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AIBU to feel lonely and a little resentful this evening?

(15 Posts)
BuntyBonus Sat 29-Nov-14 23:24:05

I think I probably am. I'm a single mum to a 16 month old boy. I was supposed to be on a rare night out tonight but babysitting plans fell through due to an emergency for the babysitters. There's been nothing on TV and ds wouldn't settle for ages. Moan moan moan.

My closest friend (no children) made so many promises that she would support me when I had my son. She does pop in sometimes and has looked after him once for 3 hours while I went out for lunch. AIBU to have expected more?

My parents are away (they are great parents and would have babysat in a flash) I am missing them. I have made a few friends with toddlers but they do things with their partners at the weekend. Understandably. My pre children friends are generally great but have little understanding of what life is like with hardly any money and a toddler. Again, understandably. I was made redundant and further work until after Christmas seems unlikely. AIBU to just want someone to pat me on the back, give me a glass of wine and acknowledge that is hard sometimes.

I know there are so many people worse off than me. I wouldn't change my little boy for anything, I'm just feeling a little low and stuck in a rut this evening.

AgentZigzag Sat 29-Nov-14 23:33:31

<pats back> wine you're right, it is fucking hard sometimes.

YANBU to feel cheated out of a night out at a time when you're struggling and desperately need a bit of escapism.

At 16 months they're in to bloody everything grin and it's hard work keeping your eye on the ball 24/7.

Hope you manage to get some time for yourself soon cake

SASASI Sat 29-Nov-14 23:35:25

YANBU - it's ok to have an 'off' night!

It's disappointing when plans you have been looking forward to fall through. I also know what you mean about friends - my childless friends def don't visit as much as what they said they would!
I also know what you mean about missing your parents - mine are my best friends & I really miss them when they are away on hols or for a wkend.

Can you have a a glass of wine now while DS in bed? Have you any books to curl up in bed with a hot water bottle?

Nervypreg Sat 29-Nov-14 23:35:51

No real advice to give but didn't want to read and run.
It's just bad timing - your babysitter let you down, your parents are away and there's naff-all on the tele. If one of those things were different you wouldn't feel low right now. I bet your ds is pleased you haven't gone out if he was fussing anyway! It's hard work being a parent, let alone a single parent. flowers and wine

grandmainmypocket Sat 29-Nov-14 23:36:06

Buntybonus you should give yourself a pat on the back. Being a single mum is hard especially when they're tiny. I think YABU regarding friend though. She probably doesn't realise how tough it is.
It's fine to feel sorry for ourselves from time to time.
Hope you get some time off soon.

AmIthatHot Sat 29-Nov-14 23:43:06

YANBU, and I wish I could give you a big hug.

It's shit when babysitting doesn't work out. On the plus side, you won't have a hangover in the morninggrin

BuntyBonus Sat 29-Nov-14 23:46:18

Thank you lots for your replies. Really appreciate it and has actually lifted my spirits a little.

I think you're right about my friend grandmainmypocket - I was exactly the same before I had ds. I actually used to wonder what people did all day while on maternity leave. In reality, it's often harder (and lonelier) than my job was (m/h nurse)

SASISI - I feel just the same about my parents. Very lucky to have them.

missymayhemsmum Sat 29-Nov-14 23:47:24

YANBU, you are being human. Other nights will come, but you were looking forward to tonight and are understandably disappointed.

BuntyBonus Sat 29-Nov-14 23:47:51

Yep, no hangover in the morning is a bit of a bonus! I'm such a lightweight nowadays (not in actual weight unfortunately) that two glasses of wine is enough to get me pretty giddy.

cheesecakemom Sat 29-Nov-14 23:53:29

It is hard sometimes! YANBU for that.

I would say you are lucky that your friend actually comes to watch your kid!!! I don't have any friends who have done that for me so count yourself lucky! Our family members live hours away.

Life does change when you become a mother.

AgentZigzag Sun 30-Nov-14 00:11:48

I've been making my way through 'weird accidents that are strangely hilarious' out of classics, it'll defo cheer you up grin 4 YO DD keeps asking what I'm laughing at grin

This post is one of the (probably the ) funniest posts I've ever read on MN -

'DS2 perhaps has the best story ever. He was about 4, and newly in his mid sleeper. We were sitting downstairs watching the tv, when all of a sudden there was a pitiful wail 'Muuuuuummmeeeeeeeee'. DH and I looked at each other, sighed, and rock/paper/scissored (DS was a bit of a bugger at bed time, and we assumed too hot/cold/need a wee/drink/lost teddy etc). I lost, and went up. As I reached the landing, I looked left into DS2's room and was confronted with a very full pillowcase with eyes. DS had managed to climb into said pillowcase, but got his head stuck in the flappy bit. He barely fitted and had no wriggle room to free himself. All that was showing of my DS were his sad eyes, as he weebled around in his pillowcase prison. I howled and DH had to come up to help free him as my hands went all week. DS didn't talk to us for ten minutes as he was furious at how funny we found it. Christ, just remembering it now has set me off again <wipes tears>'

Pahaha at him weebling around in his pillowcase prison grin

BuntyBonus Sun 30-Nov-14 00:40:44

Ha! That has made me chortle AgentZigzag. Will go check it out.

BuntyBonus Sun 30-Nov-14 00:59:07

I do usually count myself lucky cheesecakemom, especially where my parents are concerned. It must be hard sometimes if you don't have any family members living nearby.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sun 30-Nov-14 01:05:45

Ooh yes, do go to classics for a rootle around, it's like having all of the best bits of mn in your corner. Which we are. It is such hard work on your own, and it's double hard when a rare night off falls through. flowers

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Sun 30-Nov-14 01:16:31

YANBU.I was going to have a night in with DW as DD was out overnight. Cahors! Curry! Clothing optional...ahem.

Except there was a BIG emergency at work mid morning and she got in 30 minutes ago. I'm glad she's back but now I'm awake and she isn't.

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