Attempted rape at university (sensitive)(192 Posts)
Due to the very sensitive nature of this post I have name-changed (sorry) but I really need to chat this through. I'm not sure whether AIBU is actually the right place for this either but I am hoping for traffic.
My daughter is in her first year at a London University. She is in uni accommodation with 100's of others (all split between several buildings on same campus).
On her floor there are approx. 18 students with a male/female split.
They all seem like a very friendly and sociable bunch with no real issues until recently.
One of the male students has become more and more aggressive towards the female students and there have been a lot of misogynistic comments etc. A few of the female students have said that they feel very uncomfortable around him and some of the male students have approached him about his behaviour.
Over the past few weeks however, things have escalated. He accompanied one girl back to her room and attempted to rape her. She managed to defend herself and get him off and he left.
Other girls have reported that he would try to escort them back to their rooms and he seemed to pick out those that had been drinking heavily.
When challenged, he became very aggressive.
This has now been reported to the college and they seem to have acted very quickly. All of the students involved were asked to provide written statements (including my DD and several male students who have witnessed some of his behaviour).
He has been spoken to by the staff and tomorrow he will be moved out of this accommodation into a nearby block (on the same campus).
The girl who he attempted to rape has received a lot of support but has been told by the college that if she reports the attempted rape to the police and he is subsequently found 'not guilty' (which is likely as it's her word against his) then she could find herself expelled from the university.
So she has decided not to report it
I'm sure that the college have/are doing all they can but I feel so uneasy about this.
I think it's appalling that she is being threatened with expulsion.
He is now going to be moved into a new accommodation block with female students who no doubt, will be unaware of his reputation.
My DD and the other female students do not feel safe
I'm not really sure what I am asking here, I just feel very uncomfortable with the outcome but genuinely don't know what else the college can do.
Given the number of people who have reported his behaviour, don't they have enough to expel him and deport him back to his home country?
Your calm and reasoned thoughts please x
So the university feels that it is acceptable to expel a pupil for reporting a attempted rape, but not to expel a pupil with several reports of indecent behaviour
has been told by the college that if she reports the attempted rape to the police and he is subsequently found 'not guilty' (which is likely as it's her word against his) then she could find herself expelled from the university.
On what grounds? I don't think they are allowed to do that.
Agree if anyone should go it needs to be him.
What an awful situation.
I suspect the uni need more evidence in order to expel him. They should have moved him to an all male block though.
As for the victim being threatened with expulsion, I would also suspect that they have some sort of policy about "false" allegations, and a not guilty verdict would imply (to them) that it was a false allegation.
No bloody wonder that rape is such an under reported crime in this country.
Disgusting. I would be writing a letter to a few newspapers
On what grounds? I don't think they are allowed to do that
On the grounds that he could then turn around and claim that she harassed him (according to what the students were told this evening in a meeting with the warden and councillor)
I knew he was going to be a foreign (I.e. high fee paying) student, who they want to retain. Has anyone spoken to the student union welfare staff, who are more independent?
What a dreadful situation. Surely she has every right to report the attempted rape if she feels she wants to. What has it got to do with the University? Do they think it will seem racist?
Jesus that is fucking disgusting behaviour in the part of the university. Has the girl he attacked sought support from the NUS on this? They would be good people to have in her corner.
Oh I hadn't thought about them not wanting to lose his money
I am absolutely horrified that a student has been discouraged from reporting this crime. The fact that there may not be enough evidence to convict the perpetrator is a separate issue from her continued education at the University. She should definitely get independent legal advice as this seems the University are attempting to bury the issue. Is your daughter able to suggest this to her? The result of any police investigation has nothing to do with her university place surely! I am gobsmacked.
I just hope the University "grapevine" ensures that where ever he is placed other students are aware of the risk he presents. This University sounds negligent in regard to student welfare.
This is so very wrong. It was an assault this University would get into so much cr4p for blocking an adult from pressing charges. The accommodation maybe university property but she has every right to live in safety. He has already (misogyny) passed into warning territory before the criminal act comes into account. If they are threatening her expulsion I would go straight to the NUS with this.
This is appalling.
Do you know the girl in question or her parents? I'm worried that she is not getting the appropriate level of support here.
I would be f-ing fuming if this was my daughter and I would have immediately sued the Uni, firstly for failing to protect her and secondly for giving her such terrible advice about not reporting the assault.
The college have not done all they could do here. This is, according to the information you have provided, a person who has crossed the line in front of several witnesses on several occasions. There is every reason to believe he will do it again.
They should have expelled him and reported his actions to the police.
I don't see how it's any of their business, Tbh. They seem to be mistaking themselves for an American uni.
I don't think that they are concerned about a race issue as he is a white french student (not that it should be at all relevant) but I don't think it's that.
International tuition fees may be a factor though, hadn't thought of that.
What if someone else reported the incident to the police? Would they still investigate?
If he's foreign he is likely to be paying handsomely for his place, foreign students are often charged 3 times what home students get charged.
The university may hope that no report is made, so as not to lose the funding if he is expelled.
That is cynical and morally wrong. They have acted quickly to remove him, but, as a previous poster wrote, he should be in an all male block.
Hopefully he will be monitored, formally by the university & informally by the student body once word gets round.
I work for a university and am horrified if this is actually how this is being handled.
Yes, the problem with this type of crime is evidence and if he is treated harshly without being convicted of a crime he could take legal action against the university. I can only imagine that's what they are concerned about. Fees are by the by.
Unfortunately there are an equal number of unpleasant people in universities as in other areas of life. We are not immune.
The University's handling of this is a microcosm of what is so wrong in our society with respect to it being a Rape Culture.
I think this girl should go to the police, speak to Rape Crisis and make it clear to the deans of the university that she will go public with any threats to her remaining a student there if there is an investigation no matter what the outcome.
I hope she will be supported in that by her family and friends.
Just seen he is an EU student - in that case the fee issue is moot. It's non-EU students who bring in premium fees.
Wow that is horrible i would be scared too. He cannot be deported just on that. Also i dont understand how the uni will Expel her for reporting something its none of their business inthat respect as its a criminal matter
I dont really know what to say tbh
if she is a member of NUS she may be able to get free legal representation
Her family are aware, yes and she is going home for the weekend. We are trying to persuade DD to move into temporary accommodation for a few days whilst he moves out but she wants to stay where she is with her friends so that none left alone.
There is no male-only accommodation. Everything is mixed.
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