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Frozen party complaint -AIBU?

(87 Posts)
KatsMother28 Mon 01-Dec-14 13:09:06

Apologies in advance - this is gonna be a long one but not wanting to drip feed I'm going to put it all out there and let you decide.

After taking dd (almost 3) to a recent party thrown by our local SureStart she now refuses to watch Frozen - which she previously loved, due to the fact that she now "doesn't like Anna or Elsa".

In brief the reasons for this are -

When we first arrived Anna was inviting children to dance but despite being one of the first there and my daughter following her around the entire room she was ignored until every other child (in Elsa costumes) had said no before the performer even acknowledged her.

Dd insisted on going dressed as Sven (the reindeer) but was referred to by Elsa as Rudolf more than once - (you're frozen entertainers ffs! Know your subject!!)

Halfway through the party dd came off the dance floor to sit on some steps with her head in her hands - investigating why it appeared that "The big girl (Anna) won't hold my hand". She had again been following the performer to interact with her but was once again ignored.

Whilst I appreciate it was a very busy party there was surely a better ways of dealing with an over enthusiastic 'fan' than just to ignore them, especially when the child is a toddler who doesn't understand that this isn't 'the' Anna and Elsa?

I am now left with a toddler who screams the house down at the merest suggestion anything to do with Frozen including her friends' birthday parties which are obviously popular at the moment.

As an aside to all this the choice of music (beside the little Disney they played) was not appropriate for a toddlers party - being top 40 hits better suited to a teen disco. This was interspersed with random banal comments from the Elsa performer who constantly interrupted the few tracks that were suitable, randomly changing music halfway between tracks. It was also played at such a volume that it could be heard from the bottom of the car park.

The only reason I didn't address this with them in person on the day was because my daughter couldn't be induced to go anywhere near the performers by the end of the party.

I have found them on FB and sent them a message saying all this but the only response I got was to apologise for the experience but then dispute everything I said.

AIBU to post a complaint as a review on their FB page and am I being over sensitive parent with pfb syndrome or should I do it to try and give as honest a review as I can from my experience?

SoonToBeSix Mon 01-Dec-14 13:11:54

That's why I avoid sure start events full of rude clique people. Yanbu.

Floggingmolly Mon 01-Dec-14 13:14:54

How many toddlers were there? confused I'd imagine there was a very large crowd, with just two entertainer with two hands each
Sorry your child was upset, but it seems a bit of an over reaction (screaming every time she sees anything Frozen related)
Complaining would make you look like the mum of a pfb princess, I'm afraid.

Innocuoususername Mon 01-Dec-14 13:17:55

YABU. Ok, it doesn't sound great, but I think it is one of those things you chalk up to experience and move on. If they are disputing what you said via FB, chances are they'd delete a negative review anyway. I wouldn't waste any more mental energy on this.
And I'm afraid I'd view DD's newfound Frozen hatred as a blessing in disguise grin

NewNamePlease Mon 01-Dec-14 13:19:34

What exactly do you want? you got an apology.
Just be glad you don't have to watch frozen again.

justmuddlingalong Mon 01-Dec-14 13:19:36

If it was your Dd's birthday party, Yanbu. But it wasn't so I think Yabu. And just a bit Pfb. Let it go! grin

Innocuoususername Mon 01-Dec-14 13:21:08

Although I would mention this to the Surestart centre, they are supposed to be inclusive, educational, supporting EYFS etc and I don't think what you've described fits into that category. Mine does a little Xmas party, but it is a xmassy version of the usual activities IYSWIM.

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle Mon 01-Dec-14 13:21:17

Don't watch Frozen, then.

What's the big deal?

Heels99 Mon 01-Dec-14 13:23:22

Agree with the let it go, don't book these particular entertainers again. I assume the party was free so at least you didn't lose out financially

TheWitTank Mon 01-Dec-14 13:24:29

I agree with Floggingmolly. I wouldn't imagine the 'entertainers' ignored your daughter on purpose. With just two of them at a large party with lively children all dressed up and very loud music they must have been spread very thin. It's does sound a little poorly planned, but I don't think you can blame them for your daughters rather extreme reaction. I think I would leave it and put it down to experience. You have voiced your complaints via a message already. Give your daughter a few weeks and I would imagine she will come round a bit.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 01-Dec-14 13:25:55

Wow, that toddler really knows how to hold a grudge! Call me Rudolph, you're dead to me...

I think you should have sorted it out at the time. Gone up with your daughter and said "Excuse me, she's desperate to hold your hand but she's getting lost in the crowd." You have to fight their corner sometimes, and better to do it there and then than when it's too late to put it right.

NancyRaygun Mon 01-Dec-14 13:26:01

I feel like inviting these girls round to ensure I never have to watch Frozen again!

YABU - although I understand where you are coming from. Your DD sounds too little for that kind of party. They (the sure start) should have done something more traditionally Christmassy perhaps - but I am sure the intention was good.

I think you are being a touch pfb to be perfectly honest!

Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses Mon 01-Dec-14 13:37:56

Just let it go.

Ridingthestorm Mon 01-Dec-14 13:40:12

I agree, a touch PFB, but I can be guilty of that at times!

It is awful to see the ''light of your life' upset and from your perspective, and hers, she was largely ignored. But, chances are, it wasn't intentional. I can imagine that the party was full of hyper toddlers and pre-schoolers all wanting to get in on the action and unfortunately, your DD was probably not as assertive as the rest. I have a pre-schooler boy like this. I don't allow it to bother me, because he is wonderful in lots of different ways and do not see assertiveness as the bee all and end of all of life.

You complained, and got an apology. Leave it at that. Mention you weren't happy with (tell them the issues) the party to the sure start centre, but again, don't expect anything. Not sure what there would be to expect!

As for her not wanting to watch frozen Gagarin, leave her to it. To her, she has had an awful experience but at that age, they will soon forget and may start watching/liking it again. Or (with a bit of luck) something else obsessive will present itself. Paddington??????

KatsMother28 Mon 01-Dec-14 14:14:26

Oky doky. I wasn't the only one that complained to the Surestart about it but I will take the apology and forget about it. Hopefully she'll come round soon as she did previously love it. Thanks people.

chrome100 Mon 01-Dec-14 14:14:44

Oh dear.

I think you are overreacting a little. Just forget about it. Your daughter will.

BigRedBall Mon 01-Dec-14 14:19:32

Ok, I'm going for the obvious response: Let it go. grin.

But really, be glad woman! My dd has just gotten over Frozen. It was a long 11 months, but it's finally over.

BalloonSlayer Mon 01-Dec-14 14:19:45

Why can't you just tell her that those weren't the real Anna and Elsa but people dressed up, that's why they were not very nice. I would. I would even add that I'd complained.

ImFineThankYouSusan Mon 01-Dec-14 14:23:38


Aeroflotgirl Mon 01-Dec-14 14:24:04

Let it go let go, you have to let it go, let go let it goooooooooo

LadyLuck10 Mon 01-Dec-14 14:25:09

Yabu and I think if you read your post again you will find how precious you come across. Your child was one in what seems like a lot of children that needed to be entertained. There is no need to make a drama out of this with your dd. It's simple, don't have anything to do with the frozen theme. She will survive.

TheBogQueen Mon 01-Dec-14 14:29:16


Vintage mumsnet

Christmas is upon us

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Mon 01-Dec-14 14:35:24

What were you doing while your daughter was trying and failing to interact with the performers? Presumably as you were supervising if the behaviour really was poor you could have intervened?

But really...

#Let it go

Lindy2 Mon 01-Dec-14 14:36:03

If it was your daughter's birthday and she wasn't getting lots of attention then you might have a point. Being a Surestart party I assume it was free to attend and catered for lots of different children?
If my DD had wanted to dance but the character wasn't able to I think I'd have simply danced with her myself to distract her. You and your DD do sound a bit like you are making a mountain out of a molehill I'm afraid. Also being a bit ungrateful as I'm sure it took a lot of organising by the staff.
I help as a volunteer at our Surestart and parents that moan about petty things at events they are able to attend for free are a bit of a bug bear of mine. A lot of work and cost goes into a lot of these events.

BuzzardBird Mon 01-Dec-14 14:37:03

I like that she went as Rudolf Sven, shows she is not too bothered about the typical 'Frozen' image anyway.

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