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To be really annoyed that he brought race/nationality into this?

(16 Posts)
AryaUnderfoot Fri 28-Nov-14 21:40:26

Long story, please bear with me...

I live diagonally opposite my DCs' primary school at the start of a very long cul-de-sac. Like all primary schools, it has issues with car parking around school run times. I was well aware of this before buying the house in 2002. Opposite our house is a side street of 6 houses. The road is not wide enough for two cars as cars park all down one side. Parents on the school run use this side street to turn their cars round, but they have three options:

1) Reverse into it from the 'main' part of the cul de sac and then turn round.
2) Drive into it forwards and then reverse onto the main part of the road.
3) Use the drives of the houses for turning.

All three options are a nightmare at peak times and cause numerous issues for everyone around the school.

Anyway, I came home yesterday (on foot) to find the street blocked by two cars involved in an argument. By the position of the cars my best guess is that a parent coming to pick up a child from the school had decided to use option 1 and had almost reversed into a red car that was coming behind him (this happens quite regularly). The parent was shouting and swearing at the owner of the red car - repeatedly using the 'f' word and calling them stupid- and then got out and told them that if they didn't 'f'ing drive off then they were going to 'do' them.

I took a photo of the car (which he obviously saw) to get details of the number plate to pass onto the police and head teacher of the school. Needless to say this isn't the kind of issue is a fairly regular occurrence.

The parent saw me and, after parking the car, he and his passenger came up my drive and started shouting at me and telling me I was stupid. He asked what I was doing taking a photograph of his car and I told him that I was reporting him for his foul language and threatening behaviour in front of a primary school. He carried out calling me stupid and told me I should ring the police (which I later did). He called me stupid a few more times.

This is the bit that really made me angry. His passenger then said 'You're stupid. You all are. You're all the same. You don't like anyone who's a foreigner'.

At this point I had a bit of a 'harpy' moment and did a bit of 'how dare you make this about race' etc and I must have gone a bit 'ultrasonic' as they left quite quickly.

I felt really, really, really offended that the passenger had basically accused me of acting only based on race/nationality. A day later and I am still really angry and upset by it.


diaimchlo Fri 28-Nov-14 21:59:02

YADNBU... we have the same issue at our school. One parent narrowly missed running a child over with her selfish parking/driving, when confronted by the Mother who had just pulled her son out of the way of being badly hurt, she shouted at her saying she was just jealous of her race.

Have a wine and well done you for fronting up to them I hate it when the race card is played in this way.

AryaUnderfoot Fri 28-Nov-14 22:05:22

Thanks! I actually feel better for having had a good vent!

lem73 Fri 28-Nov-14 22:08:53

Second that good for you you're braver than me

nocoolnamesleft Fri 28-Nov-14 22:09:09

Good for you.

lljkk Fri 28-Nov-14 22:12:06

oh dear, that's dreadful. I fear what you encountered there is what's commonly known as a twat. Rest assured that twatness knows no racial, ethnic or nationality boundaries.

WorraLiberty Fri 28-Nov-14 22:17:17


But I think you're being a bit OTT to be "really, really, really offended" by someone who is obviously an angry, ranting dick head.

It would be water off a duck to me.

SorchaN Fri 28-Nov-14 23:59:02

If someone behaved like that in my street, and then came within an inch of calling me a racist for taking issue with their bad behaviour, I'd be extremely offended too... And then I'd smile as I uploaded the photo to send to the school and the police smile.

Christina22xx Sat 29-Nov-14 01:21:47

Next time reply that you do not like anyone whos an A hole

Although i do think it was a bit extra to take a photo of the car, you know the police wont do f all about it

Christina22xx Sat 29-Nov-14 01:23:32

The guy didn't use the race card
He used the xenophobe card
A foreigner can be white

CuriouSir Sat 29-Nov-14 08:01:53

Yes, that would have angered me also.

sashh Sat 29-Nov-14 11:01:47

I've been accused of racism a couple of times. The first time a student did it I was shocked and upset. The fact that her work didn't pass and others did was apparently down to her skin colour, she shared her ethnicity with about 2/3 of the class.

The second time I said, "That is a serious matter and if you really believe it is true I think it is important you make a formal complaint to the college, however I would like you to consider whether your complaint is because I am white and that you are being racist".

Some people are arse holes, regardless of skin colour, age, disability, social status.

I think sometimes we are too scared of causing offense that when someone 'plays the card' we are shocked that we are being accused of something terrible and don't notice we are the victim, or the other person is an ass hole.

noblegiraffe Sat 29-Nov-14 11:01:53

At Uni I complained to the the girl in the room next door about her exceptionally loud music at 7am on a Saturday. She said it was because I was racist.

It's the unfairness of the accusation that really gets to you, isn't it? That race had nothing to do with it and you're not a racist. I still get annoyed about it years later!

AryaUnderfoot Sat 29-Nov-14 11:32:37

It's the unfairness of the accusation that really gets to you, isn't it?

Yes, and the fact that I find racism so offensive. I've always been one to speak my mind and I've ended up in numerous arguments with people in the past when I thought their racist views were offensive.

....but just because I'm white and they were black the only reason I apparently had a problem with them was because I'm stupid and I don't like foreigners.

CatLady25 Sat 29-Nov-14 16:27:09

Someone saying you dont like foreigners doesnt make you a racist.

cheesecakemom Sat 29-Nov-14 16:35:48

"The guy didn't use the race card
He used the xenophobe card
A foreigner can be white"

This!!! Does not equate to race!

I would have just left it to be honest. Could the council not get involved and stop them from using your drives etc - sounds like chaos.

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