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AIBU to think that spending just 5 pounds on a grandchild's birthday present is being stingy

(387 Posts)
Gogorat Mon 01-Dec-14 19:30:57

Grandparents asked what DD aged 5 wanted for her birthday and we told them that she had shown a real interest in a (paperback) book as well as a plastic necklace each of which cost just under a fiver.

The birthday parcel arrived and I couldn't help noticing that it looked as if it only contained the small paperback. When I asked DH if there had been a problem getting the necklace he said that MIL had kept it back as a Xmas present for DD.

To say I was speechless is an understatement. Massively pissed off and hurt on DD's behalf as it feels to me that her own grandparents don't think that she is worth more than a fiver. DH thinks it's because I have issues with MIL but I know I would feel the same if it had been my own mother.

The thing is I would really not consider this to be an issue if I knew that my inlaws were hard up - but they're not. They have good pensions, a 300k home that they own outright, several (paid off) rental properties, expensive cars etc.


LineRunner Mon 01-Dec-14 19:32:22


ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Mon 01-Dec-14 19:32:24


It's really up to her.

BelleateSebastian Mon 01-Dec-14 19:32:42

As long as other dgs arent being treated preferentially then yabu, its up to them how much they spend grin

NeedsAsockamnesty Mon 01-Dec-14 19:33:30


She asked you what she wanted you gave 2 items she got one for birthday and one for Christmas.

JamaicanMeEatMincePies Mon 01-Dec-14 19:33:36

Um. in short, yes yabu hmm

Damn them for having the cheek to buy her something she wanted confused

LaurieFairyCake Mon 01-Dec-14 19:33:57

Why do you think they have all that money wink?

They don't spunk it on pointless stuff for 5 year olds

I don't think its ok to determine what other people spend on gifts - as they are gifts

Unless they're arseholes in other ways or there's some massive backstory then yes, on this you're unreasonable

escape Mon 01-Dec-14 19:34:02

I completely get where you are coming from.
People will tell you YABU as a gift is a gift and it's graceless to be unaccepting of anything given though.
Some people are completely black & White though. It's what you asked for, so it's what you got.
Isn't there an unspoken budget on these things normally? Wouldn't you have borne that in mind when they asked you!

PortofinoVino Mon 01-Dec-14 19:34:03

Does your daughter worry about how much things cost........or just you?

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream Mon 01-Dec-14 19:34:04

Yes, you are. They've got her a gift. Be grateful. It's up to them how much or how little they spend.

VodkaValiumLattePlease Mon 01-Dec-14 19:34:15

Bloody hell thats tight!

gamerchick Mon 01-Dec-14 19:34:23

A fiver for a plastic necklace?

Wombat22 Mon 01-Dec-14 19:34:35

Why would your DD be "hurt" when she got the book that she wanted? confused I'm sure a 5 year old would not care about the cost. Surely it's not about the money

Yes. If your dd is happy it really, really shouldn't matter how much it cost.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Mon 01-Dec-14 19:34:40

YABU. They asked what to get her and you told them. And they bought it. Bastards.

If you had said she wanted a whole set of books and a couple of dvds, they may well have bought those too.

YABU for being annoyed at them "only spending a fiver" - they bought what you suggested.

MrsJossNaylor Mon 01-Dec-14 19:36:20

YABVU. I hope you didn't really ask if there had been a "problem" getting the necklace?! I'm embarrassed for you.

ApocalypseThen Mon 01-Dec-14 19:37:07

Next time suggest an appropriate budget in line with your expectations.

madsadbad Mon 01-Dec-14 19:37:10

You do know how much someone cares about/loves/ etc etc another is not based on money then spend don't you?

furcoatbigknickers Mon 01-Dec-14 19:37:35

Think of all your inheritence wicked mwaaaahhmm

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 01-Dec-14 19:37:51

FIL is getting DD the Barbie Dream House. DM and DF are getting her a toy horse. FIL spends no time with her, even though he is closer and it's easier. DM and DF love, cherish and miss her, spend time with her when they can, Skype every week, worship the ground the God-child walks upon. The money simply doesn't matter.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 01-Dec-14 19:38:13

YABU. I don't remember ever getting expensive presents from my grandparents, something like a book was the norm.

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle Mon 01-Dec-14 19:39:08


Iamblossom Mon 01-Dec-14 19:40:03


How very materialistic of you. What happened to "it's the thought that counts"?? Your 5 year old won't care less!!!

I've heard everything now.

tinkerbellvspredator Mon 01-Dec-14 19:40:28

Personally I would be very surprised if this happened in my family. Have they not spent similar amounts though in previous years and this is just how they do things?

But I understand you being pissed off as I would be too tbh

themartian Mon 01-Dec-14 19:40:32

yabu. A gift is a gift, don't fall into the trap of thinking that an expensive gift equals more love.

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