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To not want any contact with this guy?

(49 Posts)
DrewOB Sun 30-Nov-14 08:19:13

Hello all!
Sorry a bit long.
On Friday, my boyfriend and I went for drinks with a mate of his I'd never met before. Barely arrived and he started making comments such as "I hate the f*cking French" ( which I am), or " you have a very slappable face" which I ignored and tried to diffuse with humor. We chatted a bit longer then out of the blue he actually slapped me! Not hard and it was not painful but I was shocked (and retaliated appropriately) then we excused ourselves and left.
So my question is, I know I never want to see him again but my boyfriend has to as part of his job. Wibu to ask him to not hang out with him outside work? I've never had a guy touch me even as a joke and to be fair I'm still in shock.

notagainffffffffs Sun 30-Nov-14 08:23:50


notagainffffffffs Sun 30-Nov-14 08:24:19

That was supposed to be a shockrd face!!so sorry!

notagainffffffffs Sun 30-Nov-14 08:25:15

But obviously yanbu. What a prick.

Littleturkish Sun 30-Nov-14 08:26:04

What the actual fuck??

What did your boyfriend say? Who is this guy in relation to him?

Even though it happened out of work, I'm pretty sure most managers wouldn't look kindly on employees hitting colleagues partners?

EverythingsRunningAway Sun 30-Nov-14 08:26:16

Does you boyfriend have any inclination to spend time with this weirdo voluntarily?

Betrayedbutsurvived Sun 30-Nov-14 08:27:14

Wtf! Didn't your boyfriend knock his block off say anything to him

DoubleValiumLattePlease Sun 30-Nov-14 08:27:24

What did your boyfriend say when this jerk slapped you?

watchingthedetectives Sun 30-Nov-14 08:27:51

What did your boyfriend say about this?

The guy is a complete arse - has he been like this before? (I know you hadn't met him but presume your boyfriend has seen him in action)

ChasedByBees Sun 30-Nov-14 08:31:08

You realise you could press charges for assault? I would be tempted.

DrewOB Sun 30-Nov-14 08:34:28

They were both quite tipsy so at the time he didn't react. He's apologised several times since for putting me on that situation and not knocking the guy out, I think he refrained as he knows I don't like him fighting my battles.
Guy is a supplier he uses and they've known each other for 10 years. His main reaction though was " oh yeah H can be a bit of a c*nt"

ArsenicSoup Sun 30-Nov-14 08:37:02

Your BF could have warned you.

YANBU at all.

What an arse.

Littleturkish Sun 30-Nov-14 08:48:58

I would be rethinking the Boyf too, in all honesty.

I don't know anyone who thinks it's ok to behave like that.

pluCaChange Sun 30-Nov-14 09:14:57

Well, if the guy is a supplier, rather than a client, surely he has more to lose from a spoiled relationship with your BF than your BF does. I can't understand how he thought even insulting you was a good idea. He must be thick as well as aggressive.

As for your BF, his reaction and the fact that there is some relationship there, that really shows a lack of sensitivity and judgement. Is he nice otherwise? Does he have nice friends? Is he still on good terms with other girlfriends?

FunkyBoldRibena Sun 30-Nov-14 09:16:59

Erm, go see the police - that is assault.

FluffyMcnuffy Sun 30-Nov-14 09:18:23

If a man slapped me my DP would hit the fucking roof!

YANBU but why didn't your DP stick up for you? Big red flag IMO.

DrewOB Sun 30-Nov-14 09:30:35

Yes he still talks to exes and his other friends are really lovely. I think he hangs out with that guy because they have the work in common.

DixieNormas Sun 30-Nov-14 09:37:02

He said you had a slappable face shock did he slap you in the face? Think id have knocked him out myself tbh.

Im surprised your bf didnt react, I would probably have to hold dp back if someone slapped me

LovleyRitaMeterMaid Sun 30-Nov-14 09:42:07

I don't think I would hold him back dixie! grin

CakeAndWineAreAFoodGroup Sun 30-Nov-14 09:43:52

So your boyfriend allowed his friend to assault you and did nothing?


Police. And rethink whether you want this man in your life. He should be defending you and not just sitting there "a bit tipsy". The moment that his friend made the first comment about you he should have warned him off and let him know that it was totally unacceptable and that he wouldn't stand for it. Instead he let it go, so the other guy had your boyfriend's tacit approval to insult and then assault you.

confusedandemployed Sun 30-Nov-14 09:44:54

Oh my good lord. My DP would have tore him off a strip and cancelled his contract. What a total, utter wankstain.
I hope your DP is suitably mortified for mishandling the situation.

DrewOB Sun 30-Nov-14 09:46:18

Yes he did. To be fair I work in construction so used to deal with twattish guys and I've shouted enough at my boyfriend about not being weak and not wanting him to fight my battles and I slapped guy back immediately and stared him down.

Icimoi Sun 30-Nov-14 09:46:54

If he's a supplier your boyfriend uses, I would expect your boyfriend to be looking for other suppliers immediately. Certainly he should stop associating with him.

DixieNormas Sun 30-Nov-14 09:47:26

grin dp isnt the type to go around hitting people but im pretty sure he would make an exception for anyone who slapped me!

I wouldnt have to ask him not to hang around with him any more either, he just wouldnt.

PacificDogwood Sun 30-Nov-14 09:49:09

Well handled IMO, Drew

That's shocking and horrible behaviour and yes, I'd avoid him like the plague.

I don't think that your DP should have barged in and you did handle it well, but maybe he'd consider another supplier? I would not want to do business with somebody like that.

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