PIL live 6 hours away from us. My parents live 1.5 hours away. PIL have always been annoyed /jealous about DH and I seeing my parents more than them and this has got much worse since DS (18 months) came along. We go up to visit PIL for a few days probably every three months and they come and stay with us a few times a year too. We probably see my parents once a month or every 6 weeks.
There's always a horrible atmosphere when we visit and MIL in particular often makes catty comments about us seeing my parents, often storms off in tears and is always sullen/ openly hostile on the day we leave.
DH doesn't have a great relationship with them. They aren't really interested in his life and constantly complain to him about what they perceive as unacceptable behaviour on our part, or each other. They almost ruined our wedding by complaining that they weren't allowed to invite their own guests and make decisions on venue etc. and they were pretty dreadful when DS was born in traumatic circumstances - insisting DH took them out for dinners and lunches when DS was in NICU and I was in hospital, storming off without saying goodbye because my brother was coming to visit DS in hospital after them, and being really nasty to DH because my DF had offered to come and paint our new house for us so we wouldn't have to leave DS.
Anyway, last year we spent Christmas with my parents and then met up with PIL a few days later (the journey to their house was too far for DS at that point). This year we assumed we would go to their house for Christmas, so it's fair, but they didn't invite us. DH told them we would like to come to them and they seemed pleased. We are staying four nights and leaving on Boxing Day morning, so we can drive down to my parents' house. My DM is a HCP and is working everyday over Christmas apart from Boxing Day, plus my DB and Dsis will also be there on that day, so it's the only day everyone can be together.
MIL is apparently very unhappy about this and said she always gets 'a bum deal' and that she is clearly 'out of favour'. She hasn't said any of this to me directly; everything is to DH and he has a pretty much zero tolerance approach to any snide comments about me.
Anyway, sorry this is so long but disn't want to drip feed. AIBU to phone MIL to explain situation (again ) to her and basically politely tell her to back off and stop being so catty? I have only once spoken to PIL directly about their behaviour (wedding related) and it did not go well. Tears and storming off (her), aggression and storming off (him). WWYD?
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AIBU?
To speak to MIL about this (Christmas-related family crap)?
38 replies
NewToAllThis11 · 01/12/2014 12:40
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