To leave my baby sleeping

[ToTheMoonAndStars]

My poor 12 week old DS has reflux which has been particularly bad the past week. He's exhausted from it all but the poor mite can't get comfy. He has been sad and unhappy for days now and has only smiled a handful of times. I'm battling with the GP for drugs other than gaviscon which has not worked, but that's another story...

We have to swaddle him to get him to sleep usually as he's such a wriggler he just wakes himself up every few minutes.

However this evening the swaddle caused us more problems as he's also really windy and he's desperate to kick his legs about to help move the wind.

He's currently unswaddled in our bed and after falling asleep on me, finally seems comfy sleeping on his stomach. He can kick his legs out but his hands aren't all over the place waking him up.

I now can't sleep though, because obviously he shouldn't be on his front . If I move him he'll wake and probably just start crying once he realises how uncomfortable he is. But I know that I should. I might just leave him for a bit whilst I stay awake to give him a bit of respite at the very least.

(mostly just needing to vent during this v sleep deprived night!)

[FishWithABicycle]

Of course it's ok not to move him but no need to stay awake yourself. He'll be fine on his front. You're that knackered you'll be able to kip anywhere if you allow yourself to relax - go grab some sofa cushions and a spare blanket and make a little campbed on the floor nearby - you'll be asleep in 20 mins.

[Bulbasaur]

I know this is unpopular advice, but back in the day, it was advised to let babies sleep on their stomachs for best health. Then it was their sides. Now it's their backs. Billions of babies survived and did just fine, the entire baby boomer generation are stomach babies and they're the largest population atm.

As recently as 7 years ago a friend was advised to put her babies with reflux on their stomachs so they wouldn't choke if they spit up.

So don't worry. Get some sleep. You'll feel better after a nap. :)

[lanbro]

Both my babies spent most of their first months sleeping on my chest, we both slept well with no problems.

[sillymillyb]

My ds would only ever sleep on his tummy with his bum in the air. There may be a thread on here about it as I panicked and kept turning him over, constantly waking him up. My hv told me not to be so daft in the end and said a sleeping baby is a sleeping baby and to get some sleep too! So, I'm repeating the advice for you as well - leave him be and go to sleep too!

[icklekid]

Friends whose babies have reflux find they sleep much better on their tummies- you can get monitors with pads to monitor breathing/movement if you are concerned

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

There's a reason the advice changes, and that's because lots of babies DIDNT survive sleeping on their fronts.
For this reason I follow the guidelines.

Sorry to hear your baby is uncomfortable though :( does being propped up help?

[wheresthelight]

My dd slept on her front from about 4 weeks old as she would scream the place down on her back, if it worries you get an angelcare monitor with sensor pad for when he is back in his cot but don't keep yourself awake he will be fine!

good luck with the doctor

[dancestomyowntune]

My babies have never liked sleeping on their backs so I used to put them on their side to drop off and then try to carefully move them once they were asleep onto their back. Seemed to work for us.

[Bulbasaur]

There's a reason the advice changes, and that's because lots of babies DIDNT survive sleeping on their fronts.

Don't be silly. For starters SIDs never affected "lots" of babies in the first place. It was only a rare and tiny percentage, so rare, it's a few decimal points before it stops being just 0%. Of that tiny percentage babies that slept on their stomachs were more likely to die than those that didn't. That means even babies on their backs die. Also, of those likely to die are babies born in winter months. The point is, if your baby is going to die, it's going to die. Putting a baby on their stomach isn't a death sentence anymore than having a December baby. It just goes against recommended guidelines.

[ToTheMoonAndStars]

In the end he woke himself up. I couldn't bear to see him so uncomfortable so bough him downstairs and let him nap in his swing.

Have concluded that he's not comfortable in many positions, so when he finds one he likes, I'm going to leave him, wherever that may be!

bulbasaur your reply was really useful actually, and you are right, even when on their fronts the rate of SIDS was still low. It's not an immediate death sentence and I think ultimately he needs to sleep! He's only slept about 12 hours in the past 2 days :-(

[wheresthelight]

at the risk of being flamed...there is no conclusive link between any of the guidelines and SIDS, there are strong suspicions but nothing more. There is also strong evidence to suggest it is caused by a genetic abnormally that has yet to be identified.

as awful as it is I agree with the previous poster, if the baby is going tongue from SIDS then it is going to die irrespective of what you do or don't do.

the guidelines are there imo to make parents feel like they are doing something to minimise the risks but in reality until the actual cause is known they there really isn't anything you can do.

[Discopanda]

I have a friend whose baby had bad reflux, she used a wedge pillow thing. My mum was told to put my brother and sister to sleep on their fronts then me on my back several years later and we're all alive.

[LovelyBranches]

My baby has had terrible reflux and I've raised one side of the crib which helps. I've also taken him to see a cranial osteopath who has been able to treat him. Its very gently and does help.

[Handsoff7]

Some pretty dangerous advice here.

The rate of infant mortality has dropped from 60 per thousand to 4.5 per thousand since the time of the baby boomers so just because it was what was done then doesn't make it a good idea.

SIDS is still the number one killer of otherwise healthy babies.

The back to sleep campaign is credited with halving the rates of SIDS.

Although SIDS is still not fully understood, there are lots of factors that affect risk and the stats are pretty clearcut.

As my baby was tiny and this is a massive risk factor, I sought to minimise the others and so she never slept on her front in the early days. If you have minimised every other risk factor, just leaving this one may be a risk you can live with.

Raising the cot to an angle and ranitidine can help a lot with reflux.

[wheresthelight]

and it is equally likely that better ante and post natal care in hospitals and the community and a big drop in old wives tale remedies for illness is to thank for the fall in the SIDS rate.

unfortunately as it is not known what causes it then it is all just guesswork and supposition.

[OTheHugeManatee]

There's a nice, non-judgemental article here evaluating how great the increase in risk actually is from letting a baby sleep on its stomach.

Link