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WIBU to go out around 5?

(5 Posts)
smokinggnu Fri 28-Nov-14 16:08:01

Exh and I use a shared diary to manage his eow contact (it varies because of his shifts). This weekend is marked as Sat / Sun. Today I had an email saying 'remember pick up today is at 5'.
It's not in the diary and whilst I had vague ideas of a trip to the cinema i hadn't told DC nor paid for tickets.
Do I just go out?
(the background is he often changes times at short notice and I get fucked off that his inability to manage his time still impacts my life).

DoJo Fri 28-Nov-14 16:15:42

Much as it is a shitty situation and I am completely sympathetic to being messed around by your ex, I think you have to go with whatever would be best for your children. If you are out when he comes to pick them up, will that meant that they don't get to see him this weekend? Will they be excited to have a night with him tonight? I know it's hard, but believe me, your children will appreciate the fact that you put them first even when it makes you blood boil when they are older - I am living proof of that!

smokinggnu Fri 28-Nov-14 16:23:00

Thanks. I know you're right. I pushed for contact after he left and, of late, hos attitude has improved and they enjoy their time with him. I just still fume about his emails. This one 'reminding' me of something that isn't even in there.
I've been tempted before but never just dropped a day or weekend.
It's so frustrating because I still have to bend over backwards when he can't get his act together and he will send a string of messages trying to explain why I am the source of communication problems.
Big sigh. Sucking it up. Again.

Suefla62 Fri 28-Nov-14 16:26:11

Send a message saying that 5 is fine, but it's hardly a reminder. Due to his poor communications it was not on the calendar.

DoJo Fri 28-Nov-14 16:36:04

Honestly, every child of divorced parents that I know has grown up fully aware of which parent had their best interests at heart and which didn't (in the cases where there was a distinction to make!). It may drive you mad, but at least if you do the best thing for the children then you will at least have that as a consolation when you are hopping mad. The moral high ground may not be easy to get to, but it is a great place to watch your children grow up

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