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To ask dd's friend to help wash up?

(53 Posts)
MistletoeBUTNOwine Fri 28-Nov-14 16:53:33

DD has a friend round, dd is 9 friend is 10.
WIBU to ask friend to help dd wash up after tea?

LadyLuck10 Fri 28-Nov-14 16:54:54

I think ywbvu to do so. It's your dd chores not hers. She's a guest.

WendyBloomers Fri 28-Nov-14 16:55:38

Yes. Very!

Quitelikely Fri 28-Nov-14 16:56:03

Yabu. She's only 10 fgs and she's a visitor. Do them yourself!

MistletoeBUTNOwine Fri 28-Nov-14 16:56:19

Oh blush
Glad I asked!!!

DaisyFlowerChain Fri 28-Nov-14 16:56:51

YABVU, you don't ask child guests to do your housework.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 28-Nov-14 16:57:49

Ds is definitely excused from washing up/loading the dishwasher when he has a guest. I'd never ask a guest to help wash up!

PunkrockerGirl Fri 28-Nov-14 16:58:08

I never expected dc' s friends to help with the washing up. They may be children, but they're still guests imo and as such shouldn't be expected to do chores.

Up to you though.

usualsuspect333 Fri 28-Nov-14 16:58:35

She's come round to play.

Surely you can give your DD a night off from washing up.

AMumInScotland Fri 28-Nov-14 16:59:28

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't see anything wrong in it, if it's done in an 'All mucking in together' kind of way. I wouldn't go park my butt in front of the TV and leave them doing the chores though.

Viviennemary Fri 28-Nov-14 16:59:34

I would never dream of doing this. She's come round to play not to do your housework.

LoisHatesChristmas Fri 28-Nov-14 16:59:55

I wouldn't ask a guest to wash up, from a manners point of view, even a child. Your home though!

Hakluyt Fri 28-Nov-14 17:02:11

Depends.My children have "one of the family" type friends, who I would expect to pitch in without being asked, and "invited round" friends who I would treat like an adult guest.

So yes and no!

Everythingwillbeok Fri 28-Nov-14 17:02:31

No I have to disagree totally I think that's fine!

You have provided her with tea presumably?

Of course she can help her friend with her chore so they can both get back to whatever they were doing quicker.

SnowSpot Fri 28-Nov-14 17:04:13

I guess I'm in a minority with you Mistletoe. I've always asked kids to help with cleaning the plates, popping them into the dishwasher etc after a meal, and I'd be thrilled if I knew that my own DD or DS did the same at someone else's house (as I've seen them being asked to do).

I'm never horrible about it - we stick music on and muck around and make it a fun thing… I guess I have too much of the Brownie leader in me. blush

3bunnies Fri 28-Nov-14 17:05:10

I would ask them to bring their plates through but not get them to wash up.

NoSundayWorkingPlease Fri 28-Nov-14 17:05:55

Yabu.I'd not only not ask the friend but I'd excuse dd from washing them too - assuming this is an infrequent visit of course.

If the friend is the drops-in-for-tea-4-times-a-week-and-almost-lives-with-us sort of friend (I had one growing up) then yanbu and I would ask them both to help.

Hakluyt Fri 28-Nov-14 17:07:08

"YABVU, you don't ask child guests to do your housework."

But I have to pick up on this- it's not the OP's housework- it's the family's housework.

Sprink Fri 28-Nov-14 17:07:21

Wow--I've done this (with my own child and a child guest) and it's been good fun.

Obviously they're given a choice, eg "Bono usually does the washing up after lunch, would you boys like to help or go okay something else?", but in my experience they generally opt for bubbles and washing enjoy themselves.

Hadn't realised I was breaking child labour laws, oops. wink

starfishmummy Fri 28-Nov-14 17:07:31

Yanbu.
When I was young helping to getting our own meal ready and clearing up afterwards was normal when I had friends round or went to friends homes. Just our own though.

WaitingForMe Fri 28-Nov-14 17:07:31

My kids clear up after meals automatically (load dishwasher or put plates by sink). Their friends have always just followed them and done what they did.

Love the idea that I'm making child guests do housework!

ReggieJones Fri 28-Nov-14 17:10:09

If your DD normally does it then perhaps its ok to ask friend to join in. Communal washing up can be fun with radio/singing etc. On the other hand she is a guest so perhaps its a bit much. Just clearing plates to sink/dishwasher is fine though.

MistletoeBUTNOwine Fri 28-Nov-14 17:25:05

They both took plates to sink and shot off to play minecraft smile

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 28-Nov-14 18:05:09

Actually, Hak is right we have friends that practically live here and they DO help but they do it anyway without being asked, but they're here for sleep overs all the time.

DoJo Fri 28-Nov-14 18:11:24

I wouldn't ask adult guests to help with the washing up, so I wouldn't ask children to either.

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