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that one child might inherit more than another....(logical people needed for this!)

(178 Posts)
thelmasmonkey Sat 29-Nov-14 21:06:27

I'm in the process of writing will with dh but don't know if what is a fair division of assets between dcs.

Dc1 is mine from a previous relationship. DC1's father is well off. Dc2 is from current relationship.

Dh and my assets are tied into our property.

Should our property be split fifty fifty between dc1 and dc2 in event of both our deaths?
Or should my half be split fifty fifty between children while his half goes to dc2. That means dc2 stands to inherit 3/4 of estate but dc1 might potentially inherit all of her fathers.
Dc1 would inherit from her father. Dc1 will also reside with her father in event of my death. If dh and I both die then dc 2 will be orphaned and need money to help with her upbringing.

What makes me uneasy though is that there's a small risk that dc1 might not inherit anything from her father and will only have 1/4 of current estate. But if we do split 50/50 dc1 stands to inherit a lot more if her father does leave her everything.


Yes I am aware that dcs might not get anything as estate could be used to fund me and dh in old age but l also want to prepare for alternative too.

Any advice would be great.

greenfolder Sat 29-Nov-14 21:11:04

If you are both fit and well, take out sufficient life insurance to cover every possible need for both dcs until they are 21 and split it 50/50 Revisit it when they are adults.

eltsihT Sat 29-Nov-14 21:14:19

What ever you decide make sure you children know so that they know the logic behind it and don't get more upset/bitter after your deaths than need be.

I would maybe be tempted to go for a thirds spilt so dc1 gets 1 third of the estate (1 parent stake) and dc2 gets 2 thirds (2 parent stake)

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sat 29-Nov-14 21:15:16

Because you cannot be completely certain about DC1 inheriting her Father's estate I think you should split 50/50 as they are both your DC. what DC1s Dad does is his business.

BlackDaisies Sat 29-Nov-14 21:15:21

I think you have to leave your ex out of the equation and split fairly between your children. Like you say, you can't know or assume what he will do with his money. Even in your worst case scenarios I would split equally.

thelmasmonkey Sat 29-Nov-14 21:15:52

eltsih thats an idea!

JeanSeberg Sat 29-Nov-14 21:16:34

You should split between them equally. What the other parent does or doesn't leave is irrelevant.

thelmasmonkey Sat 29-Nov-14 21:16:39

Yes. Mine will be split fifty fifty but mine is only half of the estate.

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sat 29-Nov-14 21:16:57

Monkey what are the chances that your ex might not leave anything to your DC with him? Could he leave it to someone else? Might he have more DC? Remarry?

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sat 29-Nov-14 21:17:35

Monkey yes...I mean you need to split the entire estate 50 50 not just your half.

Apatite1 Sat 29-Nov-14 21:17:40

I think DC1 could reasonably expect to inherit from her father and mother, and DC2 from her father and mother. You are the mother of both. So IMHO each DC should only have expectations from their own biological parents. If that is unequal amounts then I think it's still justifiable, even if not strictly "fair".

NeedABumChangeNotANameChange Sat 29-Nov-14 21:17:40

I would agree with post above and go thirds 1/3 to dc1. Also depends how close your dp is to dc1 as he would effectively be giving away his estate to a non-relative over his own child.

thelmasmonkey Sat 29-Nov-14 21:18:09

Its dhs half of estate that I am discussing.

Also how can I discount what ex leaves to dc1. Surely that's a consideration?

wheresthelight Sat 29-Nov-14 21:19:45

we have this dilemma with dd who is mine and dp's and dss and dsd who are dp's. we have taken out life insurance to cover dsc's upto age 21 and will revisit but as far as dp's estate goes the house comes to me and dd as the kids will have their mum's house

JeanSeberg Sat 29-Nov-14 21:22:35

But how will you explain it to the child? I can't see how it could possibly appear fair. Bottom line is you've left more to one that the other. And the one you've left more to lives with you full time too...

cozietoesie Sat 29-Nov-14 21:25:12

I've been executor to more than one estate (and been party to the division of others) and it's my experience that, rightly or wrongly, people seem to see the division as a demonstration of the equality or otherwise of the deceased person's love for them rather than an acknowledgement of need.
I've not come across bad family strife where there were straight splits regardless of the financial status of the legatees.

waithorse Sat 29-Nov-14 21:26:56

I'd split the estate 50-50. Your 50% gets split between your children, your dh's half goes to dc2. But your children should know the reasons behind this. Though I assume you and your dh are youngish and in good health, so don't worry about this yet.

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sat 29-Nov-14 21:27:14

Monkey but you don't know what ex will leave do you? What if he leaves nothing?

iggly2 Sat 29-Nov-14 21:28:07

This must be a hard one. I think in your situation I would split everything 50:50 between the 2 children as there is no guarentee that DC1 will be left anything by her father, or that her father will not have more children/remarry.

Alternatively what about writing one will for now (where both children are still dependents) and leave more to DC 2 if your DH dies. If in the scenario where DC2 is left more in one will than by the time the second will is used (i.e. other parent passes) then there maybe time to amend the amounts to make up for discrepancies. In this case it will be more for your DH to write the will and maybe name DC 2 as his beneficiary. The difficulty here maybe leaving you without means to support yourself due to one less income coming in (does he have life insurance?). I think naming guardians is very important.

Laterly can another will not be written? You maybe more likely to know the contents of exH's will and also if both children are supporting themselves.

MidniteScribbler Sat 29-Nov-14 21:29:15

What does your DH want to do?

Personally I say 50/50. Take your ex out of the equation, you are no longer tied to him. What would your child think if they only received a quarter of your estate then received nothing from their father, while their sibling inherited a lot more?

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sat 29-Nov-14 21:29:59

Iggly I agree. That's the only sure way.

needaholidaynow Sat 29-Nov-14 21:34:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VroomOnTheBroom Sat 29-Nov-14 21:40:47

I'd leave my half of the estate 50/50 to both children, with a life interest to DH so he could live there/use the assets or whatever. What DH does with his half will be up to him if he outlives me, and I can't change that. I wouldn't want to risk him inheriting my full share of the estate and later finding a new partner who may suggest or influence that he leave nothing to DC1 who isn't biologically his.

I used to do some will writing, and I firmly believe that no eventuality should be discounted as "he would never do that to DC"... I once had a guy in with his new wife who wanted his pre-teen dcs from his first marriage cut out of his will entirely in such a way that they could not contest it. I'm sure he loved those babies when they were born and no one ever thought he would want his own young children told in express terms that they were not to get a penny if he died, but who really knows what goes on in other people's lives/minds?

NeedABumChangeNotANameChange Sat 29-Nov-14 21:52:50

What does your DH want to do? It is his half of the estate after all, does he want to leave it to his child or split it between his child and his step child?

bonhomme Sat 29-Nov-14 21:56:06

I would split 50/50 - you can't be sure what will happen in the future - ex DH might leave all his money in a mad moment to the RSPCA

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