon change his mind when he realises that modelling is quite boring. Friends who have modelled tell me it can get very tiresome having people faff around you for hours, and it soon gets tedious. He may even quit after a couple of photo shoots.

LokiBear Thu 04-Dec-14 19:23:33

I was 'spotted' by a 'reputable' agency when I was 18. The photo shoot had an administration fee of £250 that they neglected to tell me about until the day of the shoot. I should have realised that being 5ft6 and a size 10 would not make me model material! I have no idea as to how to advise you with your son, but would suggest being cautious.

Housemum Mon 08-Dec-14 18:42:04

Do your homework, look up the agency online and see what clients they say they have. Then don't be afraid to call the companies and ask if they get models from X company as you wanted to be sure they are legit. No guarantee of course that your son would get work, but at least you'd know the agency weren't scammers.
I don't know anything about that age group, but for younger kids it involves a lot of being asked to go to castings at short notice, so be prepared for lots of fruitless train trips.
DD2 is coming up to 12 and I am not sure I want her to be modelling into her teenage years, precisely because I'm worried that she might get self-obsessed or feel pressurised to conform to a stereotype. Luckily my kids are different ages so there is no competition/jealousy even though the eldest didn't model.

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