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.... to not really see what the problem is?

(12 Posts)
PlumpingUpPartridge Mon 01-Dec-14 11:52:25

People come on here and post all the time, mostly venting, about how annoyed they are at family/friends/acquaintances/people in the street.

Others come on here and say 'You're an AWFUL person' because they consider online venting on a sort-of anonymous forum to be some sort of betrayal of the complainee. I mean, if it's kept at least vaguely vague then what is the problem?

I think that MN venting has saved many a friendship because Friend A doesn't say 'Oh just FUCK OFF' to Friend B when Friend B is rude, but goes off and vents her frustrations online. Then when Friend A meets Friend B again, she's got it out of her system and doesn't have to suppress the urge to slam Friend B's face into the table.

I grumble to DH about small things my friends have done all the time. I voice the frustration and, by talking about it, realise that IABU and get over the annoyance. I am lucky to have DH to grumble to, but many don't and so vent here.

Why does it make so many posters angry, though? Seriously, this puzzles me.

I'd be interested to hear responses from anyone who does get angry at this.....

Cotherstone Mon 01-Dec-14 12:02:11

I have no idea why people find it so bad either. Sometimes in life you just need to vent. Surely that's what MN is for?

ghostyslovesheep Mon 01-Dec-14 12:02:15

Well their responses made u angry enough to start a thread about it ... So maybe you know the answer?

Sn00p4d Mon 01-Dec-14 12:07:56

Don't think op comes across as angry, just venting, which was the point being made!

PlumpingUpPartridge Mon 01-Dec-14 12:12:02

ometimes in life you just need to vent. Surely that's what MN is for?

My thoughts exactly Cotherstone.

ghostys I'm not sure I understand what you mean. I am one of those people who is often quite surprised at social responses, so I am trying to work out what it is that I'm missing (if anything).

I'm not actually angry about the topic, but confused. Why do people get so upset if you grumble about your MIL (for example) on a public forum? Is it that touchy a subject for so many people? And are they all so incapable of looking beyond their own situation and into someone else's in a non-emotional fashion?

I work in a scientific field and got quite used to separating my feelings from the observable facts. Just because I want to be right doesn't mean I am right.

DejaVuAllOverAgain Mon 01-Dec-14 12:12:28

I don't think the OP is angry. It's something I've wondered about from time to time. I'm not angry about it just curious as to why. It's one thing to think the OP of a thread is BU quite another to get angry about them venting.

DejaVuAllOverAgain Mon 01-Dec-14 12:12:54

I don't think the OP is angry. It's something I've wondered about from time to time. I'm not angry about it just curious as to why. It's one thing to think the OP of a thread is BU quite another to get angry about them venting.

Cotherstone Mon 01-Dec-14 12:23:33

Am I allowed to grin that DejaVu posted twice? grin grin

Maybe there are some posters who never need to vent or, let's be honest, bitch about anything that has happened to them. I can't imagine what that would be like though - surely in RL little things do just get up your nose, but you know it's not worth actually causing a ruck over?

PlumpingUpPartridge Mon 01-Dec-14 12:30:24

That's just it, deja - some posters get angry that you're venting at all and take it as proof that you're awful.

I think it just means that what bothers one person doesn't bother another. For example, I see threads where people are frothing over (e.g) car parking. I can't say I've ever been in a situation where it has mattered to me, but I respect your right to be pissed off. For me to dismiss their feelings would indicate a lack of emotional intelligence on my part. For me to shout at them to grow up and focus on other stuff would imply that a) I am under stress in my own life and/or b) that I have got this same problem and am trying desperately to ignore it.

It's an interesting study of humans, really.

DejaVuAllOverAgain Mon 01-Dec-14 17:08:04

Oh, dear, I had to go out shortly after posting so didn't realise I'd posted twice blush I guess I'm fulfilling my username grin

I know what you mean Partridge I don't drive/have DC at school/live near a school so I don't get personally affected by bad driving/parking by parents but I can see how it would annoy other people and rightly so.

BackforGood Mon 01-Dec-14 17:18:48

I have no issues with someone coming on to just rant - or even to ask for a bit of sympathy and hand holding.

I do however get annoyed when they say "Why do men....." or "Why do in-laws....." etc., as it's just transferring one problem with one dp, onto half the world's population.

I also get cross when they post in AIBU, when they are not prepared to be told that they are....if you don't want to know, don't ask, just post in chat or relationships or whatever and say you want to rant for a bit.

littlemslazybones Mon 01-Dec-14 17:51:01

I think it's when friend A is creating unnecessary drama that the YABU's come out in force. I think people resent the drama lamas in their own lives and respond through that lens.

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