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Who Was BU?

(26 Posts)
Sunna Sat 29-Nov-14 08:49:04

DS's GF was asked by a friend to help man a charity stall yesterday in a city some distance away (2 hour train journey). She reserved seats for both journeys as she knew she would be on her feet all day.

On the journey there she got a few "looks" and heard passive aggressive remarks from people who felt they had a greater need and who seemed to expect her to give up her seat as the train filled up.

On the return journey she quickly found her seat hoping for a restful journey home while her feet recovered. The train became very crowded eventually people were standing in all the aisles.

She was sitting in an aisle seat and the person next to her asked GF to let her out as her stop was the next one. GF stood up and a woman with a toddler sat down quickly in the window seat. This woman's husband/partner tried to take GF's seat with another child. She explained she wasn't getting off and had only moved to let the woman out and she sat down quickly.

The woman's DH asked GF to move elsewhere so that he and his child could have her seat. There were no other seats free, so GF said no, as there was nowhere else to sit. He became quite unpleasant and said his child needed to sit down. GF explained she had reserved the seat because she needed it. A woman opposite could see GF was getting upset and told the man to leave her alone and he should have reserved a seat if he needed one.

Was she BU to expect to be able to sit in a seat she had reserved? And was he BU to expect her to move?

hesterton Sat 29-Nov-14 08:51:33

She was not unreasonable at all. He xould have reserved a seat for himself and his child but he didn't.

Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses Sat 29-Nov-14 08:52:40

No not U at all.

AmserGwin Sat 29-Nov-14 08:52:47

He was BU, it was her seat! Glad the other passenger stuck up for her

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 29-Nov-14 08:57:51

Of course she wasn't unreasonable, he was a twat and it's good to hear someone defended her.

Sunna Sat 29-Nov-14 09:01:06

I think she was close to tears, she's a bit on the sensitive side, so I'm really glad the woman spoke up for her.

It's been worrying her and she'd begun to doubt herself a bit.

Thanks for the reassurances, I'll show her this.

Unescorted Sat 29-Nov-14 09:03:39

Friday night travelling by train is always awful. Bags that need seats are my pet hate. On my commute there is always people who think that their rucksack / suitcase needs to take up seating. Yesterday a woman collapsed on the train and a lady still thought it was unreasonable to move her shopping to the luggage rack. Admittedly yesterday was particularly bad - another reason to hate "Black Friday"

DejaVuAllOverAgain Sat 29-Nov-14 09:06:25

He was BU. If he wanted a seat he should have reserved one.

mommy2ash Sat 29-Nov-14 09:06:55

poor girl of course she wasn't being unreasonable. I hate that some parents seem to think the world revolves around their offspring. if he was that concerned he would have prebooked seats

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen Sat 29-Nov-14 09:09:07

Of course he was BU. And an entitled twat.

IKnitYouKnot Sat 29-Nov-14 09:43:23

As a parent, I'd rather my children were sat on buses/trains etc, BUT I would never just expect someone to move, especially if they'd reserved a seat.
Most people will offer a seat to my 2yo DD, but my boys are older, and not in as much need, so while I might accept the offer for DD I usually don't for the boys as they have much better balance.
But then as a parent I avoid the busiest trains where possible and if it can't be avoided I reserve seats for all of us including the 2yo but usually sit her on my lap if it's busy so someone else can sit down

SaucyJack Sat 29-Nov-14 09:47:18

She wasn't unreasonable at all.

It was her bloody seat.

LadyLuck10 Sat 29-Nov-14 09:56:04

She was not unreasonable at all. She had reserved the set, and if he wanted to make sure his child had one he should have done the same.
hmmAt him for using the 'child' line to get away with anything.

Booboostoo Sat 29-Nov-14 09:56:34

The train company is super BU for selling a service it cannot provide, making people suffer and putting them in a position where someone is, inevitably, rude.

WD41 Sat 29-Nov-14 09:58:11

She wasn't being U and glad the passenger stood up for her

ilovesooty Sat 29-Nov-14 09:59:51

It was her reserved seat. She wasn't at all unreasonable.

And then you need to think of people who look like they don't need a seat bit do.

I've arthritis. I don't look like I do, but I couldn't stand for more than 10 mins. So I book a seat and tbh unless you were elderly, you would have to prise me out of it. Your gf is not unreasonable at al.

addictedtobass Sat 29-Nov-14 10:00:20

He was being bloody unreasonable, as were anyone else tutting- they should have been savvy and booked their own seats.

bauhausfan Sat 29-Nov-14 10:05:40

He was being a rude bastard! I hate people like that!

I do always worry about the etiquette of giving up bus seats. My DS1 is nearly 9 but the height and build of a 12 year old. He looks like a big robust fellow but has dyspraxia and epilepsy. I could never allow him to give up his seat but I also really don't want to justify it to other people (I don't want him seeing himself as different/disabled).

I worry that some busybody (always older women, I find) will challenge us on it some day.

We home ed and already get enough bother from older ladies wanting to know why my kids aren't in school!

Sunna Sat 29-Nov-14 10:40:36

My friend had a son who couldn't stand Bauhaus. She bought an adult ticket for him on buses and showed it to anyone who got a bit sniffy.

Adult ticket = entitled to a seat, if there is one going.

Nanny0gg Sat 29-Nov-14 13:06:42

It was nothing to do with the child needing a seat - he wanted to sit down himself!

He was being very rude.

RobinHumphries Sat 29-Nov-14 13:19:07

I saw a new one the last time I was waiting for a train - a mobile phone needing its own seat (or waiting to be pinched - I couldn't make my mind up).

Booboostoo it has been mentioned on threads previously that buying a ticket means the train company will move you from A to B, a seat is a bonus but does not have to be supplied unless one has been reserved. It is not inevitable to be rude.

Thumbwitch Sat 29-Nov-14 13:21:32

He was definitely unreasonable, rude and a bully. Glad that someone else stood up for your DS's girlfriend, since it sounds like she was getting upset. sad

What a horrible example to set for his children. sad

Sunna Sat 29-Nov-14 14:09:02

She's fine now, thanks for all the posts. I'm glad he didn't succeed in bullying her out of her seat. Otherwise his children will grow up thinking that's ok.

Booboostoo Sat 29-Nov-14 20:54:12

robin cramming people standing in carriages for long hours is simply not acceptable and can't be the totality of a rail company's obligation in selling you a ticket (without a reserved seat). Aside from the obvious problems of people who need seats being unable to reserve them, having people standing is far more dangerous in case of an accident as is overcrowding in case of having to evacuate the train. Rail travel did not use to be like this, nor is it like this in other countries - when did this dangerous compromise become an acceptable norm especially for tickets that are comparatively extremely expensive?

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