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To expect my siblings to remember my childrens Birthdays....

(46 Posts)
summersanta Fri 28-Nov-14 16:25:06

Just that really - as they are getting older I am getting more upset with it as the children are noticing. A present or card a few days later just does not cut it. My sister has children so I am not sure why she does not get this, brothers don't but still, it is crap. Rant over

madsadbad Fri 28-Nov-14 16:30:53

My siblings don't remember my birthday, or often our parents.
Do yourself a favour and learn to get over it and save years of being upset about it.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 28-Nov-14 16:32:42

My siblings never remember my DD birthday.
My younger one does but it's not long after Christmas and people have lots going on.
I don't worry about it any more.

Sn00p4d Fri 28-Nov-14 16:35:38

Do you not remind them? Invite them to parties/celebrations of some description? I know the month of my niece and nephews birthdays but couldn't tell you the date, vague idea that's it.
They are buying presents/cards "a few days late" and it's not good enough?!
I doubt their lives revolve around your children.

treaclesoda Fri 28-Nov-14 16:35:38

None of my siblings ever do birthdays on time. One doesn't do birthdays at all -not a card, a text or a phonecall. It is easier to just accept that that is how things are than to fret about it. It doesn't make them terrible people, just people whose priorities are different.

Unless of course they are the sort of people who can't be bothered to send you a card but expect their own birthday to be treated with reverence. That would be very annoying indeed.

SwedishEdith Fri 28-Nov-14 16:36:15

I barely remember my own kids' birthdays
You are definitely BU

treaclesoda Fri 28-Nov-14 16:36:55

And I can't really criticise either, because I haven't seen my sister's daughter for months, so haven't actually had the chance to give her her birthday present yet, even thought the birthday was weeks ago.

redskybynight Fri 28-Nov-14 16:38:55

I'm not sure my siblings remember I have children.

OK, slightly tongue in cheek, but if your siblings are not super close, then why should they?

My DC love getting a card/present after their actual birthday, it prolongs the birthday feeling.

flipchart Fri 28-Nov-14 16:43:32

I've never bought my nephews and nieces birthday or Christmas present. They haven't bought mine anything. Honestly it's a non issue. We all like each other honestly!

Jessica85 Fri 28-Nov-14 16:47:59

YABU. Your DC should pleased with any cards or presents, not counting the people who didn't get them. Expecting presents and moaning that they arrive late just comes across as spoilt and suggests that everyone else's lives should revolve around them.

I do remember my nieces' and nephew's birthdays, but if they were complaining that gifts arrived late I would stop buying altogether - who wants to buy a present for someone who didn't appreciate it?!

TurnOverTheTv Fri 28-Nov-14 16:52:02

I don't have a clue when my nieces and nephews birthdays are. I could probably remember the month if pushed. My mum will remind me the week before usually.

26Point2Miles Fri 28-Nov-14 16:55:06

really? this upsets you?

iwantgin Fri 28-Nov-14 16:58:10

DB always, always forgets DS' birthday. He is now 16 - and was the 'first born' Dc out of all us siblings.

The latest he has chucked a £20 at him for his birthday was 7 months after the date.


summersanta Fri 28-Nov-14 17:07:17

I just think it is once a's not about me it's about them. Useful to have perspective though!

rubyflipper Fri 28-Nov-14 17:11:05

Actually, YANBU

How hard is it to get a card in the post on time?

26Point2Miles Fri 28-Nov-14 17:11:06

but they wont miss what they have never had?

SnowSpot Fri 28-Nov-14 17:12:40

I'd say that you should just be pleased when they make any effort at all, and forget about the times they forget. I can be hit and miss sometimes with birthdays too.

jay55 Fri 28-Nov-14 17:13:12

I'm dreadful at this. I'll know which month but not the day, then forget the address, if it's within a fortnight I feel I'm doing okay.

BoneyBackJefferson Fri 28-Nov-14 17:14:38

I don't remember when my nieces (no nephews before posters get "that way" about it) birthdays are, one of my family members reminds me.

But then they are not the absolute center of my universe.

PedlarsSpanner Fri 28-Nov-14 17:15:26


I would be upset for my children too

Viviennemary Fri 28-Nov-14 17:19:23

I'm hopeless at remembering birthdays so I certainly don't expect people to remember mine. I think a present or card a few days late is fine. It's not as if they haven't bothered at all.

JunkBox Fri 28-Nov-14 17:22:11

My Dh has 7 siblings I have 1. Guess how many cards my dc's receive???

Dc's don't miss out because they don't know any different. No big deal.

summersanta Fri 28-Nov-14 17:25:10

I guess I just always remember my siblings children's so I just expect the same in return. I'm not asking for presents just a card to acknowledge the day!

uggmum Fri 28-Nov-14 17:25:14

My sister is the same. My dc are 11 & 15.
They have never had a present from my sister that has been on time. The longest my ds has waited for a present from her is 6 months. The shortest time is 3.
My sister doesn't send cards to anyone on their birthdays.
She has 4 children and I always make sure that they receive their cards and presents a week before their birthdays.
My sister really annoys me with this. She is completely oblivious and really doesn't care. She jokes about it too.
My dc don't bank on a present these days either.

ApocalypseThen Fri 28-Nov-14 17:28:33

I remember my nephews and nieces birthdays, but certainly don't feel in any way obligated to. It's a pleasure because I choose to so it; if it was expected it of me it would quickly become an irritating chore.

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